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Does...Not...Compute...
Chick #1: She doesn't even *want* to get married!
Chick #2: And she's not a ho?
Starbucks, Pacific Center
Daly City, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: California | Chicks | Questions | Relationships | Restaurants | Sexuality | Wishes | Posted 2008-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Bright, White Light, on the Other Hand...
Gamer dude: ... and the game comes with like, real guns.
Wannabe goth chick: They're actual guns?
Gamer dude: Well like, real models. And it comes with this mirror that lets you see yourself and like, shows what you look like if you get shot in the face.
Wannabe goth chick: That's nice. That's not something you would normally get to see if you got shot in the face.
UAB
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Kitty-Jack
Categories: Alabama | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Death & dying | Games | Goths | Guys | Violence | Posted 2008-05-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Is What Happens When Harry Potter Fans Grow Up
Extremely drunk chick crying: I love him so much and he doesn't even know! He's my soulmate.
Exasperated sober chick: He's fictional!
Armory Square
Syracuse, New York
Do Girls Have Penises? Discuss
[Chick #1 drops purse, condom falls out.]
Chick #2: [Hands it back.] I didn't know you had a penis.
Chick #1: I'm just being prepared.
Chick #2: In case you grow a penis?
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Couldn't You Just Ask for the Air-speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
Bouncer: I don't know... Do you have another piece of ID on you?
Blonde: No, but go ahead, ask me anything!
Bouncer: Why don't your shoes match your skirt?
London, Ontario
Canadia
Instead I Politely Smell Your Crotch
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That's a very personal question. That's like if I asked you, "Has it started yet?"
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Categories: California | Chicks | Comebacks | Education | Etiquette | Gender issues | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Relationships | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Tweens | Posted 2008-04-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Soon As We Get On, I'm Grabbing a Pole and Ripping Them Off
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn't let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Clothes | Colorado | Family ties | Gender issues | Gripes | Public Transportation | Teens | Posted 2008-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Only When I'm Drunk
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We've been through so much together --four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I'm not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Categories: Bragging | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Feelings | Friends | Idiots | Sorority types | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Hoochie-Skipper.
20-something in pink heels, on a Saturday afternoon: God, I'm like frickin walk of shame Barbie right now.
eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Feelings | Toys | Posted 2008-04-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had a Roommate Who Bleached the Bathroom Three Times a Week. True Story
Chick on cell phone: My roommate was rolling a lint roller all over her head for like ten minutes and finally I was like: "What the fuck are you doing? You're gonna pull all your hair out!" ... Haha yeah... She threatened to kill me if I asked her anymore questions... She probably watches me sleep.
UB Bus
Buffalo, New York
As My Plaques and Trophies Will Attest
Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn't expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can't check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there's nothing equivalent. There's no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That's right. I have slapped lots of asses.
Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!
Categories: Ass | Bimbettes | Chicks | Default | Euphemisms | Friends | Gender issues | Guys | Penis | San Francisco | Sexuality | Posted 2008-04-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or A-Rod's Rod
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn't even see Derek Jeter's ass! ... Or anyone's ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
And Shoes. Don't Forget Shoes
High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Clothes | Default | Feelings | New Zealand | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Students | Teens | Posted 2008-04-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Good to Meet a Gentleman Of the Old School
Dude: Hey I'm Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I'm Lauren*. We've met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other's name since we're talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Categories: Backdoor | Bars & Clubs | Chicks | Default | Etiquette | Florida | Guys | Names | Relationships | Posted 2008-04-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Require Further Explanation, You Definitely Need to Attend.
Hot chick: I'm having a fantasia party; I made it a facebook event: Are you going to come?
Clueless girl: Whats a fantasia party?
Hot chick: Its for like chicks only, you hang out, drink and buy naughty stuff.
Clueless girl: I don't get it?
Hot chick: What's there to get? You come to my place, get drunk and buy sexy, naughty things?
Clueless girl: I still don't get it.
Hot chick: Holy fuck! Its like a Tupperware party -only with dildos!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Make Mine 9 Inches!
Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa
College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait... No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy's the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they're both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam's the one with the small dick.
Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bimbettes | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Gossip | Iowa | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Penis | Sexuality | Students | Posted 2008-04-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mmm, Faminelicious.
Chick: Brazilians are the bomb.
Dude: Eastern European chicks are always sooo hot because they can't afford food.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com" rel="external">www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Diet & weight | Food | Gender issues | Geography | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Fingers Are Itching Just Talking about Her
Chick #1: Well, Michelle got pissed because he touched her boob.
Chick #2: Normally I'd take her side, but Michelle is just so... gropable!
Queen's University at Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: I'll never teee-eeell!
This Is a Funeral, Sarah
Chick: Man, I hate vacations! I always end up over-packing, and then I never get laid!
Kingston
Jamaica
I Just Need It to Happen before He Finds Jesus
Chick on cell: Well, they had their flaws, but you know what I mean... I was thinking about Mike last night. Oh, how I would like to get back with him now that I'm kind of looking for a relationship and he's not on speed anymore...
Oklahoma
Categories: Chicks | Compliments | Default | Drugs | Oklahoma | On the phone | Relationships | Wishes | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's Bringin' "Rakish" Back
Chick: I'd worship Jesus if he had a rakish and amusing hat.
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
I'd Recommend against Frying Bacon, Though
Chick on cell: You can do that naked?!
Dude: Honey, you can do a lot of things naked.
Blockbuster Video
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: Revulsion of People
Does a Shih Tzu Really Count?
Chick, breaking long silence: Look! An Asian!
Everyone on bus, in unison: Yay!
High school bus
Englewood, Colorado
It's Hard to Tell Who's Retarded and Who's Just Texan
Chick #1: Sarah took her retarded sister-in-law to the game last night. They ended up getting drunk and going to a strip club. She really is retarded.
Chick #2: Like, literally retarded?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, that sounds like an interesting night...
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wish I could've been there
The Best Pennsylvania Has to Offer
Thugette #1: Girl, you slept wif him?!
Thugette #2: I know -- he ugly and got crabs, but I made him buy me drugs first.
Thugette #1: True dat.
Campus shuttle, Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Categories: Black people | Chicks | Drugs | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Smarter Friends Might Help
Girl #1: He has, like, ACD or something!
Girl #2: You mean 'OCD.'
Girl #3: No, you mean 'ADD.'
Girl #1: Wait, no. I meant depression. He has depression.
Wal-Mart
Syracuse, New York
Throw in a Vibrating Shower-Head and You've Got a Party
Girl: An Ambien in the shower is almost as good as a Screwdriver in the shower.
Lexington, Virginia
Overheard by: Kelly
Well, Why Didn't You Say So In The First Place
Girl on cell in busy hallway: Will you assholes shut up?! I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my boyfriend here!
Punk: When you get done breaking up with him, can I fuck you?
Girl on cell: No!
Punk: Not even anal?
Macomb Community College
Warren, Michigan
Since You Kept Leaving Lemons with Knives in Them on My Bed
Roommate #1, awkwardly: Hey, do you think we could talk about, um, what happened on Friday?
Roommate #2: Oh?
Roommate #1: We were in here, and you were saying that my board hasn't done anything yet and we're misusing student funds by going on a board retreat. Remember that?
Roommate #2: Oh.
Roommate: Well, then I got up and went into the kitchen and made myself a cup of lemon and honey tea...
Roommate #2: Okay...
Roommate #1: Well, I used Angie's* lemon juice right in front of you, and I think you saw me, and I was wondering if that offended you.
Roommate #2: No, I didn't even notice.
Roommate #1: Oh, okay... Good... Because it's been on my mind all weekend, and I just wanted to clear that up because it seemed like you were mad at me after that.
Canadia
I Knew I Should've Brought a Bigger Purse
Girl: Hold on -- my vagina's falling out.
Brookline Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: superjew
Categories: Chicks | Massachusetts | Vagina | Posted 2008-02-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dennis Kucinich? Really?
Chick to friend: I'm telling you -- he's a communist leprechaun posing as a democrat!
Auburn, New York
So Don't Be Callin' Me "Jejune," Yo
Angry girl storming out of classroom: My mama ain't raise no adolescent!
High school
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Bre
Or Only Sleep with Men You Love
Girl #1: I just don't think I'll ever have sex without a condom.
Girl #2: Oh, please -- that's like saying you're going to wait until marriage.
Mia's Mexican Restaurant
Dallas, Texas
Categories: Chicks | Philosophy | Sex | Texas | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ever Wonder What Texas Sex Ed Classes Actually Teach about Homosexuality?
20-ish redhead: My life would have been so different if I had two gay dads.
20-ish brunette: They would have dressed you in ball gowns every day.
20-ish redhead: Can you imagine the Barbies I would have had?
20-ish brunette: Wow. You would have had all the Barbies.
20-ish redhead: Barbie would have come to my birthday parties.
20-ish brunette: Yes, but she would have been a man.
Houston, Texas
Categories: Chicks | Family ties | Gender issues | Texas | Posted 2008-02-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Buy from Us Is to Be Royally Fucked
Cute chick on cell: No, I'm on my way to work. Come visit me there! ... No, it's not weird! ... Well, yeah, it's a sex shop, but it's a boutique sex shop!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Want her business card
Categories: Advice | Australia | Chicks | On the phone | Shopping | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hypothetically. If I Had Done It. Which I Didn't.
Private school girl: Did I tell you what Jane* asked me?
Best friend: No.
Private school girl: She was all like, 'Did you hook up with a homeless guy?' and I was all like, 'No, of course not! Never say that again!'
Best friend, laughing hard: I can't believe you did that!
Private school girl: What, hooked up with a homeless guy? It's not a big deal.
Haight Street
San Francisco, California
Categories: California | Chicks | Friends | Preppies | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-02-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Rather Chafe Your Chimichanga
Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who's going to burn my taco?
Dallas-Fort Worth Airport
Texas
China: Give Us Time.
Korean girl: You know, I can't tell us apart, either.
Chinese girl: Yeah, I just think everyone's Chinese.
High school bathroom
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: slightly relieved
Many Girls Simply Take Refuge in Their Own Kind
Giggling coed looking at something in friend's purse: Think you have enough of those?
Friend: I know it looks bad, but I'm terribly allergic to male sperm.
Durango, Colorado
Categories: Chicks |