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Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it's still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don't see any; I don't have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald's line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald's. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]
Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald's
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
[Line for ladies' room]
Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It's urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]
Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh...[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Freak in furry pants and top hat, to fellow freak: You're the friendster of alien abduction services, and I'm the myspace: You did it first, but I did it better.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: LeeKelly
Woman, after bring run by kid: Oh, a human male child just ran by me.
Arlington, Texas
Overheard by: Random Dude
Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!
Starbucks
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath
Crazy man on stoop, to couple walking German shepherd: Yo! Is that one of them orangutan dogs? I saw me one of them orangutans... It jumped right in the river and started catching fish. Yes it did!
Federal Hill, Baltimore
Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald's hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!
McDonald's
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Reformed health nut: If I were to eat a stick of butter, I'd roll it in salt.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Crazy lady wearing only a bra: Well, my daddy says we should take my show on the road. I'm a singer, you know. I'm famous in Eastern Europe.
Dumbfounded drunk girls: Uh-huh... Totally.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Kari Nott
Man #1: Do you have scissors?
Man #2: I have sunshine... On a cloudy day.
Man #1: [Stunned.]
Restroom, Comic Con
San Diego, California
Crazy old lady in bathrobe yelling to herself: Fuuuck you!
Drunk hobo: It's all in your head, lady.
Crazy old lady: No, it's not -- it's all in my asshole!
Boulder, Colorado
Yeller: I brought you peanuts and toilet paper as a peace offering, and what did you bring me? Nothing! You brought me nothing! What does that say about our relationship?!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: michael
Out-patient guy: I am totally embracing this program with both feet first.
Rehab
Parsippany, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary Beth
Crazy, bearded old man: Have you seen Bobby lately?
Ohio state trooper: No. His wife just had a baby, so he's on leave for a while.
Crazy, bearded old man: Well, the next time you see him, tell him Santa Claus says [blows a raspberry].
Goshen, Ohio
Overheard by: Michael
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It's a bridge. It's a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, 'Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.'
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by:
DMT vet: When you see the Yeti in the forest, you have to take the Buddhist approach and ask him, 'Why are you here? And what do you have to teach me?'
Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Crazy: ... And we got to thank God! Thank him for the babies, for all our little children...! And we got to thank Him for creating sexual intercourse so we can make those babies! And we got to thank God for French fries!
UC Berkeley
California
Overheard by: Lauren agrees with this Man
Crazy: Satan killed Jimi Hendrix!
Outside El Macombo
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Yelling man: Don't try to pick my pocket! I'm in the FBI! I have a badge! I know the Constitution! I could kill you!
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b!X
Crazy man to passenger: Fuck you and your bald mother.
Conductor: Do we have a problem here?
Crazy man: I'm in a bad-fucking-mood today.
Boston, Massachusetts
Butcher in bloodstained apron: My soul is pure and untainted.
Supermarket
Portland, Maine
Crazy man at bus stop in front of the Union: I'm a Nazi for sex, ya fuckin' sluts.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gen
Guy: I don't mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.
Wisconsin
Crazy guy looking at reflection in store window: Man, what the fuck you lookin' at?
Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Crazy lady with fanny pack, after hearing "Emotion" by the Bee Gees on loudspeaker: Love is not an emotion!
Wal-Mart
Oakdale, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Crazy lady: Oh, no! Those teenagers did not just steal my outhouse!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Aristide
Woman to her dog, as other dogs bark at them: They're crazy.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Lady: Our cat used to jump up and pee on the stove. You can only imagine the smell of cooked urine.
Vet's office
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hortense
Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They're hungry and they aren't happy about it, so people have to die.
Route 16 bus
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat
Girl: I save Soviet Jews. I win valuable prizes!
Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Genius: ... And that's how I know Jesus is crazy.
Amherst, Massachusetts
Hungry person: I would sacrifice a million Asians for 10-dollar sushi.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com