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Vertical Bars Are So Slimming

20-something goth/thug girl: Remember the time I went to jail? I didn't want to leave!

Denny's
San Antonio, Texas


Overheard by: I didn't want to be at dennys


Categories: Crimes | Default | Girls | Goths | Memory lane | Restaurants | Texas | Thugs | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-29 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wasn't I Right About 2000-- and 2001?

Goth chick: Don't talk to me about the year 2012. The year 2012 is seriously pissing me off.
Otaku chick: Try to stick around for 2013 anyway. Just trust me on this one.

University Plaza
Colorado State

A Bright, White Light, on the Other Hand...

Gamer dude: ... and the game comes with like, real guns.
Wannabe goth chick: They're actual guns?
Gamer dude: Well like, real models. And it comes with this mirror that lets you see yourself and like, shows what you look like if you get shot in the face.
Wannabe goth chick: That's nice. That's not something you would normally get to see if you got shot in the face.

UAB
Birmingham, Alabama


Overheard by: Kitty-Jack

I'm Just a Toxic Spill Waiting to Happen

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can't be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado

Mom's Been Forcing Her to Watch Seventh Heaven, to No Avail

Goth girl: I'm so proud of my sister. The rest of her classmates are doing their final projects on chihuahuas and stuff like that. My sister? Serial killers.
Friend: Dude, you're turning her into a you.
Goth girl: I know! My mom is so pissed at me.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff

Geeky girl: You know, I've still got my ex-boyfriend's mom's library card.
Goth friend: ...We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.

Aurora, Colorado

To Fight Convention?

Tall goth girl to rotund, geeky friend: She's a fat black goth! Kinda like if you, me, and Bill Cosby joined forces.

Denver, Colorado


Categories: About celebrities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Goths | Gripes | Race | Stupidity | Posted 2008-02-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But We Should Probably Spread That Rumor Just in Case

Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way.
Skinny white guy: Yep.
Goth girl: No way. Too royal.
Skinny white guy: I'm serious.
Goth girl: No way. Princess Di was way too perfect to be giving someone head while they're driving.

Melbourne
Australia


Overheard by: Nick K.


Categories: About celebrities | Australia | BJs | Default | Girls | Gossip | Goths | Guys | Skinny people | Posted 2008-02-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I, on the Other Hand, Can Wait Indefinitely

Goth girl 1: Oooh, and I am just waiting to give you herpes. I can't wait!
Goth girl 2: ... Um...

Starbucks, Ashbrook Road
Keene, New Hampshire


Overheard by: macchiato junkie


Categories: Goths | New Hampshire | STDs | Posted 2008-01-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You're Not Even Close to the Strangest Thing in Australia, Honey

Goth girl: Everybody's speaking English! Everyone's speaking English! And I'm goth! And nobody's staring at me!

Train station
Perth
Australia


Categories: Australia | Goths | Gripes | Posted 2007-12-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Only Part of Your Advice Makes Any Sense

Teen goth girl to crying friend: Ignore the guys. They're all jerks, especially at this age. Go for the ones that are, like, twenty. Actually, that's a little young. I aim for the men in their 30s or 40s. That way their kids are your age, so you can bond better with them.

Heritage Park
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia


Overheard by: c.j.


Categories: Advice | Canadia | Goths | Posted 2007-10-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Join a Less Ridiculous Subculture?

13-year-old goth boy: Hey! You look like a hippie!
Hippie: Yeah...
13-year-old goth boy, offering hand: My name's Jason*. I thought I should introduce myself since I said you looked like a hippie and all.
Hippie: Okay...
13-year-old goth boy: You know, you look like a Tim. I've got a friend named Tim who looks just like you, only his face is mousier.
13-year-old goth girl: Oh. My. God! That's it! No snowball for you!
13-year-old goth boy: Christ! I can't play with dead squirrels, I can't talk to the hippie...! What the hell can I do?!

Snowball stand
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Amused Girlfriend


Categories: Goths | Gripes | Hippies | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-06-14 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Nothing to Offer but Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat

Goth girl: My vagina's sweating.
Goth boy: They really do that? I thought it was a myth. Man, I'm glad I don't have one of those.

Congress Avenue and Barton Springs Road
Austin, Texas


Categories: Goths | Texas | Vagina | Posted 2007-04-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook