Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | People

And You Thought There Was an Echo in Your Bathroom.

Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.

Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Sir, You Have My Attention

Guy, walking on the sidewalk under row of windows: So, on the subject of vaginas...

Portland, Oregon

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...Now Who Wants to Play "Hang the Sock"??

High school student: People are often uncomfortable when they're naked...
Male professor: Now, that's just not true, because I'm never uncomfortable when I'm naked, and you wanna know why? Because whenever I am naked, fun ensues.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But Not As Good As the Cucumber, or the Remote Control

Doctor: Okay, we're going to give you an iron shot.
Nurse: Roll over on your side. Okay, you're just going to feel a little prick in your butt.
Patient: Better than the finger that was up there earlier!

ER
Newport Beach, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Everthing I Hated About High School Is Suddenly Flooding Back to Me...

Eccentric driver's ed student: Sometimes I really just like to sniff my pants. (leans forward and sniffs his pants)

Northport, New York

Overheard by: Jessica

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Like His Penis, Once.

Creepy, vacant-eyed hipster, apropos of nothing: Jesus loves you. He made you. He shows me things.

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Jen

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination

Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!

Burning Man
Nevada

Overheard by: Eavesdropper

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...as Salad Dressing.

Creepy mustached dude: Yep, so that's nine weeks of good urine testing. And about four weeks ago, I started using my own.

Dunkin' Donuts
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: All I wanted was a coffee

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Tonight, on Bizarre Rationalization Theatre...

Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven't used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.

5 Bus
San Diego, California

Overheard by: mhd

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

That's a Great Idea!

Goth girl: So by working to benefit communism, they started to think that communism wasn't actually so bad!
Creepy guy: You know, some people say that young people aren't deep. You've proved them wrong. (leaves)
Fat friend: Good thing he didn't hear us talking about how Sims should be able to sell drugs.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Is Anybody Shocked That Las Vegas Has Creepy Guys?

Creepy lurky guy at bar (walking up and smelling girl sitting at table): Sorry y'all. Just smells really good.
Friend of girl (giving guy a dirty look): That was awkward.
Creepy lurky guy: Well, maybe you shouldn't be here then.
Friend of girl: Well, maybe you shouldn't be trying to smell us.

Blue Martini
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Ariola

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

And No Claws This Time, Please

Cat being carried by a morning walker: Meaow! Meaow meaow!
Morning walker: Yeah yeah yeah, okay. Then what happened?
Cat: Meaow!
Morning walker: Really? So what did you do?

Joggers Park
Vashi, Bombay
India

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'll Bet You Say That to All the Girls

(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but...
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh... (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.

Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Julia M

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Guess What I've Done with the Butter Dispenser

Popcorn hater: Oh my god! You're going to walk out of there with a popcorn-bag fashioned diaper, aren't you?
Popcorn enthusiast: It's supportive and delicious!

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: Meghan

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Explains the Ski Hat in the Middle Of July

20-something guy with ridiculous hair cut: Like, I'm not saying that mother earth isn't my priority, because like she totally is, I'm just saying that I'm not going to like let her run my life. At the end of the day.

8th & Chestnut
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But I Need to Stop Collecting Them

Girl: I really don't know why I have such an unhealthy obsession with lesbians.

Bakersfield, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Almost a Great Title for a Country Song

20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: 5 rows up

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Don't Lick the Glass This Time, Okay?

Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I'm having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I'm bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I'll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I'll be looking at me.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: business casual

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

How Would You Characterize Kelly Ripa?

Teen #1: I hate her. She is such a milk!
Teen #2: What? Don't you mean "milf"?
Teen #1: No, man. She is a mother I would like to kill.
Teen #2: Oh. I think she is a milky milf!
Teen #1: There is something wrong with you.

Columbia, South Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Why Cashmere Condoms Are So Popular

Bearded dude: Yeah... I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation...

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

They Usually Have Pretty Cool Stereo Equipment

Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can't fuck'em, what's the point?

Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie

Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter's name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.

Bar
Los Angeles, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Slut Recordkeeping System Parallels Major League Baseball's

Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she's slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!

Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: flunk_punk

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Never Before Has a Yeast Infection Been So Delicious

Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Knows All the Homeopathic Crab Remedies

Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she's my type of girl.

Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: a middle school slut

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Was It a Big Bang?

Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!

Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Our Love Is A Battlefield

Casanova: This is a replica of the helmet I wear when I fuck my wife.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: shadow

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Hardly Touched Myself at All

Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn't mean I'm creepy.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'm Not Allowed to Use Them at Home

Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I'm including this part because I enjoy saying words like "anus".

South Dakota State University
South Dakota

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder

Female Mets fan: I'd let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.

Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York

Overheard by: aaron

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But the Make-a-Wish People Laughed at Me

Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!

Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

...Through Binoculars.

Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I'm just used to seeing you from behind.

Hartford, Connecticut

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

She's Decomposing Nicely in the Tool Shed

Creepster in poncho: I like your hair.
Hot chick: Oh, thanks.
Creepster in poncho: It smells like my grandma.

Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

... Hanging between His Knees

Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it's just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, 'genitalia'? Is that the right word? Well, you know -- that smooth Southern thing.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

The Technical Term Is "Cellmates"

Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn't it be great if you were fucking someone's ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?

Biddeford, Maine

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But It's Not Like Anything Can Compare to Your Grandma's

Irish rugby fan, to crowd of others: ... So I said to him, 'It's just like eating out your sister's pussy -- tastes just as good, but it's not quite right.'

Metro
Paris
France

Overheard by: kitkat ...Scarred for Life

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

"I'm Never Babysitting for You Again!" She Said.

Guy to girls: First I kicked her, then I put a dick in her ear.

Target
Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin

Overheard by: NU Rules

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Don't Make Me Start Jabbing You with Pins Again

Man with camera: No, smile. There's no frowning allowed on MySpace anymore. It's a rule. If you want your picture there, you have to smile.
Six-year-old son: Okay.
Man, to other young son: And you -- be serious. No, not like that. Beyond serious. Like you lost your dog -- that serious. No, even more -- like you lost your truck!

Ice rink
Asheville, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

A Nice Change from My Standard Rape-Murder Fantasy

Awkward guy to girl: Sometimes I pretend you are my child... And man, are you cute!

Eugene, Oregon

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Before I Steal Their Skin for Lampshades

Tall guy: When we get back to the flat we should measure how tall we all are.
Shorter girl: ... Why?
Tall guy, in creepy, monotone voice: ... I like to measure people.

Manchester
UK

Overheard by: Scared by-stander

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Your Honor, I Was Only Following His Instructions

Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20-ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20-ish chick: No, really -- thank you, but I'll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!

Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Cubs Fan

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Which End Is He Interested In?

Cute lab tech guy: So, to take a stool sample, take this stick and smear it in here.
Hot girl patient: I have to smush it?
Cute lab tech guy: Yep, like that. So, do you have a boyfriend?

Park Nicolette Clinic
St. Louis Park, Minnesota

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Some Public Safety Officers Are Creepier Than Others

Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he's a rapist, and he's at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].

Gym
Cary, North Carolina

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Draw Your Weapon First

Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don't know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.

Kroger
Columbus, Ohio

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

So, No Rules, Just Right?

Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y'know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it 'the baby grinder.'
Bartender: That's disgusting.
Girl: What's really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.

Bar
Fitzroy
Australia

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

In Totally Unrelated News, We'll Never Have to Hear Ashlee Simpson Sing Again.

Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh! They only eat dead flesh!
Browser #2: What are you talking about?
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh -- y'know, maggots -- and I found them in my garbage can and they only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh, y'know?

Flea market
Kentucky

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Like Being Celibate, but Without the Effort

Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.

Gateway High School
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Sure Hope So!

Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y'all look like Charlie's Angels. I didn't realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What's a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?

Washington, DC

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Oh, Hell, Let's Just Blow Each Other and Be Done with It

Man #1: She's lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn't help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn't fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor -- fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone's dick should be allowed to.

9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Think Ovary Eaters Make More of a "Hiss"

Meathead to swooning girls: I'm just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!

Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I'll Make You Forget That Elven Slut!

Mid-40s thrift store lady, to VHS of Hidalgo: Mmm, mmm -- Viggo Mortensen. Any time, any place, anywhere, any hole. You know it.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: little bald bastard

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

So Let's Hear No More of Your Homoerotic Jiggery-Pokery

Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I've got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We're talking about bass fishing here, asshole.

Safeway
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

We Keep Saying We Need to Re-Decorate the Kids' Room

Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I'd love one of those for home!

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Accidentally Called Garfield "Magical Mr. Mistoffelees" the Other Day

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can't keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

You Know, a Pot -- Like Madonna In "Lucky Star"

Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.

Minnesota

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Unlike Nose Sex, Where It's Just Everywhere

Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it's warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!

High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Is That How They Get There?

Dirty casanova: So, I'm going out with Sarah, and when she leaves Montreal I'm going out with Sarah... The other one. I don't put all my eggs in one Sarah.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Well, Okay -- I'll Try Anything Once

Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.

Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: phoebe

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Dude, I Think That Might Be a Sex Crime

Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!

University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Joa

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Not Consent Per Se...

Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you -- that fish was happy.

Dalston
London
England

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Top Secret DoD Pheromone Project

Creepster: ... And that's why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.

Koko
York
UK

Overheard by: Laura

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

But It's Dolphin, Dolphin, Dolphin, Every Damned Night!

Creepster: Given the choice, I'd rather eat a convict than a dolphin.

Kingston, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Dumbfounded

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Ummm... Yeah

Man: She's my soul mate. I just wish she was 20 years older and not my daughter.

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: that's kinda creepy

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

He's Got the Extemporaneous Rhyming, but Can He Rope-a-Dope?

Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I'm the prettiest man on this here bus! I'm like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: blondie

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

It's Foolproof!

Middle-aged guy on ski lift to lady: ... So I'm at work, and the new 18-something marketing intern comes up to me and basically directly propositions me for sex. Now, since I have that restraining order my wife got against me and I'm done dealing with that assault conviction, I didn't think it was going to be a bad idea. My wife won't come over and my probation officer calls the same time every day...

Crystal Mountain ski area
Washington

Overheard by: should have waited for the next chair

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

I Could Give a Damn How Mom Feels

Creepster #1: You know what's really hot?
Creepster #2: What?
Creepster #1: Sniffing a sexy chick's underwear.
Creepster #2: Yeah, man.
Creepster #1: So you do it, too? I do it after sex when she leaves the room.
Creepster #2: Yeah, me, too... But usually it's my mom's underwear, so my girlfriend doesn't get weirded out.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Jay and Silent Bob Finally Accept It

Woman, about two men hugging: Okay, good. Now I want to see you make out. For two minutes. In slow motion.

Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: conrad jones

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Dude, That's David Spade

Man at airport: I'm gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him.

Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com

Overheard by: tim

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Dude Rule #1: Caught in a Lie? Tell a Bigger One

Chick: Are you sure you're a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That's not my photography hand.

Taber's Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Flying Pig

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

So They're Still Just Meat Puppets, Am I Right?

Sketchy guy: So, like, if you were hooking up with someone but not dating -- just sex -- would you tell them you had an STD?
Girl: Are you kidding me?
Sketchy guy: But, like, you're not actually dating -- just having sex.
Girl: [Shocked silence.]

Vassar College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: absolutely horrified

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

By the Way, Sorry about Scaring Your Daughter Like That

Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I'm more of the 'call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house' kind of guy.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: 2catchapredator

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Perhaps It's Time to Repair the Hole in Our Shared Wall

Girl: So, felching is when I rim you, right?
Guy: Something like that.
Girl: Is it like a frumpie? I think I'm more comfortable getting fucked in the ass by a girl than a guy. I mean, it's like the oral thing -- I'd rather lick a pussy while you fuck me than suck a dick.
Guy: Alright.
Girl: I can't believe your neighbor knocked on your door to shut us up! That was too funny.
Guy: She's British. She doesn't really understand rough sex, just tea and finding her husband in her thongs.

Hop's Grill and Bar
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: just trying to eat dinner without hearing the word 'frumpie'

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Or Was It Your Turn to Take the Roofies?

Dude to another: Remember that gang bang we had last night?

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Unless You Like Zima

Dude to two chicks: So, my friends are really nice... Just don't accept any drinks from them.

Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com

Overheard by: nate

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

He's a Hard Worker, and You Don't Have to Pay Him Scale

Leather-clad guy to another: I'll lend you my iguana. It'll save you money.

Sheffield
England

Overheard by: chris

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Not That It Does Much Good

Dude #1: So, what are you in?
Chick: Physiology, but I'm taking physics and anatomy.
Dude #2: Shit! So you get to go to the morgue and stuff?
Chick: Yeah! I love it!
Dude #1: Do you have to touch their privates?!

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Pictures at an Exhibitionist

Creepster: Do you mind if I show him a picture of you?
Cute girl: What picture?
Creepster: Catholic school girl.
Cute girl: You still have that?!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: bevans

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

You're a Real Gentleman

Dude: I think I should wait until she has breasts.

Shout-out: www.overheardinvancouver.ca

Overheard by: david

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Girl Squirrel: Oh No She Didn't!

Angry chick: Why did God create men? They're stupid!
Friend: 'Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could've just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno...
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh... It's better than the alternative! They're sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.

Iowa

Overheard by: ewww

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?

Her Gentle Way of Saying, "You Give Shitty Head"

Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I'm fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it's better than a orgasm.

MUNI bus
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: melissa

Alsome | Thumbs up | Thumbs down | Wtf?