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Your Editors Have Started to Hyperventilate
Upset girl to friend: Everything's not the way it should be, it's all wrong. I fail at life.
Friend: Oh, no, you don't fail at life! This is just one of those little things you will fix, along with other things you will fix, and in the end, you'll end up with a pile of little fixed things.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Comebacks | Compliments | Feelings | New Zealand | Posted 2010-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Voters Are Evenly Split on My Ovaries
Girl to friend: But yeah, my uterus sucks. I wish I just had a vagina and it ended there. But I do love my pancreas!
University of Arizona
Did the Pizza Guy Even Apologize for Walking in on You in the Shower?
Chick #1: I was like, "I thought that shit only happened in porn!"
Chick #2: Or movies.
Chick #1: Oh. Yeah.
Cafe
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Porn | Stupidity | Posted 2010-04-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Where I'll Never Have to Deal with Harassment!
Blonde, busty college student, to professor: I don't have to take this! I can get a job at Hooters!
Virginia
Overheard by: Sweenan A. Mornstuy
Categories: Chicks | Compare and contrast | Jobs & Careers | Virginia | Posted 2010-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Clear High Heels
College girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, bigger!
College girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
College girl #1: I know, but I don't want to look like a slut.
College girl #2: I feel like I look less slutty when I wear my sunglasses.
Boulder, Colorado
Not to Mention the Right to Bear Claws
Dumb blonde: Our Bill of Rights is so cool... Everyone must own a cat. And the Lion King.
San Diego, California
Why McDonald's Employees Have Too Much Power in Their Personal Relationships
Chick on cell: There's withholding sex, and then there's withholding French fries.
Cleveland, Ohio
Categories: Chicks | Compare and contrast | Food | Ohio | On the phone | Sex | Posted 2009-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Hope I Get a Piece with Hair!
Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!
High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
In the Immortal Words Of Khrushchev.
Chick giving presentation: Because this is Russia, bitch.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Elena's the Most Creative Pimp in Canadia
Oldish Ukrainian woman: How you have babies with hips like this? How you do this? So skinny. Tsk, tsk.
Skinny chick: Huh?
Oldish Ukrainian woman: Here, eat my husband's sausage. He fill you up. Eat! Eat!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: not so skinny
It's Hard to Be Fast When You're Really Husky
Chick, seriously: Corn's one of them slow motherfuckers.
Friend, upset: Whores.
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Leevee
Categories: Chicks | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | Posted 2009-11-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's in the Microwave
20-something chick on mobile: How many times do I have to tell you? There is no cocaine in my fridge!
University
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: how many times
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-11-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
....Ooo, Chocolate Pudding!
Large chick in group of students: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.
Community College
Virginia
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Dancing | Fat people | Music | Science | Students | Virginia | Posted 2009-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're Deep.
Bleached blonde, looking at hair dye: Oh! This is totally my hair color!
Brunette: No, it's not.
Bleached blonde: Well, it would be... If it changed.
Roscoe, Illinois
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Beauty Advisor
Just Bursting With High-Fat Custard
Chick #1: She's on a date with a French guy.
(pause)
Chick #2: I bet French cock is like an eclair.
University of Denver, Colorado
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Food | Penis | Posted 2009-10-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Just Feel So Comfy in Flannel
Chick: I think that I'm the gayest straight girl in the world.
Bakersfield, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Gender issues | Sexuality | Stupidity | Posted 2009-09-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Where're All the Lines? I Demand Lines!
High maintenance chick #1: You know, the French quarter at Disney is so much better than this.
High maintenance chick #2: Yeah, right, huh? This place is so dirty!
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: yeah, that big storm and all...
Categories: Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Idiots | Louisiana | Pop culture | Posted 2009-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Happens When Mom Isn't Around to Stop Him
Greasy man, with greasy chick hanging on him: On the walls! Cum all over the windows! Cum cum cum, I loooove to cum!
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Savannah and Alena
Categories: Chicks | Cum | Guys | Massachusetts | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Next Time, Actually Read My Nametag.
Drunk chick: Haha, you're a cheeky queen.
Drunk queer: Don't call me a cheeky queen! I'm a dirty bitch!
Provincetown, Massachusetts
The Enemy Of My Imaginary Enemy Is My Imaginary Friend
Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.
Boston, Massachusetts
I've Been Wearing These Same Sweatpants Since 1997
Chick: I don't care about what anyone else does. I barely care about what I do.
Fleetwood, New York
Overheard by: Deek
Plus I Took a Cab
Skinny chick with cigarette on bike to friend she just met up with: Hey! Guess how I got here so fast?
Friend: How?
Skinny chick, enthusiastically: I drink a tonic of strychnine and brandy! Every day!
Mt. Pleasant
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lance Wriststrong
Categories: Canadia | Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Friends | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Skinny people | Weirdness | Posted 2009-09-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Whom, Exactly?
High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?
Vienna, Virginia
Your Editors' Verdict: Shower Yes, Loofah No
20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Categories: Balls | Bathing | Chicks | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Friends | Insults | On the phone | Questions | Sensory experiences | Texas | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2009-09-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Um, Willingly?
Chick to makeup artist: I want you to make me look like someone who just lost their virginity.
MAC Store
Toronto
Canadia
That's a Description Best Saved for Molten Chocolate Cake
Chick #1: That's the best episode of SpongeBob ever.
Chick #2: I knooow!
Chick #1: It's like an orgasm!
Chick #2: No. (pause) No, it's not.
Littleton, Colorado
Categories: Chicks | Colorado | Compare and contrast | Orgasm | TV shows | Posted 2009-08-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Babies Learn to Run Away Before They Can Walk
Loud fat ghetto chick to baby: See dat? See dat baby walking? That's what you need to be doing. I'm sick of carrying yo' ass around.
Target Parking Lot
Florissant, Missouri
Categories: Advice | Ass | Chicks | Fat people | Kids | Missouri | Moms | Parenting | Should have used a condom | Stores | Posted 2009-08-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Wearing a Nametag.
Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since...
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four... five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!
Bar
Nebraska
Overheard by: allie
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Education | Names | Nebraska | Questions | Sex | Time Management | Yuppies | Posted 2009-08-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Every Time I Smell Sewage.
Chick: Yeah, we really need to hang out with Julie soon. She told me yesterday: "I miss Andrea, she's so gross!"
Andrea: Awww, I miss her too!
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Chicks | Feelings | Relationships | Washington | Posted 2009-08-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ten Bucks Says He's a Collective Hallucination
Hot burner chick: Our bar was busy until the fat naked guy showed up and scared everyone off!
Fat naked guy: I'm wearing Uggs!
Burning Man
Nevada
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
Categories: Chicks | Clothes | Creepsters | Diet & weight | Fat people | Fears | Guys | Nevada | Shoes | Weirdness | Posted 2009-08-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Slope Made Slippery by Extra Butter
20-something chick, gravely: I'm having severe intrusive thoughts about buying a medium popcorn.
Friend: So go buy a popcorn.
20-something chick, gravely: No, you don't get it. I'm serious.
Vancouver
Canadia
Sad About Getting Caught
20-something hipster chick: I cried throughout the whole movie. Seriously, I was bawling! Richard Nixon was such a sad man.
Tick Tock Diner
Passiac, New Jersey
Overheard by: JoBell
Categories: Chicks | Feelings | Hipsters | Movies | New Jersey | Politics | Restaurants | Posted 2009-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Like the Miracle Of Hanukah!
Ultra-skinny hipster chick: I've been eating the same quiche for weeks.
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Koch
Categories: Chicks | Diet & weight | Food | Hipsters | Maine | Skinny people | Posted 2009-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Many People Start Fires.
Tourist chick, looking at rescuer on poster: Wow, if I knew I'd be rescued b a guy as hot as that, I would just jump.
Grand Canyon West Rim
Arizona
Overheard by: Long way down
Always Wondered What Went on at Those Methodist Schools
Chick: I chased him into the boys bathroom, and now I'm all wet!
Millsaps College
Jackson, Mississippi
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Education | Gripes | Mississippi | Sex | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And What's That on Your Hamburger?
Chick: Has anyone seen the bottle of fake blood?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Lies | Pennsylvania | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Garfield Would Do Pretty Much Anything for Lasagna
Slightly drunk chick, peering into drink: I think my cat is gay.
Really drunk friend: Hey, heyyyy...
Slightly drunk chick: Or maybe he's just a slut.
The Backdoor
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Animals | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Friends | Kentucky | Sex | Sexuality | Posted 2009-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Kids Flock to Her Slumber Parties for Her Mom's Brownies
Chick on cell: Yeah, mom, listen: I'm trying to buy some weed. Yeah, I'll call you back if I get any. Okay, love you too. Bye.
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adrienne
Categories: Chicks | Drugs | Family ties | Massachusetts | Moms | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2009-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
John Lennon's "Imagine" Went Through Several Preliminary Drafts
Blonde girl: Haha, imagine if my flange was a romantic love chasm... It's more of a cheeky fuckhole.
Loughborough
England
Overheard by: Gibson
Other Than Getting Punched, of Course
Chick: Giving a blow job is totally the best lip plumper.
Alameda, California
Categories: Advice | BJs | Beauty | Body parts | California | Chicks | Default | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Beats a Cat in a Hat and a Big Red Dog
Chick: I should write children's books based on those stories: the volleyball girl with bad luck, and the girl with the feet of a black man.
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Sounds Like a Lovely Centerpiece
Random biker chick: So, you just put your thong right on it?
Sturgis Motorcycle Rally
Keystone, South Dakota
Overheard by: KDH
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Default | Questions | South Dakota | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fifth Grade's Usually When Kids Develop Flayva
White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren't you ever white?
Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siberia
Categories: Age and ageing | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Foreigners | Memory lane | New Jersey | Questions | Race | Posted 2008-08-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So This Summer I Learned How to Snatch-Gargle
20-something chick, pouring wine: I hear wine is a good cure for gonorrhea.
Tiger Noodles
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Categories: Chicks | Default | Drinking & drunks | Food | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Restaurants | STDs | Posted 2008-08-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Except for Those Four Times
Hot chick to guy: Dude, I know. You're such a good friend. You put up with my shit, and I'm not even blowing you!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: BJs | Chicks | Compliments | Default | Feelings | Massachusetts | Posted 2008-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kenny Chesney Never Mentioned That
Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job...on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Categories: BJs | Chicks | Default | Kink | Massachusetts | Memory lane | Weirdness | Posted 2008-08-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
'Cause Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut?
Asian chick: I don't even like pecan pie. Do you?
White chick: I love it!
(long pause)
Asian chick: Why are we friends?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Virginia
Well You Do Have a Cozy-Looking Mustache...
Texan hottie: Holy hell, its freezing. My lips are numb.
Nerdy guy: Want me to warm them up with mine?
Texan hottie: Ha, you wish.
Nerdy guy: Well... yeah, kinda.
Texan hottie: Oh.
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Mouth | Washington, DC | Weather | Wishes | Posted 2008-08-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Yells at Me for Throwing Her Thongs Out of It
Skinny brunette: I hate her! I hate her so much!
Fat chick: Why? What did she do this time?
Skinny brunette: It's just the same stuff. She hangs her thongs on the wall, and they keep multiplying. Plus, she leaves the window opened.
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Default | Fat people | Feelings | Gripes | New York | Undies | Posted 2008-08-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And We're Almost Out of Birdseed
Preppy chick to friend: ...and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it's easy to make.
Ohio State University
Overheard by: GameBoy Kid
Nice Kevlar Shirt, by the Way
Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Who Says The US Is Last In Geography?
Chick: I can never place his accent--it's like he lives south- but his accent's eastern too.
Guy: Maybe he lives... south east? I don't know.
Chick: No, he lives in Illinois- that's north-south.
New York
A Plague on Both Their Home Courts!
Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They're star-crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!
Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado
Categories: About celebrities | Chicks | Christianity | Colorado | Religion | Posted 2008-08-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know the Coolness Police Aren't Real, Right?
Chick: My sister has a 4.0 GPA, but that doesn't mean anything when you've got a criminal record.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Evy
But Then You Have to Live with It Haunting Your Dreams
Chick: You have never truly lived until you have been surrounded by drunk Welsh rugby fans singing I Touch Myself.
International Airport
Denver, Colorado
Categories: Airports & flights | Chicks | Colorado | Default | Drinking & drunks | Gripes | Music | Posted 2008-08-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Should See Him Pick His Teeth
Blonde in jacket: I know this guy that totally disemboweled a bomb using only a toothpick.
Demeaning guy friend: "Disemboweled"?
Blonde in jacket: With nothing but a toothpick! Isn't that incredible?
Denny's
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Gabe
Where Are You Going with This?
Drunk: Two of my three girlfriends just dumped me. I'm looking for replacements.
Cute blonde: Do you like beer?
Drunk: Yes.
Cute blonde: In your face?
Carlton
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: itookherhome
Abstinence Hip Hop Fails to Find Its Audience
Slutty chick: STDs!
Sluttier chick: I don't need one.
Slutty chick: STDs!
Sluttier chick: I'm on my period, yo!
University of Connecticut
Overheard by: Unwilling Audience
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Connecticut | Default | Gender issues | Health & Hygiene | STDs | Stupidity | Posted 2008-07-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and All the Hors D'Oeuvres Were Sprinkled with Lithium
Chick #1: But everyone was happy. It was a happy funeral.
Chick #2: Wow, your grandma must have been a real bitch.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Chicks | Colorado | Death & dying | Family ties | Happiness | Insults | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-07-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Without All Those People Cluttering Up the Landscape
Dude: Cool, you were in Asia... How was it?
Chick: The tsunami was the best thing for Thailand, everything was so clean and pretty afterwards.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Sean_G
Guess Which One's from Jersey
Chick #1: The problem with buying a house seized by the police? Someone could have been murdered there.
Chick #2: That's not a problem, that's a bonus!
Aurora, Colorado
The Female Equivalent Of, "Do You Have Any Balls?"
Ghetto chick screaming at other: Do you deserve your ovaries? I parked your car for you, bitch!
Porter Square
Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: well, do you?
Categories: Chicks | Default | Gender issues | Insults | Massachusetts | Uterus | Posted 2008-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Nymphomaniac Gamblers Anonymous Meeting
20-something chick to friend: If I have to strip him down and put him on top of you myself, I will. *Now* it's a bet!
Mercado, Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Chicks | Default | Sex | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Heard It Was an Island and Expects to Find Palm Trees
Tipsy chick: Why is she wearing a bra-top to Alcatraz?
The Big Hunt Bar
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Clothes | Default | Questions | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Let's Just Say She's in Shape
Dude: You have a sister, right?
Chick: Yeah.
Dude: Is she hot?
Chick: She's 12 and shaped like a rectangle.
Dude: That doesn't answer my question.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Chicks | Colorado | Family ties | Guys | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-07-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does That Include the Sombrero?
Tall chick: I wish I could find a nice, tall guy.
Friend #1: My brother is 6'5".
Tall chick: Is he cute?
Friend: Well...
Friend #2: He looks like a Mexican pedophile.
Tall chick: 6'5", eh? I'll think about it.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Colorado | Default | Family ties | Friends | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Wishes | Posted 2008-07-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well, My Name Is "Ashley"
Skanky girl walking down hall to friends: She told me to put my cigarette out... I put it in my bra.
Asher Alternative High School
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Chicks | Clothes | Default | Girls | Michigan | Offers and requests | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2008-07-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You'll Need a Mental Enema First
Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.
UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: klutch
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Default | Friends | Guys | Hipsters | New Mexico | Questions | Posted 2008-07-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
See My Rattail?
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We're in sales, you?
Man: You're in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I'm sorry, what do you do?
Man: I'm with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
Does...Not...Compute...
Chick #1: She doesn't even *want* to get married!
Chick #2: And she's not a ho?
Starbucks, Pacific Center
Daly City, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: California | Chicks | Questions | Relationships | Restaurants | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Bright, White Light, on the Other Hand...
Gamer dude: ... and the game comes with like, real guns.
Wannabe goth chick: They're actual guns?
Gamer dude: Well like, real models. And it comes with this mirror that lets you see yourself and like, shows what you look like if you get shot in the face.
Wannabe goth chick: That's nice. That's not something you would normally get to see if you got shot in the face.
UAB
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Kitty-Jack
Categories: Alabama | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Death & dying | Games | Goths | Guys | Violence | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is What Happens When Harry Potter Fans Grow Up
Extremely drunk chick crying: I love him so much and he doesn't even know! He's my soulmate.
Exasperated sober chick: He's fictional!
Armory Square
Syracuse, New York
Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]
Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn't know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I'm just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Couldn't You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Bouncer: I don't know... Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don't your shoes match your skirt?
London, Ontario
Canadia
Instead I Politely Smell Your Crotch
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That's a very personal question. That's like if I asked you, "Has it started yet?"
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Categories: California | Chicks | Comebacks | Education | Etiquette | Gender issues | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Tweens | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Soon As We Get On, I'm Grabbing a Pole and Ripping Them Off
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn't let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Clothes | Colorado | Family ties | Gender issues | Gripes | Public Transportation | Teens | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When I'm Drunk
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We've been through so much together --four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I'm not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Bragging | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Friends | Idiots | Sorority types | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Hoochie-Skipper.
20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Feelings | Toys | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
As My Plaques and Trophies Will Attest
Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn't expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can't check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there's nothing equivalent. There's no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That's right. I have slapped lots of asses.
Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!
Categories: Ass | Bimbettes | Chicks | Default | Euphemisms | Friends | Gender issues | Guys | Penis | San Francisco | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or A-Rod's Rod
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
And Shoes. Don't Forget Shoes
High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Clothes | Default | Feelings | New Zealand | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Students | Teens | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to Meet a Gentleman Of the Old School
Dude: Hey I'm Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I'm Lauren*. We've met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other's name since we're talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Categories: Backdoor | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Etiquette | Florida | Guys | Names | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I'm having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don't get it?
Hot chick: What's there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don't get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa
College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait... No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy's the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they're both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam's the one with the small dick.
Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Gossip | Iowa | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Penis | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mmm, Faminelicious.
Chick: Brazilians are the bomb.
Dude: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can't afford food.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com" rel="external">www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Diet & weight | Food | Gender issues | Geography | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Fingers Are Itching Just Talking about Her
Chick #1: Well, Michelle got pissed because he touched her boob.
Chick #2: Normally I'd take her side, but Michelle is just so... gropable!
Queen's University at Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I'll never teee-eeell!
This Is a Funeral, Sarah
Chick: Man, I hate vacations! I always end up over-packing, and then I never get laid!
Kingston
Jamaica
I Just Need It to Happen before He Finds Jesus
Chick on cell: Well, they had their flaws, but you know what I mean... I was thinking about Mike last night. Oh, how I would like to get back with him now that I'm kind of looking for a relationship and he's not on speed anymore...
Oklahoma
Categories: Chicks | Compliments | Default | Drugs | Oklahoma | On the phone | Relationships | Wishes | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Bringin' "Rakish" Back
Chick: I'd worship Jesus if he had a rakish and amusing hat.
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
I'd Recommend against Frying Bacon, Though
Chick on cell: You can do that naked?!
Dude: Honey, you can do a lot of things naked.
Blockbuster Video
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Revulsion of People
Does a Shih Tzu Really Count?
Chick, breaking long silence: Look! An Asian!
Everyone on bus, in unison: Yay!
High school bus
Englewood, Colorado
It's Hard to Tell Who's Retarded and Who's Just Texan
Chick #1: Sarah took her retarded sister-in-law to the game last night. They ended up getting drunk and going to a strip club. She really is retarded.
Chick #2: Like, literally retarded?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, that sounds like an interesting night...
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wish I could've been there
The Best Pennsylvania Has to Offer
Thugette #1: Girl, you slept wif him?!
Thugette #2: I know -- he ugly and got crabs, but I made him buy me drugs first.
Thugette #1: True dat.
Campus shuttle, Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Categories: Black people | Chicks | Drugs | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smarter Friends Might Help
Girl #1: He has, like, ACD or something!
Girl #2: You mean 'OCD.'
Girl #3: No, you mean 'ADD.'
Girl #1: Wait, no. I meant depression. He has depression.
Wal-Mart
Syracuse, New York
Throw in a Vibrating Shower-Head and You've Got a Party
Girl: An Ambien in the shower is almost as good as a Screwdriver in the shower.
Lexington, Virginia
Overheard by: Kelly
Well, Why Didn't You Say So In The First Place
Girl on cell in busy hallway: Will you assholes shut up?! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend here!
Punk: When you get done breaking up with him, can I fuck you?
Girl on cell: No!
Punk: Not even anal?
Macomb Community College
Warren, Michigan
Since You Kept Leaving Lemons with Knives in Them on My Bed
Roommate #1, awkwardly: Hey, do you think we could talk about, um, what happened on Friday?
Roommate #2: Oh?
Roommate #1: We were in here, and you were saying that my board hasn't done anything yet and we're misusing student funds by going on a board retreat. Remember that?
Roommate #2: Oh.
Roommate: Well, then I got up and went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea...
Roommate #2: Okay...
Roommate #1: Well, I used Angie's* lemon juice right in front of you, and I think you saw me, and I was wondering if that offended you.
Roommate #2: No, I didn't even notice.
Roommate #1: Oh, okay... Good... Because it's been on my mind all weekend, and I just wanted to clear that up because it seemed like you were mad at me after that.
Canadia
I Knew I Should've Brought a Bigger Purse
Girl: Hold on -- my vagina's falling out.
Brookline Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: superjew
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Vagina | Posted 2008-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dennis Kucinich? Really?
Chick to friend: I'm telling you -- he's a communist leprechaun posing as a democrat!
Auburn, New York
So Don't Be Callin' Me "Jejune," Yo
Angry girl storming out of classroom: My mama ain't raise no adolescent!
High school
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Bre
Or Only Sleep with Men You Love
Girl #1: I just don't think I'll ever have sex without a condom.
Girl #2: Oh, please -- that's like saying you're going to wait until marriage.
Mia's Mexican Restaurant
Dallas, Texas
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Sex | Texas | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Wonder What Texas Sex Ed Classes Actually Teach about Homosexuality?
20-ish redhead: My life would have been so different if I had two gay dads.
20-ish brunette: They would have dressed you in ball gowns every day.
20-ish redhead: Can you imagine the Barbies I would have had?
20-ish brunette: Wow. You would have had all the Barbies.
20-ish redhead: Barbie would have come to my birthday parties.
20-ish brunette: Yes, but she would have been a man.
Houston, Texas
Categories: Chicks | Family ties | Gender issues | Texas | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Buy from Us Is to Be Royally Fucked
Cute chick on cell: No, I'm on my way to work. Come visit me there! ... No, it's not weird! ... Well, yeah, it's a sex shop, but it's a boutique sex shop!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Want her business card
Categories: Advice | Australia | Chicks | On the phone | Shopping | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hypothetically. If I Had Done It. Which I Didn't.
Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, 'Did you hook up with a homeless guy?' and I was all like, 'No, of course not! Never say that again!'
Best friend, laughing hard: I can't believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It's not a big deal.
Haight Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Friends | Preppies | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Rather Chafe Your Chimichanga
Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who's going to burn my taco?
Dallas-Fort Worth Airport
Texas
China: Give Us Time.
Korean girl: You know, I can't tell us apart, either.
Chinese girl: Yeah, I just think everyone's Chinese.
High school bathroom
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: slightly relieved
Many Girls Simply Take Refuge in Their Own Kind
Giggling coed looking at something in friend's purse: Think you have enough of those?
Friend: I know it looks bad, but I'm terribly allergic to male sperm.
Durango, Colorado
Um, Sweetie, We're Lesbians
Girl #1: I've been feeling so weird lately.
Girl #2: You're probably pregnant.
Girl #1: ... What?
Girl #2: I was kidding.
Girl #1: Oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck -- when was my last period?!
Piccadilly Line
London
England
Overheard by: BoogyFantastic
Categories: Chicks | England | Health & Hygiene | Pregnancy | Posted 2008-02-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I Whacked His Weed
Hot chick on cell: He kissed me teeth-first. It was like kissing a lawn mower.
Newark, Delaware
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Delaware | Gripes | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Accepts Loose Change Via PayPal
Chick: That guy's not a real bum -- he has a laptop!
Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Whitney Wrobel
A Spot-On Description of Ann Coulter
Girl: She's like a horny guy, only not horny and not a guy.
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Gossip | Stupidity | Posted 2008-01-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And She'd Fallen Asleep at the Wheel.
Girl: Hey! How are you? Anything new and exciting?
Friend: I got rear-ended while driving yesterday because a woman was receiving oral sex.
Kalamazoo College
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Aw, Man, I'm Always Bringing Up the Rear
Girl to two guys: So, who has the smaller cock?
Guy #1: Oh, me.
Girl: You can fuck me in the ass.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Doug
And That I'm Getting a Free Dinner
Man to girl he's trying to hit on: [Flashes American Express card] What does this mean to you?
Girl: ... It means you're a douche.
Edendale Grill
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Insults | Jerks | Posted 2008-01-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Now Require an Itemized List
Chick on boat at company party: So, your brother-in-law inherited the porn collection of a dead man? ... Okay, just making sure I understood what we were talking about.
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: stuck on a boat
... While Mine's in the Shop
Chick to friend: Man, you've gotta get laid. I need to live vicariously through someone's vagina.
Village Inn
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Tabs
Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear/ Who Had Almost No Penis There
Girl in bar: He's a big, harmless teddy bear who has sex with people in their sleep.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Mike K
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Massachusetts | Sex | Posted 2008-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Worse, Pussy-Whipped
Girl arguing with boyfriend on speaker phone: I hope you get herpes and get pistol-whipped! [Guy's friend giggles in background.] Is that Nate? I hope he gets herpes and pistol-whipped, too!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Chicks | Insults | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-01-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks for Telling Me What to Think Again
Girl reading TIME magazine: Do you think Michael Jackson looks kinda hot in this picture?
Friend: No, definitely not.
Girl, after a pause: Yeah, I don't either.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: bradlea
Categories: About celebrities | California | Chicks | Posted 2008-01-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Was Like, "I Made My Choice"
Midget girl: So, I'm trying to talk to him, but he wouldn't stop checking out my body, and I'm like, 'Hello! My eyes are down here.'
San Francisco State University
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ottsel
Categories: Body parts | California | Chicks | Gossip | San Francisco | Posted 2008-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Marry Me.
Chick on cell: I love not wearing panties! It makes me almost as hot as that time the cable company gave us free porn for a week!
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: Sportin' drawers
Hey, Baby, How about a Little Doing Unto Others?
Blonde to bartender, about explicit music video on TV: Will you turn that off?! It's offensive! [To friend] I am way too fucking Christian for that shit!
Scruffy Murphy's Pub
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: bystander that was enjoying the video
Bet She's Barrels of Fun in Bed
Girl #1: Come on! Let's go!
Girl #2, drinking her milkshake: Could you just be quiet for a minute? I'm kinda in the middle of an orgasm!
Fast food joint
Fairfax, California
Overheard by: slovett
Categories: California | Chicks | Food | Orgasm | Posted 2008-01-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Each Is Unique, Like a Snowflake
Girl to another: We'll figure it out. I'll Facebook your ass or something.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Internet | Overheard at York | Posted 2008-01-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For a Full Ten Minutes
Chick #1: I mean, just 'cause I do it doesn't mean I do it fast.
Chick #2: Yeah! Like, I used to date my Chemistry TA.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2008-01-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Jimmy Dean Satisfies in the Kitchen and the Bedroom
Girl: ... And so everyday I was like, 'I just want some of that big sausage!'
University of Ottawa
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Lizzie
When Did You Start Making Popcorn?
Girl, after looking at friend's credit card: Wait, I always thought Orville* was your fake name.
Friend: Oh, honey, I have plenty of fake names, but 'Orville' is real. My family calls me J.R., though, because I'm the junior.
Girl: Oh! So Orville is your dad's nickname, too? That's weird!
Starbucks
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Chicks | Names | Washington | Posted 2008-01-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Now I Know How My Bukkake Partners Feel
Girl to friend: I feel like a giant pen... that spilt its ink on the world.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Overheard by: Yours truly
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at BU | Philosophy | Posted 2008-01-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Actually, They're Only Perfect If She Blows
Blonde: Even though he had already made a trail of hickies around my neck, he was apparently still in the sucking mood, because then he stole my lollipop!
Friend: That's so not cool. He's such a suck-o-holic!
Blonde: Seriously! I'm beginning to think there isn't anything he won't suck.
Passerby: Well, then you're perfect for each other, because I've heard the same thing about you.
Mt. Vernon, Iowa
Overheard by: Abby
I Sang "Auld Land Syne"
Girl to boy: What did you say when your balls dropped? 'Well, that's different!'
40th and Sansom Streets
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Felt Good to Be Different from the English
Artsy girl #1: Hey, remember that time in London when we both thought we had scabies, but we didn't?
Artsy girl #2, sighing: That was one of the best days of my life!
Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hiding my laughter in the photo lab
Categories: Chicks | Diet & weight | Memory lane | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-01-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know I'm Allergic
Chick #1: Look, I'm wearing orange!
Chick #2: Fuck you! You just did that to piss me off, didn't you?!
Chick #1: Yeah...
Downers Grove, Illinois
None of Your Fancy Airs and Graces for Us
Girl #1: I'm Jewish.
Girl #2: I'm Catholic.
Girl #3: I'm Christian.
Girl #2: What kind of Christian?
Girl #3: Plain. Plain Christian.
Freedom Center
Manassas, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused Counselor
Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?
Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don't eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I've always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left... this.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: sistersaywhat
Categories: Chicks | Fruit | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2008-01-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Structural Engineers Unwind
Girl: That orgy was like Legos -- anyone and everyone on top of each other! You didn't know what was what, who was who, where someone began or where did they end. It was just a big pile of human building blocks of pleasure.
Wonka Bar
Curitiba
Brazil
Chimney: Hey, I Only Smoke When I Drink
Hyper girl: He smokes more cigarettes than a chimney!
Main Street
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: velvin
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Smoking | Posted 2007-12-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yeah, Babies Are a Lot of Trouble
Girl behind counter: Someone needs to tape his ass together, because he is loose. He is like grandma-and-whiskey loose.
Tattoo parlor
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: switching to vodka
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Poop | Posted 2007-12-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
An "F." Why?
Sophomore girl: Yeah, I had Mr. Jacobs* last year, and he had a retarded accent. He said, 'I am from Wales,' and I said, 'Hehe, screw you!'
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Might Be Better Just to Stalk Him
Girl #1: I wish I was sick and he would come visit me... Like Make-a-Wish.
Girl #2: You're saying you want cancer so Heath Ledger will come visit you?
Girl #1: No! ... Kinda...
Laguna Hills, California
Overheard by: me too
Categories: About celebrities | California | Chicks | Maladies | Posted 2007-12-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The "My Little Pony" Gang Is More Vicious Than You'd Think
Chick #1: Oh my god, Latonya! You should've written down 'Bubbles'!
Chick #2: Bubbles?
Latonya: Yeah, that's my gangster name. I know it's not tough, but I still like it!
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: male student reluctantly forced into a group
She's Just Jealous because I Can Rest Snacks on Top of It
Ghetto girl: Did you know that half my weight is in my ass?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: You have a ghetto booty?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I went to the doctor's and he said, 'Yo, half your weight is in your ass,' and my mother laughed her head off.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
And They'll Feel Comfortable in Me
20-ish girl: I suppose, but only if I can dress like a whore. That way, I'll feel comfortable in my surroundings.
Disney World
Florida
It's Directly Correlated with Whiteness, Except in New Jersey
College chick: You cannot do a scientific study to see which city is the least gangster!
Rally's
Charleston, West Virginia
Overheard by: gudo
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | West Virginia | Posted 2007-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just More Large Aquatic Rodents
Lady: Used to be that only muskrats wanted to live in swamps. Nowadays only executives do.
Shout-out: www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com
Overheard by: wl
Categories: Chicks | Insults | Overheard in Inchtown | Posted 2007-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And We've Got Both on Our Scavenger Hunt List
Girl: So, it's like this -- a slut is a girl who says, 'Look at my boobies,' but a whore is a girl who says, 'Touch my boobies.'
Friends: [Silence.]
Eleanor Roosevelt High School
Corona, California
Overheard by: trying to watch a performance
Categories: California | Chicks | Education | Words | Posted 2007-12-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Those Axe Ads Get Straight to the Point
Hurried lady, panting after running onto train: Smell like men in here!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: r2rider
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Wish for World Peace, but I'm Boring
College girl #1: You know that Make-a-Wish Foundation? I wonder what I would wish for if I was given the chance.
College girl #2: My wish would be for someone to make a cake in the shape of my body... with my face on it... And that the Spice Girls would come and help me eat it.
College girl #1: Oooh, that's a good wish.
London
England
He Was Badly Burned in the Ensuing Explosion
Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn't allowed back.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Etiquette | Gripes | Posted 2007-12-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Chronically Relaxed
Girl #1: It would just never occur to me to get a massage to relax or de-stress, you know?
Girl #2 absentmindedly: That's because you're an alcoholic.
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Posted 2007-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At the Algonquin Round Table
Chick #1: Are you drunk?
Chick #2: Just a little. I only had two drinks!
Chick #1: What about you?
Chick #3: No, I ate a pot brownie! I made them all by myself! I'm so proud!
O'Colly newsroom, Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma
Overheard by: The Designated Driver
Categories: Chicks | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Oklahoma | Posted 2007-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Geez, You Better
Girl to friends: Did he use a condom? No, never mind, you don't use a condom when you're fucking grapefruit.
Montreal
Canadia
My Manager Hardly Slaps My Ass Anymore
Hot girl with big boobs, to friend: Ugh... I shouldn't have worn this shirt. [Lowers voice] Everyone's looking...
Middle-aged cashier: You should appreciate them. I had a husband who would pop mine out at football games. It made me so angry, but now I'd love for someone to appreciate mine enough that he'd want to show the world my beauty.
Publix
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: guy behind them
... With Grandma
Daughter: How's Bob doing?
Mother: He's alive.
Daughter: Well, that's good. We can't have a dead cat on our front porch.
Spokane, Washington
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Death & dying | Washington | Posted 2007-12-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Bought My Sore Anal Cavity a Box of Chocolates the Next Day
Young woman: He was really sweet about the butt sex... If it's possible to be sweet about butt sex.
Windermere, Florida
Overheard by: I think that's entirely possible...
All That Talk of Stakes...
High school girl #1: That guy in front of us is pretty hot.
High school girl #2: I thought that, too, until I realized he was touching himself during the play.
High school girl #1: What?!
High school girl #2: Yeah. I guess the Salem Witch Trials turn him on.
Intermission of The Crucible
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: the dude was a freshman.
Categories: Chicks | Getting off | Tennessee | Posted 2007-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bed, Bath, and Beat-Offs?
Chick #1: A woman came up to me and said there was a guy beating off into the dress.
Chick #2: Really?!
Chick #1: Sure enough, I walked over and his pants were around his ankles.
Guy passerby: Where the hell do you work?
Omaha, Nebraska
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Masturbation | Nebraska | Posted 2007-12-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Wet the Bed One Too Many Times
Woman: My sister and I slept together in the same bed until we were three. That was when she tried to light the house on fire.
Dalai Lama public speech, Olympic Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Alice
Categories: Chicks | Family ties | Georgia | Gossip | Posted 2007-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But He Gave Me an A on the Midterm, So I Looked the Other Way
Chick: ... And he was so dorky that he, like, mistook my ass for my vagina and he started fingering it, and I was like, 'Oh, he's a pro,' but then I realized and was like, '... Oh...'
Shout-out: overheardatyale.blogspot.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Categories: Backdoor | Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Yale | Posted 2007-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
With Matchbox Cars Squirting All Over the Bedroom
Woman #1: I'm kind of bionic like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, it's like you have a bionic uterus!
Harvard Medical School
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad mine's not bionic
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Uterus | Posted 2007-12-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus, I Finally Had That Baby
Chick #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Chick #2: It was really fun -- my wart fell off!
Chick #1: Really? How?
Chick #2: I don't know! It just fell off. It was the best weekend ever!
Charleston, South Carolina
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | South Carolina | Posted 2007-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Placenta
Skinny teen: Get over here, Uterus!
Pregnant girl: I'm coming!
MITS Bus
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Emma
Whatever Would Assure You I'm Not a Stalker
Girl on date: That's what I don't understand about dating -- if I really like someone, I'm not going to wait to call them. Like, I would totally call you tomorrow.
Boy on date: [Silence.]
Girl on date: Or, you know, whenever...
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Andrea P.
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Utah | Posted 2007-12-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Still Can't Believe I Dated Him
Chick: ... And then the party, like, totally got out of control -- they wanted to put firecrackers in the snake tank! And then my dad kicked everyone out. He didn't actually say anything, he just draped the snake over his shoulders and walked around looking at people with, like, six feet of snake on him.
Friend: Is this one of those stories about how your dad is a bad influence?
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia
Tall, Dark, and Bloodshot
Marathon runner #1: Yeah, I really like him, but he's been in rehab since he was fourteen.
Marathon runner #2: All the best ones are.
Nike Women's Marathon
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl was running with them just to hear this conversation
Categories: California | Chicks | Gripes | San Francisco | Posted 2007-12-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Everybody Is on the Phone All the Time
Chick #1: Sometimes when I call a lot of people in a row and no one answers, I wonder if I could be dead and just not know it.
Chick #2: Well, it does happen...
Lafayette, Louisiana
Overheard by: Stephanie
Categories: Chicks | Louisiana | Philosophy | Posted 2007-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Has Two Towers
High school girl: Yeah, he's cute, but in a kind of Lord of the Rings way.
Starbucks, Bloor Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Myrna
Sleepy's Always Been the Most Mysterious of the Dwarves
Girl #1: So... He's gay?
Girl #2: Well, I'm not sure if he's gay so much as he just, like, sleeps with anything that moves.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Laura Bush and Lynne Cheney Pop Out for a Smoke
Ciggy #1: The time you and I went and bought cigarettes -- was that the night you went in a toga?
Ciggy #2: Haha, oh my god, yes! Oh, wait... Was that the lesbian night?
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Leisure | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That, and "Stop Peeing on My Foot."
Thug: Damn, mami -- look at them curves on you!
Ethnic chick: Sorry, boys, I have an arranged marriage. I'm kind of tied down to my fiancé [shows ring].
Thug: Come on, mami, let us sit down.
Blonde sorority girl #1: Sorry, gentlemen, we're just trying to eat our food here. God bless. [Thugs look at her awkwardly and walk away.]
Blonde sorority girl #2, very confused: Why did you just say 'God bless' to them?
Blonde sorority girl #1: What? It's what you say to homeless people.
Leo's Coney Island
Birmingham, Michigan
Overheard by: Jamie
I Know -- I'm Going to Marry That Man
Girl in stall #1: So, how did last night go?
Girl in stall #2: It was alright, I guess...
Girl in stall #1: What happened?
Girl in stall #2: He had hands like a fucking gorilla. He mangled my vagina.
Girl in stall #1: ... Oh my god.
Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: That sounds awful...
Categories: Body parts | Chicks | Florida | Posted 2007-12-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because Two Self-Centered Bitches Repel
Girl #1: I don't really like Kate.
Girl #2: Watch what you say about her -- she's my best friend!
Girl #1: Oh, sorry, I didn't realize.
Girl #2: Yeah, we're really close... Except for when she's being a self-centered bitch.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: That's what I call loyalty
Not Until Lindsay Lohan Steps Down
Chick to friend: Well, it's not as if you were ever going to be elected president of the cock fan club, now was it?
Melbourne University
Australia
Overheard by: Wylis
Which May Be Why He's Sleeping with Me
Chick: Okay, so here's the story -- I don't know what to do about my crackhead boyfriend. He's, like, seriously on crack...
Friend: I really think you're over-thinking everything...
Green line bus, University of Connecticut
Storrs, Connecticut
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Connecticut | Gripes | Posted 2007-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then I Gave You a Carrot and Brushed Your Hair
Girl #1: Well, did you at least say thank you for the ride?
Girl #2, looking at #3: Well, you rode me. What do you say?
Girl #3: I enjoyed the ride!
Central Washington University
Ellensburg, Washington
Categories: Chicks | Etiquette | Washington | Posted 2007-11-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Poor Maggie Gyllenhaal
Chick #1: Was she cute?
Chick #2: No, she was fugs! She looked like an anorexic bear. You know, like, at the circus? One of the ones that are tortured... And forced to wear party hats.
Red Line train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I totally know what you mean...
We Have Our Orgies through Holes in a Sheet
Mormon girl #1: I totally can't believe we just did that. I love it.
Mormon girl #2: We're so scandalous.
Mormon girl #1: Well... We're scandalous in an appropriate way.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: jules