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Just As Long As I Get the Obligatory Milkbone
Girl: Well, the sad thing is I'm gonna have to treat you like Morgan when she doesn't want to take her ear infection pills.
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Maladies | Massachusetts | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yesterday You Said It Was a Type Of Fabric!
Girl #1: What, exactly, does "Muslim" mean?
Girl #2: I think it's, like, a type of Islam or something.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: Stewart
On the Other Hand, Now She Can Totally Come Clubbing with Us!
Girl to friend: Well, if she's dumb enough to use chloroform to put her baby to sleep, then that's her fault!
Virginia Commonwealth University
Overheard by: tim c
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Stupidity | Virginia | Posted 2011-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was He on Dancing with the Stars?
Girl: Wait, who's Hitler?
Guy: Are you serious?
Girl: I don't watch a lot of tv...
Peabody, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Guys | History | Massachusetts | Pop culture | Questions | Posted 2011-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Dr. Heimlich Invented His Maneuver
Guy, chuckling: Can you give me a blowjob?
Girl, also chuckling: No! Why would I do that?
Guy: Come on! Please?
Girl: No! (laughs)
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Just... No. Guy, please, there has to be some reason, just, why not?
Girl: There is no reason, I'm just not giving you a blowjob.
Guy: Oh. Come on! Please? There has to be a reason why.
Girl: I'm not giving you a blowjob because... (sighs) My mom says you would be a choking hazard, and I don't want to choke.
High School
Canadia
Categories: BJs | Body parts | Canadia | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2011-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was That a Racial Slur?
Stoned girl #1, eating mint cookie: This tastes like Oreos.
Stoned girl #2: This isn't Oreos! It's... Oxford Creme cookie.
Stoned girl #1: Sounds like a pretentious Oreo to me.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Curly
But This Place Doesn't Sell Rolling Paper
Teenage girl: How about a duke shot glass?
Friend: How old is your brother?
Teenage girl: 12.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: start em young
Categories: Age and ageing | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2011-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Spies May Be Adorable, but They Get the Job Done
Girl on cell in library: It's crunch time, sparky!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Given That We Shoot Burglars on Sight
Guy: So you still living in Yeoville?
Girl: Yeah. I love it. I've got great rent. And last time I checked crime stats, our house break-ins were way lower than other places.
Johannesburg
South Africa
Overheard by: Kingmo!
The Sad Thing Is, Not Everyone Thinks You're Crazy.
Attractive teenage girl on cell, visibly upset: Man, not even my therapist understands my concerns that I'm not emotionally ready for Harry Potter to end. It's all just very sad and everyone thinks I'm crazy. Goddamn.
Alabama
Categories: Alabama | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pop culture | Posted 2011-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Black Forest Clogs
Skinny girl, in an accusing tone of voice: Why are you wearing elf-shoes?!
Chubby friend, sounding frightened: They're not elf shoes! They're German!
Skinny girl, squinting: Hmmmm...
Toronto
Canadia
Your Editors Are Not Proud Of Having Seen This
Confused-sounding girl on cell: I could fit an orange in my vagina?
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
When Satanists Ride the BART
Girl on train, not wearing earphones: Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Roma ro ma-ma! Gaga ooh la!
Girl across the seat: I will eat your uterus.
BART
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Girls | Public Transportation | Uterus | Weirdness | Posted 2011-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Difference Between the U.S. and the Rest Of the World
Large American girl: So I asked him, "what's your problem?"
British girl: What did he say?
Large American girl: He said I was too fat.
British girl: Oh...
Large American girl: Motherfucker doesn't realize that big is beautiful.
Drunk British guy behind them: That's a whole lotta big! Chub, chub, chub!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Beauty | Diet & weight | England | Girls | Questions | Posted 2011-07-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why She Shops at The Gap.
Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
And the DMV's the Perfect Place to Discuss My Sex Drive
Girl #1: Oh! Did I tell you about the threesome I had with the married couple on the cruise ship?
Girl #2, gesturing at a father and young son sitting directly in front of them: Shhh!
Girl #1: Whatever, he needs to learn.
DMV
Walnut Creek, California
Overheard by: Shh!
To Be Fair, Dina Lohan Created Lindsay.
Girl on phone: Hi, mom, sorry I didn't call you back... I was busy having sex.
Melbourne
Australia
Categories: Australia | Character | Family ties | Girls | On the phone | Sex | Posted 2011-07-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Must Be How Men Feel About Vaginas
Short, round, drunk girl with British accent: I have to pee! I just hate walking by all these apartments knowing they all have working toilets!
Manhattan, New York
Trust Me-- I Gave Derek His First Blow Job.
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can't be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that'd do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
Bipolar Women Can Be Highly Entertaining Life Partners
Girl on phone: All right, bye. I love you sometimes.
Durham, North Carolina
Categories: Character | Compliments | Girls | North Carolina | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But Does It Matter?
Girl #1, reading a text: Oh my god, now he says that when I get home he's going to eat the shit out of that apple pie.
Girl #2: Does he know we've been using apple pie as a euphemism for sex all day?
Girl #1: No...
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Categories: Euphemisms | Food | Girls | Maryland | Questions | Posted 2011-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Was Like, "Did All That Come Out Of Me?"
Drunk 20-something girl with iPhone to friends: Hey, have a look at my photos of me getting done up the arse last night!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Unlike Most Of the San Antonio Spurs
Girl: And I was all "his mom is a slut" I mean, she sleeps with everyone.
Boy: Don't talk about my mom that way.
Girl: Why not? I mean, she's my mom, too.
Boy: No, she's not.
Girl: Well, you never know! You weren't there!
San Antonio, Texas
Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Hammer Out a Payment Plan
Girl: So if you won £100,000,000 on the lottery what would you do?
Guy: Settle some scores. There'd be a few guys from school who'd be going to work one day and suddenly find themselves being bundled into the back of a van with a black bag over their head.
Girl: Then flown out over the north Atlantic, tied up, thrown out of the plane?
Guy: I like the way you think. We should have kids.
Girl: Nah, to get into my pants you'll need to do better than that. £2,000 of jewelery would do it. (cackles hysterically)
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Every Spanish-Language Soap Opera, in a Nutshell.
Girl in next aisle: Spanish doctor, pregnant nurse! Oh, snap!
Barnes & Noble
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Pregnancy | Race | Relationships | Posted 2011-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Schoolhouse Rock Was Born
Girl: I feel rather drunk at this conjuncture!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Feelings | Girls | Illinois | Posted 2011-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Casino?
Volleyball girl: How come you have a painting of a football helmet on the wall but nothing for us?
Athletic trainer: I don't know. Maybe I'll paint something for you guys.
Volleyball girl: Yeah! You should paint a whole mirage!
Gustavus Adolphus College
Minnesota
Meanwhile, I'm at Community College on a Ping Pong Scholarship
Drunk girl: I have two sisters. One goes to UPenn, she's really smart. The other one goes to Drexel, she's not very smart...
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Categories: Compliments | Drunks | Education | Family ties | Girls | Pennsylvania | Posted 2011-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was Pointing to My Birthday Cake!
Crying girl on cell: He said "I would fuck," and I just don't know what that means in that context!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Because Jello Is More Traditional
Girl to friend: I just don't understand why people don't want to be covered in spaghetti!
University of Virginia
Overheard by: MW
Categories: Food | Girls | Sensory experiences | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait 'Til She Learns She Can't Go Down On Him.
Dumb blonde: Jesus is such a cockblock!
UCLA
California
If You Get Your Stomach Pumped, You Can Write All About That in Your Essay
Girl to guy: You shouldn't be worried about getting into med school. You should be, like, worried about getting alcohol poisoning over the weekend.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: Brent
Categories: Advice | Drinking & drunks | Education | Girls | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2011-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Were Also Squirt Guns!
Girl to another: It was a gay bicycle riders' party, complete with gayish celebration music and lots of champagne corks popping. And by the looks of the constant make-out and groping sessions, I'm pretty sure those bottles weren't the only cylindrical things spewing liquids last night.
Atlanta, Georgia
I Guess That Has Its Positives and Negatives.
Blonde 8th grade girl, reading poster about sex offenders: He assaulted her with a battery?
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: shay loves julia
Not As Much As Spencer from The Hills, But Close.
20-something girl: You know, slavery just bugs me.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: just a bug
Categories: Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2011-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, It's a Shit Party in Your Pants, Dude
Girl at party: For the last time: I am not interested in you. You're too short, too fat and too drunk!
Guy, defiantly: I'm not drunk! If I was drunk, I wouldn't think you were so fucking ugly!
(girl storms off angrily)
Guy, to himself: It's a shit party when the ugliest bitch at the party ain't a sure thing!!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Scotty
Will You Put Your Hand Down My Pants?
Guy: I will get you anything you want, and I mean anything, if you walk back from lunch with your hand down my pants.
Girl: But we are already walking back from lunch, silly.
Guy: Starting now, if you walk back with your hands down my pants, I will get you anything.
Girl: Anything?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: really?
Categories: Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Sex | Posted 2011-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Buying Shoes Is Your Answer to Everything.
Girl: So then I was like, "I want a otter for my birthday!"
Mom: Hmmm...
Girl: I thought it was so much more realistic than a platypus. They have poisonous heels, you know. My hand would fall off if I picked it up!
Mom: Why don't we just buy it shoes?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Elizabeth
College Guys Have to Be Taught Everything About Pussy
Girl walking through campus: And that's why you can't put a cat in the microwave.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Girls | Pennsylvania | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cunt Remember a Thing
Pretty black girlfriend with super long hair: I have no vaginal memory.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Categories: Black people | Girls | Memory lane | New York | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or I Did Until I Realized How Many Doors It Opens
Girl: I hate those girls that are like, "Oh, look at me, I can dance with my hand in my hair!"
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Well It Works in Her Favor!
Girl: I'm hanging out with Claire today, that's why I can't stay later.
Guy: Is Claire the one with the awesome accent?
Girl: She has a speech impediment.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Leonard
Categories: Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Maladies | Questions | Relationships | Washington | Posted 2011-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When You Thought Comic Book Guy Didn't Exist in Real Life...
Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? "I'm the best even though I'm fat"?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Why Google Exists.
Fashionable girl on cell: Do you think you can catch pink eye from getting poop in your eye?
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Girls | Health & Hygiene | Illinois | On the phone | Poop | Questions | Posted 2011-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And the Law Says I Can't Do That in a Skirt
Teen to mother: Why are you wearing pants?
Mother: Because I gotta get rid of the chilly.
Harrison, Michigan
Overheard by: Lauren
After I Spent All That Time Photoshopping That Dick Into a Pacifier
Freshman girl: Well, like, this was from like 2 am the day it was due. I mean, the first one I submitted was of me with a pacifier in my mouth, and they told me it was inappropriate at the last minute. I mean, like, why couldn't they have told me that in January when I submitted it?
University
Connecticut
Overheard by: You really needed to be told?
Categories: Connecticut | Education | Girls | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gay Marriage Should Be Legalized Just for the Ceremonies
20-something hot girl to friend: He tore off all his clothes, threw him on his back on the bar, then covered his nipples in whipped cream.
Denver, Colorado
If Lifetime Were a Channel for Men
Girl: Oh my gosh, Brian* went off with the sexual predator dude!
Couple, in unison: Bro rape!
Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York
It Said It Needed a Witness for the Lawsuit
Girl to friend going back into lecture hall: But it's just a pen, Kelly!
Friend: I just wanna see where it fell!
Toronto
Canadia
After He Rejected My Floss Bouquet
Girl to friend: I love him. I just want to clean his teeth, I sent him that in a message on MySpace, you know.
Pantages Theatre
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Juicetine
Categories: California | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Relationships | Wishes | Posted 2011-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Just Need to Wring the Vomit Out Of My Shirt, and We Can Go Again
Girl getting off Supreme Scream, to no one in particular: I did it! (lowers voice) And I didn't pee!
Knott's Berry Farm
California
Categories: California | Character | Feelings | Girls | Pee | Posted 2011-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh Honey, I Would Put Your Marlboro Out With My Tongue
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl, handing man money: Go get me a pack of Camels number nine, please.
20-something man: Are you serious? They're going to think I'm fruity. (walks into store, immediately walks back out) I can't buy them. That girl is working.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: I'm sorry, would you like me to buy Marlboro Reds? That's a manlier cigarette.
20-something man: That'd be great. (goes back in and returns with Marlboro Reds): Sorry about that. Uh, if I don't get my type of cigarettes then I think they'd get suspicious.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: You don't even smoke.
Akron, Ohio
...Without Me.
Girl on phone: I was like, "you're already drunk. You're using the death of Osama Bin Laden to get drunk at 10 in the morning."
University of Denver, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Colorado | Death & dying | Drinking & drunks | Girls | On the phone | Posted 2011-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Period.
Girl to friend: All you have to do is say something about menstruation and every man within earshot becomes uncomfortable.
Michigan State University
Categories: Etiquette | Girls | Michigan | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time, Do It in Your Coy, Playful Way!
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did You Shave It?
Girl #1 : I found a bearded dragon in my brothers closet last night!
Girl #2 : A real dragon?
Girl #1 : No, a lizard.
Girl #2 : Oh.
Secondary School
Nanaimo District
Canadia.
I Smell a TV Reality Competition!
Girl to friend: The only way that guy's getting into my pants is if he's a cross-dresser.
Bar
Farmington
Michigan
Overheard by: PeterG
Categories: Character | Girls | Michigan | Philosophy | Sex | Posted 2011-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since Writing Messages in Blood on His Mirror Doesn't Seem to Be Doing the Trick
Girl #1: Oh, whose car do you think it is? Maybe it's his!
Girl #2: Don't hit it!
Girl #1: Or maybe I should. Give us something to talk about. Hey, remember that time I totaled your car?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Advice | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Like, "Eh, I'll Make More"
Girl: I've heard that woman over there is giving away some of her kids.
Campinas
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Family ties | Girls | Parenting | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seems to Be a Common Theme
Girl to friend, while going to the bathroom: During that time of the month, I pee out of my butthole.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: weird, I normally just sneeze out of my eyes
Categories: Ass | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pee | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Called "Sex," Alyssa.
Girl on cell: What did you do to my widgets last night?
Rhodes University
South Africa
So, All in All, It Was a Successful Party.
Girl: I look retarded!
Guy: My balls hurt.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Which He Clearly Doesn't Have.
Girl #1: Jimmy Kimmel has narcolepsy.
Boy: Is that the one where you read from right to left?
Girl #2: No, that's Hebrew.
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kate
They Also Don't Understand How to Properly Complain About It
Girl: So I booked my cruise and my trip to Florida in the same week. People who aren't Jewish don't understand that going to Florida is not a luxury anymore.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by: second cup
Categories: Geography | Girls | Jews | Money | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2011-05-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Marlon Brando's Dream Would One Day Be Realized.
Girl, pulling bills from strapless dress: Yeah! They's my stripper dollars.
Boy: Man! Sure wish I had titties!
Portland, Oregon
Masturman Rarely Dates
Guy: We're talking heroic amounts of porn.
Girl, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, what?
Guy: What?
Girl: How is "heroic" a unit of measurement?
Guy: No. I mean: if you met the guy, he'd be your hero.
Girl, still laughing, walking away: I can't.
Connecticut
Overheard by: LunaFish
Lucky!
Girl #1: Hey, are you going to use the bathroom?
Girl #2: Oh, no... I have a urinary tract infection, so I can't pee.
Loyola University
Chicago, Illinois
How Many Things Are Wrong With This Quote? Show Your Work.
Guy: Ohmigod, you don't look Jewish, I wouldn't have known if you didn't tell me.
Girl: Awww, thanks!
Guy: So what are you doing for the holidays?
Girl: Christmas isn't about Jesus...
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bernadette
Categories: Christianity | Girls | Guys | Holidays | Jesus | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2011-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Meet the "Bad Companions" Your Mother Warned You About
Barefoot girl in red dress: Oh my god, what are we doing?!
Girl with partially shaved head and blue sweater: We're... (dodges car) We're running into traffic.
Melbourne
Australia
Reruns Of House *Count* As "Research," Right?
Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say "according to my research." (shrugs, laughs hysterically)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Bragging | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Education | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2011-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Americans Mistakenly Believe Silence Can Be Improved Upon
Russian girl: When I read in Russian, nothing can stop me. But when I read in English, I need silence.
American girl: That's what the music is for!
Train
Moscow to Nizhniy Novgorod
Russia
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
David Arquette Loves Visiting the U.K.
Quiet, intense, plain chubby girl to skinny guy with child-molester mustache: When you fuck me, choke me.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Blee
Categories: England | Fat people | Girls | Offers and requests | Sensory experiences | Sex | Posted 2011-05-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why People Hate Tequila in the Morning, Encapsulated.
Drunk girl: Look! I have salt stains all over my pants. I'm a car.
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Do You Have to Ask Me That with Your Top Off?
Girl to friends, on third night of semester: Wouldn't you want to have sex the second night back?
Fitchburg State University
Fitchburg, Massachusetts
Categories: Girls | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | Questions | Sex | Posted 2011-05-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family
Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don't use nuclear power against zombies! They're already dead, so they can't get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it's just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!
Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Amred
Categories: About celebrities | Animals | Girls | Guys | New Mexico | Stupidity | Zombies | Posted 2011-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...He's a Keeper, Abby!
Girl #1: And like, he gets me so drunk that when I get off I barf!
Girl #2: Wow!
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: Chiz
Categories: Canadia | Drinking & drunks | Getting off | Girls | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-05-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Watch Your Tongue, Missy!
Guy: I'm not sure that rocking up and offering cunnilingus is going to help my cause.
Girl: Worth a try, though...
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Tomorrow's Lessons: What About Bob? and Chasing Amy
Girl #1: Oh, Kill Bill is on this week!
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I wanna watch that. I think I'd really like it. I really like martial arts films.
(pause)
Girl #1: So, is Bill the name of the guy she wants to kill?
Girl #2, incredulous: Uh-huh.
Perth
Australia
A Gentleman Doesn't Make You Bleed 'til the Third Date
Stoned girl at party: I don't think I'm gonna call him back, he was fingering me in pretty rapey way.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Druggies | England | Girls | Masturbation | Sensory experiences | Violence | Posted 2011-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jason's Pick-Up Strategy Is Full Of Holes
Drunk frat boy, yelling to group: Is it someone's birthday?
Cute girl: Yeah! Mine!
Drunk frat boy: How old are you? 19?
Girl: 22.
Drunk frat boy: Oh, I was confused. I was wondering how you could have gotten so drunk if you were 19.
Girl: We're not drunk.
Drunk frat boy: Oh. Well, we are!
Mini Golf Course
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Categories: Age and ageing | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Frat boy types | Girls | Minnesota | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-05-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Love This Game!
Chick: Guess who's a lesbian couple again instead of creepy incest twins!
Washington Monument
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Girls | Leisure | Sexuality | Washington, DC | Weirdness | Posted 2011-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To the Muffmobile, Robin!
Girl on bike #1, over her shoulder: Crotchless panties!
Girl on bike #2: Crotchless panties?
Girl on bike #1: Crotchless panties!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
...If It's Anything Like How They Grow Jelly Donuts.
Girl #1: Oh, it looks like you are registered for the jelly belly factory tour.
Girl #2: Is there anything else? I don't really care how they grow jelly beans.
Davis, California
Overheard by: PhillyKid
Categories: California | Food | Girls | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2011-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Did I Enjoy It?
Hot girl: Wait, we just had sex?
Hot guy: We just finished having sex like five minutes ago, do you not remember any of it?
Hot girl: Nope.
Hot guy: Actually, we just finished like thirty seconds ago...
Oxford
England
Um, I'm Brianna.
High school girl #1: Hey, I'm really sorry for teasing you before. I'm usually really sweet!
High school girl #2, mumbling: That's okay.
High school girl #1: Not Brianna, though, she's a total bitch!
High School
Overheard by: stuck in the bathroom stall next to you
Categories: Character | Girls | Gossip | Insults | Overheard in High School | Posted 2011-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What? I'm Not Proud Of Myself!
Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Girls | Memory lane | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Posted 2011-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Oh, That. Subway, Why?
Girl, after hugging friend: Um, why do you smell like a scrotum?
Guy: Wait, what?
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Guys | New York | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Because I Just Spent a Summer with the Peace Corps Doing That?
Pretty girl to boy: How is bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog not on your to-do list?
Fairfield High School
Fairfield, Connecticut
Categories: Animals | Character | Connecticut | Girls | Questions | Posted 2011-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only One Of Us Actually Uses Our Noodle.
Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.
Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Layla
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oooh, Could He Be the Swedish Chef?
Girl to guy: Okay, okay. You can play the waitress, and I'll play the creepy chef who's always trying to rape the waitresses.
Oslo
Norway
Categories: Europe | Girls | Offers and requests | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Preferably That Squirmy, Hairless Guy in the Back Row.
Dumb freshman girl: Why does being castrated make your voice high?
Friar professor: Talk to someone after class.
Seattle University
Washington
Overheard by: facepalm
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Questions | Teachers | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Won't Feel a Thing, I Promise
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Drunks | England | Girls | Offers and requests | Philosophy | Posted 2011-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Aren't You Glad We Can Talk Like This?
Girl: Woah, when did you get here?
Boy: Everywhere.
Girl: I asked when.
Boy: Oh. Uh. All the time.
Spokane, Washington
Categories: Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Questions | Stupidity | Washington | Posted 2011-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Utah Produces Only Two Kinds Of Girls
Girl #1: Wait, you said no?! Did you know he's pre-med?
Girl #2: Yeah, but I don't really like him.
Girl #1: So?
Orem, Utah
I Told You the Whole Rugby Team Wouldn't Fit.
Youngish girl to pair of friends: My vagina is ruined after last night.
Melbourne
Australia
...Ever See Crouching Vibrator, Hidden Weapon?
Teenage girl, on self defense: I think that 'bob' really works. People know I'm not messing around when they get my dildo thrown at them.
Hillsboro, Oregon
Overheard by: Hannah
Queen Latifah Never Looked Back
Black girl in workout clothes: So I googled it.
Overweight friend: Googled what?
Black girl in workout clothes: The human skeleton is 20% of your body weight.
Overweight friend: So what?
Black girl in workout clothes: Sooo... Without that, I only weigh like a hundred pounds or something.
Overweight friend: (confused look)
Black girl in workout clothes: I'm just saying I'm not fat anymore.
Michigan
Overheard by: It's that simple?
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Fat people | Girls | Michigan | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Summary, Never Pick Your Nose With Your Thumbnail
Coed to another: It's someone picking their nose... but in the thumbnail it looked like a penis
SUNY
New Paltz, New York
Categories: Girls | New York | Penis | Sensory experiences | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Take It Down If Either Of You Ever Wants a Job
Girl #1 on Facebook: And then I gave my mom a lap dance.
Girl #2, looking at pictures: It looks like she was enjoying it.
UMass
Dartmouth, Massachusetts
Categories: Dancing | Family ties | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
First Time in Massachusetts, Sweetie?
Black girl, after seeing renaissance a cappella group rehearsing: White people be doing the most ridiculous things! No offense...
Williams College
Williamstown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: None taken
Categories: Black people | Girls | Massachusetts | Music | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't Talk. Orgasming.
Girl hottie: Do they give out medals for chronic female masturbators? Because if so... (points to self with thumbs) Super star. I'm talking gold medal, national treasure.
Guy hottie: You're not deterring me! We're getting turkey bacon!
Wegmans
New York
Overheard by: Bronze Medalist
When Yonkers Girls Make a Sexual Availability Statement
Roller girl: Whoa! That's a vagina you could accidentally fist.
Yonkers, New York
Categories: Girls | Masturbation | New York | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even Though They Put the "Ass" in Potassium?
Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant...
College
Rock Island, Illinois
Overheard by: I like bananas....
You Said You Loved My Steak Fry With the Skin on
Guy: Man, there's too much ketchup on my plate, it looks like my fries committed suicide.
Girl: I often think about that before I stick you in my mouth, too.
Guy: Fuck off , Andrea.
Northern Alabama
I'm So Glad We Can Talk Like This
Girl #1, sitting on couch: I hate it when people sit on chairs that are facing me. It's irritating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I hate it too. There are other places they can sit.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: girl sitting on chair facing you
Categories: Character | Feelings | Girls | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2011-02-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight's Movie: 2 Fast 2 Delicious
Girl on cell: Not only did she steal my car, she ate the fucking cupcakes!
Southern Connecticut State University
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Feelings | Food | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Posted 2011-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Even Get Them Started on the Pussy Products.
Little girl: Can I have the nose now?
Guy: Yeah, sure, it probably has everyone's snot on it now, though.
Older girl: Ew! Oh my gosh, mental image!
Guy: What do you want me to say? I'm speaking their language.
Older girl: Say "nose... products." It has "nose products."
Guy, laughing hysterically: Nose products?
Older girl: Yes, nose products.
Little girl, holding out fake vampire teeth: Here, take my mouth products.
Kids' Playground
Manhattan, New York
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Language barrier | New York | Questions | Posted 2011-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Translation: "No Big Bang Tonight."
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Why don't we try to use the formula for finding the location of two galaxies next to one another?
Hipster boy in ironic winter hat: Why would we do that? We're trying to find the age of the universe. You're the worst partner ever.
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Fuck you, I'm going to find the age of the universe on my own!
Undergraduate Library
University of Michigan
Overheard by: Todd
The FDA Says I Have To
20-something hot girl on cell: I was going to sleep with you, until you said "is this a good idea?"
New Jersey
Overheard by: kiera
Categories: Feelings | Girls | New Jersey | On the phone | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2011-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Haven't Lived 'Til You've Seen Me Applaud with Them.
Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice...
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.
Manhattan, New York
I Recommend Suicide
Girl to friend: You know, you're the kind of person who, if you blew a bubble, I would pop it in your face.
UCLA
Westwood, California
Categories: California | Character | Clothing | Compliments | Girls | Posted 2011-01-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Limit Themselves to Christian Side Hugs, Like We Do
Guy: Well, the Republican party is doing that right now.
Easily offended girl: I don't generalize!
Guy: Well then, what about homosexuality?
Easily offended girl: Oh, they should all burn in hell!
West Texas A&M University
Actually, I Think He Went to Columbia University
Girl #1: One time, this Colombian dude was hitting on me...
Girl #2, interrupting: What? Like from Columbia, Missouri?
Girl #1: No. This country--he was like Arab or something.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: A.
The Right Tool for the Job, and So Forth
Roller girl: So you either need a lesbian or a bearing press.
Yonkers, New York
To Be Fair, His Vision Has Never Been Better!
Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Animals | Food | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2011-01-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Escalator to Hell Is Paved With Starbucks Cups
Gay guy going up escalator to girl going down with coffee: You know you're not supposed to have drinks on the metro.
Girl with coffee: Okay, then take it for me. (he refuses, she calls up to him) Take it! Take it! I'm not supposed to have it! What will I do!?
Metro Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Etiquette | Gays | Girls | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Washington, DC | Posted 2011-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Santa Sure Has Changed Over the Years.
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Categories: Animals | Compliments | Friends | Girls | New Hampshire | Sexuality | Smoking | Posted 2011-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then at Least Invite Me, Next Time
Brunette to blonde: Stop being such a slut!
Blonde: No can do, bitch!
Williamsburg, Virginia
You're Lucky You Have Me, Melina
Guy: If you had to suck a bag of dicks, would you want them to be hard or soft?
Girl: Soft! So I can fit them all in my mouth.
Guy: Well, I'd rather have them erect.
Girl: Oh! Uh. Why?
Guy: Cause there'd be less dicks in the bag.
Girl: What?! Why didn't I think of that?! Now I just sound like a whore!
Guy: You are.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
...The Golden Retriever Did What with the Banana?
Girl: So... How did your sex tape go?
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: AJ
What the Fuck Is Going on in Leamington Spa??
20-something drunk girl, pointing at traffic lights, to friends: Shhhh! We have to be quiet! This is where the dwarf lives!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Lesbian Girl Scouts Are Always Prepared
Woman, trying to hush crying baby: Shhhhh... It's okay.
College girl: Ma'am, I am prepared to set fire to your child.
Parkersburg, West Virginia
Yada Yada Yada, I'm Not Allowed Back Next Semester.
Female college girl: She asked me "what's a vagina?"
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Girls | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
America: Encapsulated.
Plus-size girl looking at maternity shirt: Oh, this is cute! (pause) It will hide my fat rolls!
JC Penney
Wichita, Kansas
Categories: Beauty | Body parts | Clothes | Fat people | Girls | Kansas | Shopping | Posted 2010-12-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But How Does That Bible Verse Go Again?
Girl: It wasn't "fuck you," specifically...
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Stupid Christian University
Girl, in random outburst: I am never going to sleep with you!
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
There Were Complaints About My Moaning
Girl: My boobs are fun to play with.
Guy: You're just now figuring this out, after 30-some years?
Girl: Hey, I haven't had my boobs that long!
Guy: Okay, 20-some years?
Girl: No, I remember discovering they were fun in the 6th grade. I was in the middle of class, though, so that was kind of awkward.
Denver, Colorado
Just Don't Ask Me to Ride Your Pinta
Girl: So, while fixing the leak, you may discover something else?
50-year old mechanic, grinning and nodding: I am Columbus.
Auto Body Shop
Lanham, Maryland
Overheard by: Jen
Now What Makes It Cold?
Teen girl to friend: It's called "iced tea." It tastes like tea, but it's cold.
Green Line Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rob
Categories: Diet & weight | Girls | Massachusetts | Sensory experiences | Words | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, to Be Fair, I Borrowed Them from Some Girl on the Bus
Girl #1: So, I wore your underwear the other day.
Girl #2: Well, at least they were clean. I just washed them.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: mitch
Categories: Education | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Undies | Posted 2010-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Once Tried to Chew a Bathroom Tile and Ended Up in the Hospital for a Week
Girl to friends: Is butter a mineral? I can't eat minerals.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Actually I think it's a vegetable
William Shatner's Still Got It!
Student girl in beige Uggs: So, who was that guy you were with last night?
Student girl in brown Uggs: Ugh, well I don't actually know his real name, I just call him Captain Kirk, because he kinda looks like him, y'know?
Leeds
England
Categories: About celebrities | England | Girls | Names | Sex | Posted 2010-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Campaign Would Be Like Whoopi Goldberg's Marriage to Ted Danson
Very white English major girl: I could never be a politician. I'd be all like "bitch, you're trippin' balls. Sit yo' fat toupeed ass down!"
Universisty Station
Calgary
Canadia
Everyone Wants Into My Oval Office
Girl to another: If I end up having gotten knocked up during the presidential debates, I'm going to be fucking pissed.
Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Whereas Mine Is Much More Of a Peeing Plum
Girl, smelling another girl's hair: You're right! It does smell like a sweaty peach.
Australia
Categories: Australia | Fruit | Girls | Hair | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Corvette?
Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
I Always Thought She Seemed a Bit Fuzzy for a Girl
Girl student: Her family is so weird.
Guy student: How so?
Girl student: Her dad, like, goes in her backyard and catches squirrels.
Guy student, after long pause: Wait, what does he do with them?
Girl student: Raises them?
Starbucks
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Ashlie
Or Renée Zellweger?
Drunk Asian kid entering kitchen at party: I just went to use the bathroom, but there was some weird Asian girl waiting outside the door.
Sober, bitter girl: Are you sure it wasn't just a mirror?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: bitter girl's roommate
Categories: Asians | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Stupidity | Posted 2010-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is It Wrong That We Kinda Do?
Drunk girl: So, I wrote a folk song about Christopher Reeves. Post-paralysis, pre-death. So, it's not quite as depressing. Wanna hear it?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: uhhh yes
Categories: Drunks | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Minneapolis | Singing | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well It Is Exactly Nine Months Before Labor Day.
Tall girl: What is this? Let's-all-jump-Jennifer-and-get-her-pregnant Day?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Julianna
Categories: Girls | Pregnancy | Questions | Violence | Washington | Posted 2010-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because This Is New Jersey, Bitch!
Girl #1, discussing her boobs: I have lemons! What do you have?
Girl #2: Shit, I have watermelons.
Girl #3, grabbing her own boobs: I have cantaloupes.
Girl #1: Why are you grabbing your cantaloupes?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Euphemisms | Fruit | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2010-11-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Editors Could Also Use a Cup Of Java
Ditzy cute girl: Look at the clouds! They're blue!
Friend, deadpan: You mean the sky.
Ditzy cute girl: Yeah! Ohmigod, kittensssss!
Jakarta
Indonesia
Overheard by: I only want my coffee
Strawberry Shortcake and the Purple Pieman Never Quite Saw Eye-to-eye
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: I don't have change, but I do have this muffin.
Hobo: Can't buy no weed with a muffin!
Boston, Massachusetts
In Cambridge? Perish the Thought.
Girl to friend: We're under a bridge! I feel like a crack dealer.
Midsummer Common
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Anti-Math
He's Got Bette Davis Thighs
Girl, about guy in Jason Vorhees mask coming on stage during Halloween skit: I always recognize James* by his thighs.
St. Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Body parts | Girls | Holidays | New Jersey | Pop culture | Posted 2010-11-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
NewsFlash: Tim Burton Slated to Direct Next Bring It On! Movie
Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put "eat it" by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah... But you can eat cheerleaders.
High School
Kansas
Just for Coffee, Not for Abduction
Girl eating pizza to friends: Like, do I want to meet aliens? Yes!
Pizza Place
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Felicity
I Blame Our Science Teacher for Your Potassium Fetish
Wannabe scene chick on phone: I drew another picture for you. There's a banana involved again. (pause) You and your bananas!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Categories: Body parts | Food | Girls | On the phone | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until Nine Months from Now, When I Give Birth to a Child I'll Name "Brie"
Girl on cell: I was about to go home, so I told Bob* to get the cheese because I'd brought it over so George* coud make a cheesy bagel, right? So Bob* brings me the cheese but then he starts massaging my back, and I fall asleep with the cheese. I wake up like a half hour later and he's doing it to me, so I grab the cheese, say goodnight, and leave. And after that, whenever I saw someone eat a piece of that cheese I felt sooo weird. But now it's all eaten, the evidence is gone, and what that cheese witnessed will never be revealed.
Outside Westfield Mall
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Food | Girls | On the phone | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2010-11-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grandma Does Have Her Own Fragrance Line
Sentimental girl, about her grandmother: She went all loopy last time!
Comforting friend: No, I am sure she'll be alright.
Sentimental girl: Last time she thought she lived with David Beckham!
East London
England
Overheard by: Luna
Categories: About celebrities | Age and ageing | Friends | Girls | UK | Wishes | Posted 2010-11-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A New Grammar Book by Tyra Banks
Drunk girl in bar: Dammit, bitch! Talk legible!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: James
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Drunks | Girls | Insults | Language barrier | Tennessee | Posted 2010-10-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens When You Only Let Your Kids Read ee cummings
Girl #1: Oh my god! At work today, the kids had to write stories and they are the worst writers ever! One kid had an entire paragraph with no periods, and a bunch of them were capitalizing days of the week and stuff. It was awful.
Girl #2: You're supposed to capitalize days of the week.
Girl #1, in embarrassed awe: No! You're kidding, right? I told them they weren't supposed to...
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lauren
Categories: Compare and contrast | Education | Girls | Kids | Overheard in PDX | Stupidity | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ad: Kathleen Turner Is... Bendy Vadge, P.I.!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy on train: Dude, I totally saw Melissa pee standing up before.
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: That is impossible! Seriously, that doesn't even make any sense! You'd get piss all over your leg!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: No way, I saw her just take one leg out of her pants and prop it up against a tree, and it just shot down! She didn't get any anywhere!
Loud, stoned, drunk girl: Do you even understand female anatomy?! It doesn't work the same way as you! We can't do that! Melissa didn't do that!
Loud, stoned, drunk guy: Dude, if you can't pee standing up, then you've just got a bendy vag.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wizzbiff
Categories: Body parts | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Girls | Guys | Illinois | Pee | Stoners | Train | Vagina | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Disapprove Of Their Relationship
Guy: I was really pissed off. Then you bit me on the shoulder. Three times.
Girl: (laughs hysterically)
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Peon
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Girls | Guys | Illinois | Violence | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Just Drew a Bunch Of Unicorns on the Test Paper and Handed It In
Girl on cell: They had Greenland and Iceland on the test. (pause) Yeah, apparently they're two different things. (pause) I dunno, Greenland is the cold one, or something. (pause) Yeah, I think it was unfair, too.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ginger
Categories: Education | Geography | Girls | Massachusetts | On the phone | Stupidity | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Since Daddy Officially Took the T-Bird Away
Boy: Let's play Heads Up, Seven Up!
Girl #1: Let's play Around the World!
Girl #2: Let's play Mum Ball!
Boy: Let's all play Strip Solitaire!
Teacher: I told you: there's no fun allowed in here!
Penn Yan Academy
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Categories: Education | Girls | Guys | New York | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Summer's Eve Merged with The Learning Channel
Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | Pennsylvania | Questions | Posted 2010-10-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are These Heels Clear? I Don't Think So!
Girl #1 to friend wearing tank top, booty shoes, and 3-inch heels: Girl, I don't know what they be sayin. You do not look like no hoe.
Girl #2, passing by, to friend: Hoe.
High School
Washington State
Categories: Clothing | Compare and contrast | Friends | Girls | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Washington | Posted 2010-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You a Happy Cramper?
Girl, bursting into meeting: I just caught my period, yo!
Administrator, looking up: Congratulations?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Me
Categories: Bosses | Girls | Health & Hygiene | New York | Weirdness | Posted 2010-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...As My Grandma Knitted on a Little Pillow.
Girl: First, string cheese. Then masturbation!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Masturbation | New Jersey | Time Management | Posted 2010-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Mick Jagger's So Old
Drunk girl at party: I want to hang off his lips until I die!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Death & dying | Drunks | Girls | Mouth | Washington | Wishes | Posted 2010-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Guys See Life Itself As a Huge Taco Party
Guy: What are you all doing?
Teen girl #1, waving taco: We're having a taco party.
Teen girl #2: Taco party!
Guy: Awesome! Keep on keeping on!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: I want a Taco Party
"Tulsa" Spelled Backwards Is "a Slut"-- Coincidence?
Teen girl to friend: I'm too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Tonight on How I Met Your Motherfucker
Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Drunks | England | Girls | Guys | Insults | Offers and requests | Sex | Posted 2010-09-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But She Once Wore a Paper Sombrero and Sang "La Bamba" at the School Pageant
Native American girl: Yeah, when I was in kindergarten, I was the only Mexican in class. Well, except for Reema. She's Lebanese.
High School
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Education | Geography | Girls | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Stupidity | Posted 2010-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every. Single. One.
Girl: So do you just know everyone because you're... (pauses awkwardly)
Guy: Yeah. Well, everyone in New York is Jewish, so that's how I know them all.
Portland, Oregon
You're So Deep, Monica.
Coffee shop girl: A pig is, like, a monkey's best friend.
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: Evan
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Girls | Montana | Relationships | Posted 2010-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Magic Mushrooms Came to Oklahoma City
Girl #1: I hallucinated that you and my boyfriend had sex in the spirit world! I think I hallucinated I was using an umbrella in the shower this morning.
Girl #2: Uh. No... Sorry, I found one in our shower.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
One's a Very Black Sheep, Indeed
Southern belle: I basically have two brothers. Well, no, I have three. Basically three brothers.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: John S.
Categories: Family ties | Girls | Science | South Carolina | Posted 2010-09-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Two Girls, One Pop-Pop Did Not End Well
Girl #1: I'd totally tap your grandpa!
Girl #2: Thanks?
Girl #1: You're welcome!
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Family ties | Girls | Sex | Posted 2010-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Their Relationship Is Sweet but Sticky
Guy: I bet you taste like cotton candy. (pause) Is it okay, sometime, if I'm hungry, if I take a little nibble...
Girl: No!
Bellingham, Washington
Categories: Candy | Compare and contrast | Girls | Guys | Sensory experiences | Washington | Posted 2010-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just the Classy Ones.
Girl to another: I had to just say, like, not every girl wants a photo of your asshole.
MusicFest
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Stretchen
Categories: Ass | Girls | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Ooo, There's That Smell Again!
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.
College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Food | Girls | Guys | Insults | New Mexico | Sensory experiences | Stupidity | Posted 2010-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...They Turned Him Into a Wind Instrument!
Hipster guy to two girls with horrified looks on their faces: So it had been like a zit or a boil when he was seventeen, but because it never got treated... There was, like, a tunnel, and then... (passes out of earshot)
The Danforth
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: wondering what the hell came after the tunnel
Categories: Age and ageing | Canadia | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Hipsters | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is This Quote Culinary Erotica? Discuss.
Girl #1: I don't know if I want cookie dough, I'd rather make cookies.
Girl #2: Oh, man. It's totally carnal, the things I wanna do to that cookie dough. I want it on my face.
(five minutes later)
Girl #1: Okay, I want some cookie dough.
Girl #2: I thought you didn't want any!
Girl #1: You gave such a rave review of the cookie dough on your face that I entertained the possibility that I, too, might want it on my face.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisa
Categories: Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2010-09-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Smell the Plot Of a New Indiana Jones Movie!
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut...
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Girls | Names | Suits | Weirdness | Posted 2010-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook