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Acute Infection's Not All That Cute
Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy... There was blood everywhere.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
The Original Screenplay for Waiting to Exhale Left Something to Be Desired
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo' sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Gays | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Smoking | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Call Me Tweedle Diva
Fat black chick: Yo, real women got curves, nigga.
Black queer: Yeah, bitch, curves. You only got one big curve! (traces circle in air)
Bus
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Dropper of Eaves
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Bragging | Comebacks | Florida | Gays | Posted 2011-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Being Gay Might Be the Only Cool Thing He Has Going for Him
30-something gay man to friend: I don't know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Peter Piper
Categories: Gays | Gossip | Jobs & Careers | Michigan | Sexuality | Posted 2011-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Dad Always Dreamed I'd Say That to a Lady
Gay dressing room associate: Did you find everything alright today?
Attractive female shopper: Everything except a pair of pants.
Gay dressing room associate: We'll just have to find you a pair, then.
Attractive female shopper: No, that's alright. The pants here never fit me correctly.
Gay dressing room associate: Well, I'll see if I can't fit you in my pants.
Attractive female shopper: Wait... What?
Banana Republic
Marin, California
You Haven't Lived 'Til You've Seen Me Applaud with Them.
Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice...
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.
Manhattan, New York
No Gay Man Has Ever Seen RoboCop
Middle aged gay man on cell: Mother, stop making excuses. You chose to live in a government hellhole named Canada. You could have gone somewhere like Detroit, but nooooo...
Starbucks
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Family ties | Gays | Geography | On the phone | Pity | Posted 2011-01-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Escalator to Hell Is Paved With Starbucks Cups
Gay guy going up escalator to girl going down with coffee: You know you're not supposed to have drinks on the metro.
Girl with coffee: Okay, then take it for me. (he refuses, she calls up to him) Take it! Take it! I'm not supposed to have it! What will I do!?
Metro Station
Washington, DC
Categories: Etiquette | Gays | Girls | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Washington, DC | Posted 2011-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Bitch Stole My Louis Vuitton Luggage and Skipped Town
Flamboyant gay dude: I'm trying to get in touch with my inner prostitute.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: not buying
Categories: Feelings | Gays | Gender issues | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So What If It Was During an Airport Body-Cavity Search?
Fag hag, about friend's boyfriend: Well, at least he has a nice guitar.
Fag: No one notices a guy's guitar on the first date...except maybe you.
Fag hag: Hey, at least someone fingered my g-string recently.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Ari
Categories: Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Fag hags | Florida | Gays | Relationships | Sexuality | Posted 2009-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like Sand on the Beach, So Are the Balls Of Our Lives
Gay #1: One guy likes to have his junk stepped on, but no punches in them.
Gay #2: Ow!
Gay #1: I don't like balls in my toes, though.
Gay #2: Just think of it as sand on a beach!
Starbucks
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Scott
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Gays | Massachusetts | Penis | Restaurants | Posted 2009-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Until He Discovered Super Princess Peach
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: I call Princess Peach!
Amused female employee #1: Be gayer, dude.
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: That was it. I don't think I can get any gayer.
Amused female employee #2: Yeah, he just plateaued.
Ottawa
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Default | Employees | Gays | Girls | Pop culture | Sexuality | Posted 2009-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm All About Buster Brown Collars
Gay professor: Yeah, so running through these questions should go a little more smoothly this time around. I looked around for what was causing it to go so slow last time, and I realized that there are disadvantages to letting your 14-year-old take your laptop to Tahoe for the weekend. I mean, really--how much lesbian porn can three teenage boys download? (class laughs) So, uh. If anything pops up, you know who to blame. I mean, it certainly isn't my secret fetish.
San Francisco State University, California
Overheard by: It isn't mine, either.
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gays | Porn | Questions | Sexuality | Teachers | Technology | Weirdness | Posted 2009-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Began to Feel Like a Sundae
Possibly gay barista: Caramel.
Trailer park barista: Car-mel.
Possibly gay barista: Car-a-mel.
Trailer park barista: That used to drive me nuts when I used to work here.
Robot Lodge, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Coffee Lurker
Just a Little Bit Shot!
Gay friend: I wish him the best in all his endeavors, and whatever his life is like now... But I hope he gets shot when he comes out here to Mardi Gras.
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Death & dying | Default | Gays | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Yiddish for "a Moment"?
Tall gay 20-something male on cell: My niece died. I need a Fresca.
CVS
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Death & dying | Drinking & drunks | Family ties | Feelings | Gays | Guys | Massachusetts | On the phone | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Season's Most Unlikely Love Story
Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I'd be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well... I'd make you stop every thirteen kills.
Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: Bunnee
The First Time in History a Bang from Behind Has Resulted in Pregnancy
Middle-aged guy: Yeah, I've been in a couple of accidents before. One time this lady rear-ended me out of nowhere.
Middle-aged woman: Did you sue her?
Middle-aged guy: Of course I did. How do you think we paid for in-vitro?
Newark Airtrain, New Jersey
