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I'm Not Pregnant!
Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than... wait, what?!
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
If He Inquires, Just Say "It's Because You're So Big"
American backpacker girl, about her new hostel boyfriend: So, as of this afternoon, he's one step closer to not being a virgin.
Dutch girl, shocked: What about your period?!
American friend, walking up: Don't worry. Just do it. He won't even know what's going on anyways.
Loki Hostel
La Paz
Bolivia
Categories: Default | Foreigners | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Sexuality | South America | Tourists | Virginity | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean I Have a Case of the Cups
American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I've been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!
3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Food | Foreigners | Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Think We All Know What Happened with Monica and That Cigar
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Categories: Advice | Black people | Compare and contrast | Education | Euphemisms | Foreigners | Mississippi | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Americans Have Always Been More Interested in Style Than in Content
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn't have been more than eight, say "bitches and hoes."
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: ... No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Education | Etiquette | Foreigners | Insults | Kids | Offers and requests | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Case You Were Wondering
American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn't escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Foreigners | Geography | Guys | History | Illinois | Politics | Words | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gosh, That Was a Fun Baptism.
Big Italian guy holding a putter: Man, the last time I had one of these was to beat someone up!
Lumberjack Mini Golf
Lake George, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Default | Foreigners | Guys | New York | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Is Correct.
Teacher: Did you hear Germany got a new polar bear?
German exchange student: Shiza!
Guy: What's wrong with polar bears?
German exchange student: Ugh... You have no idea.
Grady High School
Atlanta, Georgia
An Old Russian Idiom for "I Love You"
Old Russian man, gesturing: My little finger is bigger than my father's loin.
Bread & Chocolate
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: LizWasStunned
Categories: Body parts | Family ties | Foreigners | Virginia | Posted 2008-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Jack Got in the Box
Scottish woman to bald Brit: If you get her number, I'm buying you a bed-in-a-bag.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Both Make You Slightly Ill -- You'll Feel Right at Home
American guy: So, how do you like the states?
British guy: You know, I've yet to try a Twinkie.
American guy: Really?
British guy: Yeah, or a Ding Dong... Are those similar?
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: twinkie lover
Categories: Food | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Wait, That's Whoopi Goldberg
British lady: My, look at that -- they've cast a black man as Othello...
Othello performance, Stratford Festival Theatre
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Foreigners | Race | Posted 2007-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are They Applying Lip Gloss Over There?
20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We're pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean 'like' her?
20-ish European guy: You know -- like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We're just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]
Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y'know, with funny accents?
Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska
Overheard by: I'd say closer to 10
Categories: Alaska | Foreigners | Language barrier | Posted 2007-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Arby's Comes to Ghana
American #1: What the hell is that smell? I have to find out, because I never want to be around it again.
American #2: Smells like sulfur.
American #3: I've been around cadaver...
American #2: Cadavers smell better.
American #3: No, cadavers smell different. Still awful, but different.
American #2: ... I've only been around the freshly dead.
Our Lady of Lourdes Grotto, Gbi Agbenoxoe
Ho Region
Ghana, South Africa
Overheard by: Yevu!
Categories: Africa | Death & dying | Foreigners | Posted 2007-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Second-Greatest Story Ever Told
British woman: They asked me if I believed in Jesus and I said, 'No, but I do worship Godzilla.'
CCS Home Base, Fodome Road
Hohoe, Volta Region
Ghana, West Africa
Categories: Africa | Foreigners | Religion | Posted 2007-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's a Committed Omnivore
British woman: Ah, look, Dede's eating a piece of paper.
American woman: I caught her eating a crayon today.
British woman: The other day she ate a piece of chalk during class. She'll basically eat anything you give to her.
Volta School for the Mentally Handicapped
Gbi Kpendu, Volta Region
Ghana, West Africa
Categories: Africa | Foreigners | Mental illnesses | Posted 2007-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Must... Resist... "Widener"... Joke...
Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me -- where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you're good, it's open all night.
Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: A.J.S.
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hamburgers, That's How
Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It's pronounced 'chaos.'
Truman College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Class | Foreigners | Illinois | Language barrier | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
