Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | People

Steroids? Discuss.

Old sweaty guy to gym owner: Bob*, did you know there's something wrong with one of your balls?
Gym owner: Which one?
Old sweaty guy: The little blue one. It's half deflated.
Gym owner: Oh, that one. It's always had problems. People keep doing stupid things with it.

Gym
Blue Mountains
Australia

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...You Wanna Go to Build-a-Bear?

Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.

Rockaway Mall, New Jersey

Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts

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Is That Like Asking a Black Guy to Tap Dance? Discuss.

Muscular black man: I'm like, "if you're going to be gay around me, you have to at least be funny."

St. Thomas
Virgin Islands

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Hey, I Tried Pilates for You Guys.

Beefy tattooed inmate: Hey, does anyone know how to play twister?
(rest of unit groans)

Vancouver Island Maximum Security Prison
Canadia

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Like We Saw in That Porn-- Remember?

Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude...
Meathead #2: Yeah...but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.

Gym
USC, California

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Isn't This Guy a Character on The Real World?

Ripped gym guy #1: This Jamaican guy showed me an ab exercise yesterday...it will kill you!
Ripped gym guy #2: (stares blankly, no reaction)
Ripped gym guy #1, louder: It will kill you! It will kill! You!!

Gym
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: wow, really?

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Why Arsenal Is Losing the Battle for Hearts and Minds

Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.

Japan

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A.K.A. Sunburned Cock

Meathead: Those guys are steroid monkeys.
Girl: Oh... So, you don't do steroids?
Meathead: No, girl, I eat grilled chicken.

1400 East 6th Street
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: dana

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Unless You Have Pepperoni Nipples

Gym bunny to frat boy: Yeah, but I mean, boobs don't smell like anything.

American University
Washington, DC

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Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way

Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they're expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven't you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!

Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts

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I Think You're Supposed to Whistle, Grunt, or Moan

Gym bunny: Man, I feel like a beached whale! Mooo!

Gym, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

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And Well-Deserved

Gym bunny #1: ... So then he said I must not be paying attention to my practice if I had so much to say about his.
Gym bunny #2: Oooh, that's a yoga slap if I've ever heard one!

Donkey Coffee
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: Lisa

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You Keep Bringing Them Home for Me

Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin' pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.

West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri

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