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Why Cashmere Condoms Are So Popular
Bearded dude: Yeah... I care a lot more about my penis than I do my friends.
Not quite as bearded dude: Oh, totally.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: wondering if that is selfish, or self preservation...
Categories: Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Default | Feelings | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Penis | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Usually Have Pretty Cool Stereo Equipment
Customer: My therapist wants me to start thinking of men as friends. Seriously though, if you can't fuck'em, what's the point?
Espresso Drive Thru
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: The Barista Who Loves Her Job
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Mental illnesses | Questions | Restaurants | Sexuality | Washington | Posted 2008-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially the One from Little House on the Prairie
Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what's your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter's name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.
Bar
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Bars & Clubs | California | Comebacks | Creepsters | Customers | Default | Drunks | Family ties | Guys | Insults | Names | Questions | Servers | Posted 2008-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Slut Recordkeeping System Parallels Major League Baseball's
Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she's slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!
Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
Categories: Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Default | Drunks | Friends | Girls | Illinois | Sexuality | Posted 2008-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Never Before Has a Yeast Infection Been So Delicious
Female sexual predator: I have a cookie jar in my pants and the lid is always open!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Creepsters | Default | Offers and requests | Overheard at McGill | Sexuality | Women | Words | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Knows All the Homeopathic Crab Remedies
Middle-aged creepster: She was a slut in middle school, so she's my type of girl.
Gentle Bens Brewery
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: a middle school slut
Categories: Arizona | Bars & Clubs | Compliments | Creepsters | Default | Education | Guys | Sexuality | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Was It a Big Bang?
Guy, crying: Ahhh! I just had sex with Stephen Hawking right up here, in my head!
Starbucks
Biloxi, Mississippi
Categories: About celebrities | Creepsters | Default | Fears | Feelings | Guys | Mississippi | Restaurants | Science | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Our Love Is A Battlefield
Casanova: This is a replica of the helmet I wear when I fuck my wife.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: shadow
Categories: Clothes | Creepsters | Guys | Ohio | Relationships | Roleplay | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hardly Touched Myself at All
Dude: Just because I watched you out a window for an hour doesn't mean I'm creepy.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Colorado | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Guys | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Threats | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not Allowed to Use Them at Home
Biology professor, on earthworm digestive systems: And I'm including this part because I enjoy saying words like "anus".
South Dakota State University
South Dakota
Categories: Animals | Body parts | Class | Creepsters | Education | Science | South Dakota | Teachers | Weirdness | Wishes | Words | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Carlos Beltran: I Hate Being an Outfielder
Female Mets fan: I'd let the whole infield fuck me in the ass with no lube if it meant they would win the World Series.
Friend: Classy, Michelle, real classy.
Braves-Mets Game
Queens, New York
Overheard by: aaron
But the Make-a-Wish People Laughed at Me
Drunk guy to two girls: No, really! My ultimate fantasy is to have sex with a ridiculously hot girl while you two are on the futon eating cheetos!
Aburn University
Auburn, Alabama
...Through Binoculars.
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I'm just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Ass | Compare and contrast | Connecticut | Creepsters | Default | Education | Etiquette | Girls | Names | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Decomposing Nicely in the Tool Shed
Creepster in poncho: I like your hair.
Hot chick: Oh, thanks.
Creepster in poncho: It smells like my grandma.
Bus stop
Gainesville, Florida
Categories: Bus | Compare and contrast | Creepsters | Default | Florida | Girls | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Hanging between His Knees
Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it's just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, 'genitalia'? Is that the right word? Well, you know -- that smooth Southern thing.
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Categories: Compliments | Creepsters | Default | US Geography | Virginia | Words | Posted 2008-02-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Technical Term Is "Cellmates"
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn't it be great if you were fucking someone's ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
Categories: Creepsters | Cum | Maine | Sex | Violence | Posted 2008-02-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It's Not Like Anything Can Compare to Your Grandma's
Irish rugby fan, to crowd of others: ... So I said to him, 'It's just like eating out your sister's pussy -- tastes just as good, but it's not quite right.'
Metro
Paris
France
Overheard by: kitkat ...Scarred for Life
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | France | Gripes | Kink | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
"I'm Never Babysitting for You Again!" She Said.
Guy to girls: First I kicked her, then I put a dick in her ear.
Target
Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Overheard by: NU Rules
Categories: Body parts | Creepsters | Penis | Sex | Violence | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Don't Make Me Start Jabbing You with Pins Again
Man with camera: No, smile. There's no frowning allowed on MySpace anymore. It's a rule. If you want your picture there, you have to smile.
Six-year-old son: Okay.
Man, to other young son: And you -- be serious. No, not like that. Beyond serious. Like you lost your dog -- that serious. No, even more -- like you lost your truck!
Ice rink
Asheville, North Carolina
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | Dads | North Carolina | Posted 2008-01-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Nice Change from My Standard Rape-Murder Fantasy
Awkward guy to girl: Sometimes I pretend you are my child... And man, are you cute!
Eugene, Oregon
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | Oregon | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Before I Steal Their Skin for Lampshades
Tall guy: When we get back to the flat we should measure how tall we all are.
Shorter girl: ... Why?
Tall guy, in creepy, monotone voice: ... I like to measure people.
Manchester
UK
Overheard by: Scared by-stander
Categories: Creepsters | Leisure | UK | Posted 2007-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Honor, I Was Only Following His Instructions
Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20-ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20-ish chick: No, really -- thank you, but I'll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!
Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cubs Fan
Categories: Creepsters | Getting off | Illinois | Posted 2007-11-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which End Is He Interested In?
Cute lab tech guy: So, to take a stool sample, take this stick and smear it in here.
Hot girl patient: I have to smush it?
Cute lab tech guy: Yep, like that. So, do you have a boyfriend?
Park Nicolette Clinic
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Categories: Creepsters | Minnesota | Poop | Posted 2007-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Public Safety Officers Are Creepier Than Others
Skinny guy in tank top showing girl some crumpled mugshot: Have you seen this man before?
Girl on treadmill: Ummm, no?
Skinny guy: Well, he's a rapist, and he's at large. So if you see him, or if you get scared at night, just give me a call [hands her a phone number].
Gym
Cary, North Carolina
Categories: Advice | Creepsters | North Carolina | Posted 2007-11-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Draw Your Weapon First
Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don't know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.
Kroger
Columbus, Ohio
Categories: Creepsters | Ohio | Words | Posted 2007-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So, No Rules, Just Right?
Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y'know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it 'the baby grinder.'
Bartender: That's disgusting.
Girl: What's really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.
Bar
Fitzroy
Australia
Categories: Australia | Bartenders | Creepsters | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2007-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Totally Unrelated News, We'll Never Have to Hear Ashlee Simpson Sing Again.
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh! They only eat dead flesh!
Browser #2: What are you talking about?
Browser #1: They only eat dead flesh -- y'know, maggots -- and I found them in my garbage can and they only eat dead flesh. They only eat dead flesh, y'know?
Flea market
Kentucky
Categories: Creepsters | Food | Kentucky | Posted 2007-10-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like Being Celibate, but Without the Effort
Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.
Gateway High School
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
Categories: Creepsters | Florida | Getting off | Posted 2007-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Sure Hope So!
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y'all look like Charlie's Angels. I didn't realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What's a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Compliments | Creepsters | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-09-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Hell, Let's Just Blow Each Other and Be Done with It
Man #1: She's lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn't help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn't fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor -- fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone's dick should be allowed to.
9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California
Categories: California | Creepsters | Sex | Posted 2007-09-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Ovary Eaters Make More of a "Hiss"
Meathead to swooning girls: I'm just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!
Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts
Categories: Body parts | Creepsters | Massachusetts | Threats | Posted 2007-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Make You Forget That Elven Slut!
Mid-40s thrift store lady, to VHS of Hidalgo: Mmm, mmm -- Viggo Mortensen. Any time, any place, anywhere, any hole. You know it.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: little bald bastard
Categories: About celebrities | Creepsters | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let's Hear No More of Your Homoerotic Jiggery-Pokery
Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I've got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We're talking about bass fishing here, asshole.
Safeway
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Ken Lane
Categories: California | Creepsters | Penis | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Keep Saying We Need to Re-Decorate the Kids' Room
Woman pointing at cadaver: Oooh. I'd love one of those for home!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Creepsters | Eavesdrop DC | Stupidity | Posted 2007-09-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Accidentally Called Garfield "Magical Mr. Mistoffelees" the Other Day
Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can't keep them all straight!
301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California
Categories: California | Creepsters | Internet | Posted 2007-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know, a Pot -- Like Madonna In "Lucky Star"
Creepster: The penis hole showcases my spare tire rather well.
Minnesota
Categories: Body parts | Creepsters | Minnesota | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unlike Nose Sex, Where It's Just Everywhere
Burly dude: No, seriously, the thing about anal is it's warmer, tighter, and you hardly ever get shit on your dick!
High school cafeteria
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: we were scared for his tiny girlfriend
Categories: Backdoor | Creepsters | Georgia | Gossip | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That How They Get There?
Dirty casanova: So, I'm going out with Sarah, and when she leaves Montreal I'm going out with Sarah... The other one. I don't put all my eggs in one Sarah.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Creepsters | Overheard at McGill | Relationships | Posted 2007-08-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, Okay -- I'll Try Anything Once
Customer to clerk: Maybe my idea of sex is sticking a drill in your head.
Visible Voice Books
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: phoebe
Categories: Creepsters | Kink | Ohio | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, I Think That Might Be a Sex Crime
Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!
University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Joa
Categories: BJs | Connecticut | Creepsters | Gossip | Poop | Posted 2007-07-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Not Consent Per Se...
Builder to another during break: Mate, I tell you -- that fish was happy.
Dalston
London
England
Categories: Animals | Creepsters | England | Posted 2007-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Top Secret DoD Pheromone Project
Creepster: ... And that's why all the women in Paris wanted to stroke my head.
Koko
York
UK
Overheard by: Laura