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And I'm Running Dangerously Low on Reese's Pieces
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it's still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don't see any; I don't have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
Categories: Brazil | Coworkers | Crazies | Customers | Death & dying | Etiquette | Food | Hobos | McDonald's | Offers and requests | Questions | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.
[Line for ladies' room]
Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It's urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]
Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh...[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Categories: Australia | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Etiquette | Gender issues | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Restroom | STDs | Threats | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Of Course My Anal Probes Are Constantly Interrupted by Ads
Freak in furry pants and top hat, to fellow freak: You're the friendster of alien abduction services, and I'm the myspace: You did it first, but I did it better.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: LeeKelly
Categories: Bragging | Compare and contrast | Crazies | Guys | MySpace | Pride | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Must Be a Factory Nearby
Woman, after bring run by kid: Oh, a human male child just ran by me.
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Random Dude
Gay Men Can't Drink Coffee? That's Crazy.
Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath
Categories: Ass | Backdoor | Bag ladies | Bars & Clubs | Character | Crazies | Default | Etiquette | Insults | Penis | San Francisco | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then the Mescaline Wore Off, and I Was Naked in a Public Fountain
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans... It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
Called Him Jonah
Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald's hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!
McDonald's
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Categories: Age and ageing | Canadia | Crazies | Default | Druggies | Food | Health & Hygiene | Posted 2008-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Month's Excerpt from Martha Stewart Dying
Reformed health nut: If I were to eat a stick of butter, I'd roll it in salt.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Crazies | Default | Food | Overheard Lines | Posted 2008-03-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Her Hit Record is Called "I'm a Mink Carcass-Schlepping Slave 4 U"
Crazy lady wearing only a bra: Well, my daddy says we should take my show on the road. I'm a singer, you know. I'm famous in Eastern Europe.
Dumbfounded drunk girls: Uh-huh... Totally.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Kari Nott
Categories: Bragging | Crazies | Jobs & Careers | Lies | Nevada | Posted 2008-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A) That's Not Sunshine; B) Kindly Zip Your Fly.
Man #1: Do you have scissors?
Man #2: I have sunshine... On a cloudy day.
Man #1: [Stunned.]
Restroom, Comic Con
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Crazies | Singing | Posted 2008-01-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like I Said
Crazy old lady in bathrobe yelling to herself: Fuuuck you!
Drunk hobo: It's all in your head, lady.
Crazy old lady: No, it's not -- it's all in my asshole!
Boulder, Colorado
Categories: Body parts | Colorado | Crazies | Posted 2007-11-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Day Our Latin Teacher Just Lost It
Yeller: I brought you peanuts and toilet paper as a peace offering, and what did you bring me? Nothing! You brought me nothing! What does that say about our relationship?!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: michael
Categories: Crazies | Gifts | Gripes | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-11-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Forgive Us for Being Skeptical, Ms Winehouse
Out-patient guy: I am totally embracing this program with both feet first.
Rehab
Parsippany, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary Beth
Categories: Body parts | Crazies | New Jersey | Posted 2007-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You Have Kids, Santa Loses All Respect for You
Crazy, bearded old man: Have you seen Bobby lately?
Ohio state trooper: No. His wife just had a baby, so he's on leave for a while.
Crazy, bearded old man: Well, the next time you see him, tell him Santa Claus says [blows a raspberry].
Goshen, Ohio
Overheard by: Michael
Moral: Spoon Bridges Break and Everyone Dies Painfully
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It's a bridge. It's a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, 'Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Crazies | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gautama: Naw, I Hate Those Hairy Bastards. I'd Pop a Cap in His Ass
DMT vet: When you see the Yeti in the forest, you have to take the Buddhist approach and ask him, 'Why are you here? And what do you have to teach me?'
Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Advice | Crazies | Overheard in Los Angeles | Posted 2007-09-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Site Thanks God for Crazies
Crazy: ... And we got to thank God! Thank him for the babies, for all our little children...! And we got to thank Him for creating sexual intercourse so we can make those babies! And we got to thank God for French fries!
UC Berkeley
California
Overheard by: Lauren agrees with this Man
Categories: California | Crazies | God | Posted 2007-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Was a Sore Loser after the Electric Guitar Contest
Crazy: Satan killed Jimi Hendrix!
Outside El Macombo
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Categories: About celebrities | Canadia | Crazies | Posted 2007-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sure, Alberto. Sure.
Yelling man: Don't try to pick my pocket! I'm in the FBI! I have a badge! I know the Constitution! I could kill you!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b!X
Categories: Crazies | Overheard in PDX | Threats | Posted 2007-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sit-Quietly Bad, or Call-the-Cops Bad?
Crazy man to passenger: Fuck you and your bald mother.
Conductor: Do we have a problem here?
Crazy man: I'm in a bad-fucking-mood today.
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Crazies | Gripes | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-07-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Neatly Packaged in Shrinkwrap
Butcher in bloodstained apron: My soul is pure and untainted.
Supermarket
Portland, Maine
And I'm Prepared to Fight a War on Two Fronts
Crazy man at bus stop in front of the Union: I'm a Nazi for sex, ya fuckin' sluts.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gen
Categories: Bragging | Crazies | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or a Sunburn. With Blisters
Guy: I don't mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.
Wisconsin
You Talkin' to Me? Well, I'm the Only One Here...
Crazy guy looking at reflection in store window: Man, what the fuck you lookin' at?
Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Categories: Crazies | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Mean I Got These Knuckle Tattoos for Nothing?
Crazy lady with fanny pack, after hearing "Emotion" by the Bee Gees on loudspeaker: Love is not an emotion!
Wal-Mart
Oakdale, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Real World Cast Members Have No Goddamn Respect
Crazy lady: Oh, no! Those teenagers did not just steal my outhouse!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Aristide
Whereas She's Only Crazy If She Expects an Answer
Woman to her dog, as other dogs bark at them: They're crazy.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Animals | Crazies | Overheard in Lake County | Posted 2007-05-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or You Can Take Advantage of This Special TV Offer!
Lady: Our cat used to jump up and pee on the stove. You can only imagine the smell of cooked urine.
Vet's office
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hortense
Categories: Crazies | Overheard in Philly | Pee | Posted 2007-04-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Economics Really Is a Dismal Science
Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They're hungry and they aren't happy about it, so people have to die.
Route 16 bus
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat
Categories: Crazies | Evil | Gossip | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Says Human Rights Organizations Don't Appeal to the Masses?
Girl: I save Soviet Jews. I win valuable prizes!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Crazies | Jobs & Careers | Overheard in the Valley | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Look at It, Sitting There in That Box, Plotting, Plotting...
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Crazies | Fears | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, Where Have You Been for the Last 2000 Years?
Genius: ... And that's how I know Jesus is crazy.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Crazies | Jesus | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Really Happened at Hiroshima
Hungry person: I would sacrifice a million Asians for 10-dollar sushi.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Crazies | Food | Overheard at McGill | Threats | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
