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Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That's it, I'm not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Cum | Food | Foreigners | Washington | Women | Posted 2010-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And What About Cars?
Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like... Ducks over there?
Orlando, Florida
Ad: The Olympics-- Because Boredom Is Better Than Warfare
Norwegian guy in fake British accent to girl in Olympic volunteer uniform: Excuse me, dear sir, can you direct me to the nearest (pauses for dramatic effect) Olympiad?!
Volunteer girl, pointing toward hot dog stand: That way.
Scotiabank Theatre
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: You luge you lose!
Categories: Canadia | Foreigners | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2010-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Weight Watcher Points Aren't Even Close
Spanish girl to boy: Sleeping with ten niggas ain't the same thing as sleeping with ten white boys!
High School
Pennsylvania
Categories: Compare and contrast | Foreigners | Pennsylvania | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sex | Posted 2010-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Introducing the Deepest Relationship in L.A.
Persian guy #1: So are you going to go out with her again?
Persian guy #2: Yeah, she's a cool girl, man. She likes techno and brands...
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Bonding | California | Foreigners | Technology | Posted 2010-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.
Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.
Chico, California
Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx
Categories: California | Foreigners | On the phone | Threats | Time Management | Violence | Posted 2010-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know I'm Flakey, But I Was Just Itching to Shop.
Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah... In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.
Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: OMG She had VD
Categories: Foreigners | Language barrier | On the phone | STDs | Stores | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2010-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Or Retarded
Loud woman with arms in air: Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Grumpy man: Fuckin' drunks!
Loud woman: I'm not drunk, I'm Canadian!
Canal Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Categories: Character | Drinking & drunks | Foreigners | Gripes | Grumpies | Insults | Louisiana | Posted 2010-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Welcome to the Twilight Zone
30-something guy to seven-year-old kid: So even when you get older you will be spending a lot of time in stores waiting for women to shop... It's boring for us, but looking around and not buying anything is somehow fun for them.
Seven-year-old kid: Oh. You aren't American. Where you from?
30-something guy: I'm from Ireland.
Seven-year-old kid: Ireland? What do they speak there?
30-something guy: English.
Seven-year-old kid: You speak English?
30-something guy: Well, we're speaking English now.
Seven-year-old kid, incredulously: We are?
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jack
Categories: Foreigners | Gender issues | Kids | Kids | New York | Questions | Shopping | Posted 2010-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Didn't Expect the Irish to Be Such Pussies
Coworker: Where were you? You were meant to be in work at 7!
Drunk Slovakian guy arriving at work: I drank Jack Daniels until 5 this morning, then went to bed. I woke at nine and fucked Jane, then got my brother to drop me off at work.
Craigavon
Northern Ireland
Categories: Coworkers | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Family ties | Foreigners | Ireland | Questions | Sex | Posted 2010-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Is So Cliche.
Working-class hippie: Oh, I have another porn story!
Foreign hippie: The one about your mom?
Working-class hippie: No, no, this one's about Matt*--my surrogate father.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Family ties | Foreigners | Hippies | Massachusetts | Parenting | Porn | Posted 2009-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Irish Curse
American girl: Are you British?
Irish girl: No, I'm Irish.
American girl: Ew! Does that mean you eat haggis?
Irish girl, peevishly: No, haggis is Scottish.
American girl: Ohhh! Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!
Irish girl: The implication that I'm Scottish isn't what offends me about this conversation.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: T
Categories: California | Food | Foreigners | Geography | Girls | Stupidity | Posted 2009-12-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Time to Play How Long 'Til His Head Explodes!
French metrosexual, holding up iPhone: It's from Madame Butterfly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the American movie of it. With that one homosexual actor. Robbie... Robin...
British dinner guest: Robbie Williams?
American dinner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he's not gay...
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British dinner guest: That was Mrs Doubtfire.
American dinner guest: It's called Papillon in the US.
French metrosexual: What?
France
Categories: About celebrities | Cell phones | Cops | Foreigners | France | Movies | Names | Sexuality | Posted 2009-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's the Germany Of the United States.
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in "I heart NJ" shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
Categories: England | Feelings | Foreigners | Offers and requests | Questions | Tourists | Weirdness | Posted 2009-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Swing by the Great Wall on the Way?
Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Categories: Airports & flights | Foreigners | Holidays | Offers and requests | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2009-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like "Dragon" or "Compassionate Conservative"
20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like "unicorn" or something.
Bar
Munich
Germany
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Foreigners | Germany | Girls | Guys | Questions | Sexuality | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2009-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Without Being Swarmed by Seminarians
Australian tourist: God, it's so hot in here. I can't wait to get out of here and take these pants off.
Church security guard, overhearing: Yes... that is very difficult to do in a church.
Vatican City
Overheard by: LeBron
As Seen in Good Wool Humping
Irish girl, after sheep show: Well, that wasn't much, was it?
Irish friend: Yeah, just a lot of focking sheep shit.
South Island
New Zealand
Overheard by: fellow tour member who agrees
Categories: Animals | Foreigners | Friends | Girls | Gripes | New Zealand | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps
Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don't believe this!
Fira
Santorini
Greece
I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt...
Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.
Colosseum
Rome
Italy
A Tale, Told by an Idiom.
Finnish lady: They waited years to diagnose him so now of course he's got a lot of luggage.
American lady: Wait, don't you mean baggage?
Finnish lady: Luggage?
American lady: Baggage.
Finnish lady: Baggage, luggage.
Brazilian man, totally bewildered: Suitcases?
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Sprightly
Categories: California | Foreigners | Health & Hygiene | Language barrier | Maladies | Women | Words | Posted 2009-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Ruined the Entire Experience Of Jerry Maguire for Me
American guy #1: Fuck, here I am, sitting on top of some fucking sandmountain in the goddam desert in Chile, god knows how far away from home, to watch some goddam sunset! And I'm not even on my fucking own, or with some hot chick. I'm sitting here with severeal hundred other people. It's such a fucking waste. It's kinda like sitting all alone in the movie theater, and then some dickhead comes and sits down next too you.
American guy #2: Yeah, I did that once!
American guy #1: I hate you. (walks away).
San Pedro de Attacama
Chile
Overheard by: Hege
Categories: Compare and contrast | Foreigners | Gripes | Guys | Insults | South America | Posted 2009-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet...
New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?
Train
Dublin
Ireland
Categories: Compare and contrast | Couples | Feelings | Foreigners | Hands | Health & Hygiene | Ireland | Money | On the phone | Questions | Relationships | Train | Posted 2009-08-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
More Important Than You Knew
Brazilian guy to American: Pleeeeeaaase? Say it. Say it. Say "fucker de matriz" in English.
Brazilian girlfriend: He wants you to say (whispers) "motherfucker".
American guy: Okay. (blandly) Motherfucker.
Brazilian guy: No! Like an American, please!
American guy: Huh? Oh, "muthafucka!"
Brazilian guy, laughing giddily and clapping: Yes! Yes! Muthafucka, excellent!
ViaRail Train
Canadia
Overheard by: Jim
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Foreigners | Insults | Offers and requests | Train | Wishes | Words | Posted 2009-07-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If That's Your Sex Club, I'm Not Interested.
Guy: Hold my backpack for me.
Turkish girl: No.
Guy: If you hold my backpack for me, I'll let you into the European Union.
Middlebury College
Middlebury, Vermont
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Foreigners | Girls | Guys | Offers and requests | Politics | Stupidity | Vermont | Posted 2009-07-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Just Hate Arguments, Though
American man: Fish is good in salad.
Australian man: Fish is great in salad!
American man: Do you even like fish?
Australian man: No.
Harvard Square
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Compare and contrast | Food | Foreigners | Friends | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2009-07-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grabbing Other Women's Butts Is a Cultural Thing.
College girl from England: Hey, whoa, are you drunk?
College girl from Prague: No! I'm Czech!
Royal Holloway University of London
England
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | England | Foreigners | Geography | Girls | Language barrier | Questions | Students | Posted 2009-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We've Given the Bin Ladens Enough, Sir
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you...because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
Categories: Character | Crazies | Death & dying | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Names | New York | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Threats | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Had Means, Motive and Opportunity?
Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?
Ross
Melbourne, Florida
Categories: Default | Employees | Florida | Foreigners | Offers and requests | Poop | Questions | Posted 2009-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Just Say His Istanbul Couldn't Constantinople
Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that.
Eastern Market
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern
Categories: Default | Foreigners | Geography | Relationships | Sex | Washington, DC | Women | Posted 2009-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!
Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!
Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California
Categories: California | Default | Food | Foreigners | Geography | Guys | Offers and requests | Tourist attractions | Posted 2009-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'm Currently Putting David Hasselhoff Through a Rigorous Mentorship Program
Elderly Italian lady to store clerk, while judging jugs of wine: I'm the last of the great drinkers.
Liquor Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steve
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Drinking & drunks | Foreigners | Old folks | Pennsylvania | Stores | Women | Words | Posted 2009-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hence the Babies
Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.
Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: another immigrant
Categories: Bus | Compare and contrast | Default | Foreigners | Girls | Illinois | Insults | Race | Women | Posted 2009-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No, But I'd Love a Stranger Telling Me How to Live My Life
Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?
Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: California | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Was Just Fucking with Him--She's Actually a Figure Skater
Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally...
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter)
US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Categories: Colorado | Default | Foreigners | Gender issues | Girls | Guys | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like, on Our Spouses or What?
Foreign professor: If I would be you, I would cheat.
Western Kentucky University
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Default | Education | Foreigners | Kentucky | Teachers | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Despite Having Been Voted Off the Island
Foreigner: Man, there's so many foreigners here! They're everywhere!
Kyoto
Japan
Categories: Asia | Default | Foreigners | Geography | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now Say That Again While Flexing Your Bicep
Dumb girl: Oh, I love The Flintstones. How do you say "yaba-daba-do" in Portuguese?
Portuguese stud: Yaba-daba-doooooo!
Dumb girl: God, that's awesome! I love Portuguese!
Pasadena, California
Categories: California | Default | Feelings | Foreigners | Girls | Language barrier | Questions | Students | Stupidity | TV shows | Words | Posted 2008-10-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Ones I Do Have Thankfully Have Easy-to-Remember 1-900 Numbers
Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.
Austin, Texas
Categories: Cell phones | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Guys | Offers and requests | Questions | Texas | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There's Nothing Like Mourning Sex
Young Spanish guy: So yeah, I met up with my ex Becky last night, we ended up having sex behind the pharmacy.
Young white guy: I asked you to come hang out yesterday but you said you had your grandpa's funeral!
Young Spanish guy: I did have the funeral, but that was in the morning.
Young white guy: So you had time to fuck Becky behind the pharmacy but no time to hang out with me? Besides, you said you were close to your grandpa. Shouldn't you have been mourning?
Young Spanish guy: So... does this mean I don't get a high five?
Young white guy: *grudgingly high fives*.
Movie Theatre, Ottawa
Canada
Overheard by: Ash
Categories: Canadia | Death & dying | Default | Family ties | Foreigners | Guys | Memory lane | Relationships | Sex | Time Management | Posted 2008-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Arsenal Is Losing the Battle for Hearts and Minds
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.
Japan
Categories: Asia | Asians | Clothes | Default | Foreigners | Gym rats | Insults | Kids | Language barrier | Questions | Posted 2008-08-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fifth Grade's Usually When Kids Develop Flayva
White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren't you ever white?
Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siberia
Categories: Age and ageing | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Foreigners | Memory lane | New Jersey | Questions | Race | Posted 2008-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Meantime All of Our Popsicles Taste Like Mr. Waggles
Prof: So, how's everything at home?
Italian cafe worker: My dog died.
Prof: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Was he old?
Italian cafe worker: Yes. But I can't bury him. The ground is frozen. There's snow.
Prof: You could have him cremated.
Italian cafe worker: I have him in my freezer. I had to clear it out, my freezer. All the food is out. I'm going to keep him there 'til mud season when I can bury him in the backyard.
Prof: Oh.
Landmark College
Putney, Vermont
Categories: Animals | Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | Default | Employees | Foreigners | Teachers | Vermont | Weather | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Between a Comfy Bed and a Public Bathroom
20-something foreigner: The Democrats and Republicans... It's like the difference between safe sex and unsafe sex.
Taverna
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: sarah
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Europe | Foreigners | Politics | Sex | Posted 2008-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Pregnant!
Old Russian woman: You very strong girl!
Cashier: Thanks.
Old Russian woman: You will birth very easy!
Cashier: Than... wait, what?!
Hannaford
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
If He Inquires, Just Say "It's Because You're So Big"
American backpacker girl, about her new hostel boyfriend: So, as of this afternoon, he's one step closer to not being a virgin.
Dutch girl, shocked: What about your period?!
American friend, walking up: Don't worry. Just do it. He won't even know what's going on anyways.
Loki Hostel
La Paz
Bolivia
Categories: Default | Foreigners | Friends | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Sexuality | South America | Tourists | Virginity | Posted 2008-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean I Have a Case of the Cups
American guy: Hmm, what should we have for desert?
French girl: I've been craving crab cakes. With frosting.
American guy: Uhh, you mean cupcakes?!
3rd St West Hollywood
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Food | Foreigners | Girls | Guys | Language barrier | Questions | Words | Posted 2008-05-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Think We All Know What Happened with Monica and That Cigar
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Categories: Advice | Black people | Compare and contrast | Education | Euphemisms | Foreigners | Mississippi | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Americans Have Always Been More Interested in Style Than in Content
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn't have been more than eight, say "bitches and hoes."
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: ... No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Education | Etiquette | Foreigners | Insults | Kids | Offers and requests | Students | Teachers | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Case You Were Wondering
American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn't escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Compare and contrast | Construction workers | Coworkers | Default | Foreigners | Geography | Guys | History | Illinois | Politics | Words | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gosh, That Was a Fun Baptism.
Big Italian guy holding a putter: Man, the last time I had one of these was to beat someone up!
Lumberjack Mini Golf
Lake George, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Default | Foreigners | Guys | New York | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Is Correct.
Teacher: Did you hear Germany got a new polar bear?
German exchange student: Shiza!
Guy: What's wrong with polar bears?
German exchange student: Ugh... You have no idea.
Grady High School
Atlanta, Georgia
An Old Russian Idiom for "I Love You"
Old Russian man, gesturing: My little finger is bigger than my father's loin.
Bread & Chocolate
Alexandria, Virginia
Overheard by: LizWasStunned
Categories: Body parts | Family ties | Foreigners | Virginia | Posted 2008-01-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Jack Got in the Box
Scottish woman to bald Brit: If you get her number, I'm buying you a bed-in-a-bag.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Advice | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-01-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Both Make You Slightly Ill -- You'll Feel Right at Home
American guy: So, how do you like the states?
British guy: You know, I've yet to try a Twinkie.
American guy: Really?
British guy: Yeah, or a Ding Dong... Are those similar?
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: twinkie lover
Categories: Food | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Wait, That's Whoopi Goldberg
British lady: My, look at that -- they've cast a black man as Othello...
Othello performance, Stratford Festival Theatre
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Foreigners | Race | Posted 2007-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are They Applying Lip Gloss Over There?
20-ish European guy: So, do you like Angela*?
20-ish Asian guy: We're pretty good friends, yeah. But what do you mean 'like' her?
20-ish European guy: You know -- like-like her.
20-ish Asian guy: Oh, no, no, no, no, no! We're just really good friends. I never really thought of her that way. Why? Do you like-like her?
20-ish European guy: I dunno. I think I like-like her, but I thought you like-liked her. [They walk away, still talking.]
Woman: Is it just me or did those foreign guys sound like 12-year-old American girls, but, y'know, with funny accents?
Charity pancake breakfast
Hope, Alaska
Overheard by: I'd say closer to 10
Categories: Alaska | Foreigners | Language barrier | Posted 2007-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Arby's Comes to Ghana
American #1: What the hell is that smell? I have to find out, because I never want to be around it again.
American #2: Smells like sulfur.
American #3: I've been around cadaver...
American #2: Cadavers smell better.
American #3: No, cadavers smell different. Still awful, but different.
American #2: ... I've only been around the freshly dead.
Our Lady of Lourdes Grotto, Gbi Agbenoxoe
Ho Region
Ghana, South Africa
Overheard by: Yevu!
Categories: Africa | Death & dying | Foreigners | Posted 2007-10-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Second-Greatest Story Ever Told
British woman: They asked me if I believed in Jesus and I said, 'No, but I do worship Godzilla.'
CCS Home Base, Fodome Road
Hohoe, Volta Region
Ghana, West Africa
Categories: Africa | Foreigners | Religion | Posted 2007-10-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's a Committed Omnivore
British woman: Ah, look, Dede's eating a piece of paper.
American woman: I caught her eating a crayon today.
British woman: The other day she ate a piece of chalk during class. She'll basically eat anything you give to her.
Volta School for the Mentally Handicapped
Gbi Kpendu, Volta Region
Ghana, West Africa
Categories: Africa | Foreigners | Mental illnesses | Posted 2007-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Must... Resist... "Widener"... Joke...
Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me -- where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you're good, it's open all night.
Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: A.J.S.
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hamburgers, That's How
Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It's pronounced 'chaos.'
Truman College
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Class | Foreigners | Illinois | Language barrier | Teachers | Posted 2007-04-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
