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Ooo, and He Could Design My Dress!
Girl #1, listening to John Denver: This is a great song. Especially if you're gay. You should have this at your wedding.
Girl #2: Well, if I marry a gay guy, it'll be great.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Fag hags | Family ties | Music | Pennsylvania | Relationships | Posted 2010-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Gay Men Aren't the Target Demograpic for That?
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good...
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
Categories: Fag hags | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Licking | Queers | San Francisco | Sex | Sexuality | Vagina | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop Wearing That Lavender Perfume and We'll Revisit the Issue, Okay?
20-something girl to gay male friend: It really creeps me out when you call me "grandma" when we do drugs together.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: MuffinW
Categories: California | Drugs | Fag hags | Family ties | Names | Queers | Posted 2010-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Says the Woman Who Has a Crush on Those Twins in The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody?
Queer dad at the back of the line: Ohmigod! There's Rebeca, from cheerleading.
Woman friend: Oh yeah! I hate her, she's so perky.
Queer dad: And irresponsible, she always leaves her kids on the car when she goes anywhere.
Woman: Oh, really?
Queer dad: I mean, who leaves a top of the line Escalade with a smoking hot nine-year-old idling in the parking lot? Especially in this neighborhood!
Woman dad: That is so wrong!
Queer dad: I know!
Woman: No, that you said "smoking" hot nine-year-old.
Queer dad: Oh...
Dunkin Donuts
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Billy Splatts!
It's Not Their Worlds I Want to Enter
Girl: So I think he's taken our relationship a step further.
Gay friend: Oh! What, did he ask you out?
Girl: No.
Gay friend: Did he finally tell you he likes you?
Girl: No! Nothing like that.
Gay friend: Then what?
Girl: He started talking to me exclusively in D&D jargon!
Gay friend: See, this is why we have different tastes in men.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Doesn't play D&D
Categories: Compare and contrast | Fag hags | Games | Queers | Relationships | Vermont | Words | Posted 2010-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...I Was Thinking Of a Nice Outing to Pottery Barn.
Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I'm gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin'.
Straight friend: Uhhh.
Bangkok
Thailand
That Hamster Was Extremely Sooty
Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican...
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i don't like water
So What If It Was During an Airport Body-Cavity Search?
Fag hag, about friend's boyfriend: Well, at least he has a nice guitar.
Fag: No one notices a guy's guitar on the first date...except maybe you.
Fag hag: Hey, at least someone fingered my g-string recently.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Ari
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Fag hags | Florida | Gays | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2009-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are Those Fangs on the Clasp?
Girl: So, my boyfriend couldn't take off my bra. I told him I'd wear the front-clasp one next time. He was like, 'I don't want your pity bra!' Wanna try?
Queer pal, trying to remove bra: Oh my god! This is not a pity bra! This is the meanest bra in the whole world!
Montreal
Canadia
Just Dip It in the Jar, Dude!
Queer: Wouldn't it be great if penises tasted like Nutella?
Fag hag: Unfortunately, oral sex doesn't give you an evolutionary advantage, so we'll probably never evolve that way.
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: premed
The Trick Is Finding a Cobbler Who'll Do the Repairs
Queer: So, that pretty much sums it up.
Fag hag: Wow.
Queer: It's actually pretty usual for gays, I'm just not into it.
Fag hag: Wow. I am so scared of gay men right now.
Queer: Sweetie, it's not like a hamster wearing galoshes is [bus goes by so rest is inaudible].
Fag hag: Like summer camp.
Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida
That, New Stockings, and a Clean Umbrella
Fag hag: So, I fell asleep when Jack* was stripping, and when I woke up Victor* was in pink stockings and doing something to my umbrella that I don't even want to think about. I really have to start having more straight friends.
Bar
São Paulo
Brazil
That, and the Jar of Lube He Keeps Waving Around
Queer: Oh my god, did you see Andy in that hat?
Fag hag: Yeah!
Queer: Doesn't he know that a cowboy hat that big is an unequivocal call for anal sex?
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Fag hags | Fashion | Queers | Posted 2007-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
