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Think They'll Let Us Go Back and Look for Your Ass, or What?
Black lady #1, after riding Superman: Did you sit on them tree sides?
Black lady #2: No, I didn't.
Black lady #1: You should've! You could see them motherfuckin' trees! And I was like "what the fuck!" I mean, I was cussing my ass off!
Black lady #2: So that was you?
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emma
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Gripes | Missouri | Sensory experiences | Posted 2011-08-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Original Screenplay for Waiting to Exhale Left Something to Be Desired
Gay white male, exiting train: I can only go ten stops without smoking a cigarette, otherwise I get angry!
Old black female, entering train: Damn, mo' sugar in here than a tank of Kool-Aid.
Orange Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic C62
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Gays | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Smoking | Posted 2011-07-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Call Me Tweedle Diva
Fat black chick: Yo, real women got curves, nigga.
Black queer: Yeah, bitch, curves. You only got one big curve! (traces circle in air)
Bus
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Dropper of Eaves
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Bragging | Comebacks | Florida | Gays | Posted 2011-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cunt Remember a Thing
Pretty black girlfriend with super long hair: I have no vaginal memory.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Categories: Black people | Girls | Memory lane | New York | Vagina | Weirdness | Posted 2011-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Queen Latifah Never Looked Back
Black girl in workout clothes: So I googled it.
Overweight friend: Googled what?
Black girl in workout clothes: The human skeleton is 20% of your body weight.
Overweight friend: So what?
Black girl in workout clothes: Sooo... Without that, I only weigh like a hundred pounds or something.
Overweight friend: (confused look)
Black girl in workout clothes: I'm just saying I'm not fat anymore.
Michigan
Overheard by: It's that simple?
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Fat people | Girls | Michigan | Stupidity | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
First Time in Massachusetts, Sweetie?
Black girl, after seeing renaissance a cappella group rehearsing: White people be doing the most ridiculous things! No offense...
Williams College
Williamstown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: None taken
Categories: Black people | Girls | Massachusetts | Music | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2011-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Crime Really Doesn't Pay
Black guy on side of street to car passing slowly in traffic: Yo, I see you, don' need to roll ya window up, it's just a Honda, only get three stacks for it at the chop shop. (to friends) Shit, I get in the car and have you drive to the ATM machine, pop ya in the face, get ya pin number, withdraw $500. Receipt comes out 'insufficient funds'. Now I got to kill you.
Miami, Florida
Female Blacknerds Can Afford to Be Picky in Choosing a Mate
Hot, black female nerd on phone: No, I don't need you to explain to me why Batman can't be Asian. That's a conversation we only need to have once.
Connecticut
Overheard by: Bruce Lee Wayne
Categories: About celebrities | Black people | Connecticut | On the phone | Race | Relationships | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Mean You're Bringing Potato Salad Instead?
African-American man on phone: Well, now, you just bring your hair... and you be on your way.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: serial forgetter of hair
Categories: Black people | Hair | Offers and requests | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Weirdness | Posted 2010-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Don't Even Get Me Started on Mullets.
Loud black guy at pharmacy counter to friend: You know why they got that, right? (points to sign about restrictions on liquid cough medicine sales) Cos people are using them to make methamphetamine. Mm-hmm, if you mix that up you can make methamphetamine. (looks around, whispers to friend, they laugh) You don't see any brothers doing that shit, that's all I'm saying.
CVS
New Rochelle, New York
Categories: Black people | Customers | Drugs | Health & Hygiene | New York | Shopping | Posted 2010-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Said I Hated Black People Enough for Both Of Us
Black guy to white girl: I hate black people!
White girl: You hate yourself?
Black guy: No. I just hate black people. They're always late. And they tell me to wear my pants down. I made friends with a white supremacist.
White girl: But they hate you!
Black guy: He liked me...
Norman, Oklahoma
...That's Sick!
Tiny black girl: And then I had to have Buckley's, and you know what? It tastes exactly like jizz.
Asian girl, perplexed: You've had Buckley's?
Pub
Toronto
Canadia
Categories: Asians | Bars & Clubs | Black people | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Cum | Health & Hygiene | Questions | Sensory experiences | Posted 2010-09-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...When He Learns to Make a Decent Sandwich.
Black girl #1: He made me a BLT with avocado.
Black girl #2: And then he passed out?
Black girl #1: No. First, I told him to bang me like a screen door in a hurricane, then he passed out.
Black girl #2: You're always stressing out that skinny white boy.
Black girl #1: Haha, yeah. I should marry him.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Categories: Black people | Connecticut | Food | Health & Hygiene | Offers and requests | Relationships | Sex | Posted 2010-09-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're Too Kind, Madame
Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.
C Train
Paris
France
Overheard by: BBM Tm
Categories: Black people | Candy | Cleanliness | Compare and contrast | Family | France | Kids | Moms | Sensory experiences | Strangers | Train | Posted 2010-08-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Are You Doing in Community College?
Black guy: Hey! What country you from?
Asian girl: Um... America?
Black guy: You look Chinese.
Asian girl: I am?
Community College
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Categories: Asians | Black people | Colleges & Universities | Illinois | Questions | Race | Posted 2010-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let a Toothless Smile Be Your Umbrella
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: God, I hate this weather!
Young black passenger: Man, I love this weather! The rain is good.
20-something Puerto Rican female passenger: I want sunshine!
Young black passenger: No, man, the rain is great... It's perfect meth weather.
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mia Coleman
Categories: Black people | Bus | Drugs | Feelings | Gripes | Latinas | Washington | Weather | Wishes | Posted 2010-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And When Did "Baby Got Back" Become a Wedding Song?
Black 20-something guy to friend: Sir Mix-a-Lot killed more black people in the 90s than heart disease and Aids combined.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: I know his pain
Categories: Arizona | Black people | Compare and contrast | Friends | Maladies | Murder | Race | Posted 2010-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus I Feel a Little Gay Riding a Log
Intimidating black man on log flume: This ain't no romantic cruise!
Busch Gardens, Florida
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Feelings | Florida | Thugs | Posted 2010-05-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They're Like the IPhones Of People!
Tall black girl with fauxhawk: I don't know why everyone doesn't have an Asian fetish! They're pocket sized and stunning!
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Connecticut | Fashion | Hair | Posted 2010-05-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Need To-- Ever Seen a White Baby?
Asian kid: We don't do a lot of jumping around.
Black kid: Except in the wars, when Chuck Norris has lots of babies.
Asian kid: And white people are marrying everyone.
Babson College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bruce
Categories: About celebrities | Asians | Black people | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Race | Weirdness | Posted 2010-04-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And, in That Moment, I Fell a Little Bit More in Love with Him
Big black lady on cell, while eating: No, girl, you don't even know! He actually said, "do you have a beer in your pocket? Cuz I'd really like to get in yo' pants!"
Irving, Texas
Overheard by: cherryindallas
Categories: Black people | Etiquette | Fat people | On the phone | Questions | Sex | Texas | Posted 2010-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Weirdest Episode Of Sesame Street *Ever*
30-something black man on cell: I don't know if I'll finish in time, but I think I can still make it work.
20-something black guy walking past: It's "ain't". As in "I ain't gonna get this shit done, so fuck all y'all!" Damn! You talkin' like a fool, brotha. (shakes head)
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Education | Georgia | On the phone | Race | Words | Posted 2010-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Deejays Moonlight
Big black woman acting as bathroom attendant: Welcome, beautiful ladies, to the best urination station in the nation! A big pee at the Big E! Stall 5 is open! Okay, we've got a full house, so I wanna hear some flushin'! Ma'am, go to numba 2, let it flow through! Pee as comfortably as you can, cause we all know this place was built by a man! The stalls are too small, haha!
Bathroom, Big E Fairgrounds
Springfield, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Gender issues | Massachusetts | Pee | Restroom | Posted 2010-03-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which, Ironically, Would Be a Good Title for a Country Song
Black girl to white friends: Black people want to be country, but we don't want to listen to the music.
Harvard Yard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: meems
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Music | Race | Posted 2010-03-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bed, Bath and Beyoobies Stives to Be Inclusive
Crazy black guy, very loudly to himself: That's the factory where they make gay people, but I don't care, because that's also where they make boobies!
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Rack | Sexuality | Virginia | Posted 2010-02-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Do, Ashley?
Black clerk: You have no idea what it's like to be a black man and be coughed on.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: lesly
Categories: Black people | Feelings | Overheard Lines | Weirdness | Posted 2010-02-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Was Like, "This Is a Job Interview, Tanya."
Black teen girl to friend: He was like "you're so high you don't even know what to do!" and I was like "nigga, this ain't the first time I smoked!"
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Hancock
I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis
Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!
High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Overheard by: The teacher
Categories: Animals | Black people | Compare and contrast | Fat people | Health & Hygiene | Michigan | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Sort Of Like Reparations...
Black woman, chuckling gleefully at bad financial news on tv: Oh, some white folks gon' kill themselves now!
Medical Office Waiting Room
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Ashleigh
Categories: Black people | Death & dying | Doctor's office | Race | TV shows | Virginia | Women | Posted 2009-11-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who's Black and White and Back from the Dead All Over?
Black girl, holding up picture she drew of black Jesus: My hero is Jesus Christ.
White kid: Jesus isn't black.
Black girl: Yes, he is!
White kid: No, he's white!
Uncomfortable teacher: Now, now, let's just say Jesus is all colors!
Art Class, Middle School
Maryland
Categories: Black people | Education | Jesus | Maryland | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Whiteys | Posted 2009-11-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Train Is Like the Hotel California, Beeyotch.
Black woman #1: I hate when people wait to the last minute to try and get off at a stop.
Black woman #2: Mmm-hmm.
Black woman #1: I don't let them past if they try to do that shit.
Black woman #2: What you do?
Black woman #1: I'll push their mothafuckin' ass back on the train!
Subway
New York City
Categories: Ass | Black people | Gripes | Insults | New York | Public Transportation | Train | Violence | Women | Posted 2009-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Maybe a Blowjob or Two
Black teen employee to teen girl employee: Some of these people, they want to get to know you and make a connection, and I'm like, "man, I don't want to be your friend, I just want to give you a towel."
Marino Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Coworkers | Jobs & Careers | Massachusetts | Teens | Wishes | Posted 2009-08-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Love the New Razr Phone
Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it's thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I'll show you!
High School
Skillman, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they're talking about.
Categories: Black people | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Penis | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Weirdness | Posted 2009-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Eventually I Quit My Job and Began Living Off the Settlements
Black man jaywalking into oncoming traffic: I always loved playing in traffic. Ever since I was little. There's something wrong with me, man!
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: reluctant scrantonian
Categories: Age and ageing | Black people | Pennsylvania | Stupidity | Posted 2009-07-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Is That Like Asking a Black Guy to Tap Dance? Discuss.
Muscular black man: I'm like, "if you're going to be gay around me, you have to at least be funny."
St. Thomas
Virgin Islands
Categories: Advice | Black people | Central America | Gym rats | Sexuality | Posted 2009-07-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Israelis Will Even Give You an Argument About That
Drunk black gangster guy, on Tel Aviv centennial celebration: I am Moses! I am Moses!
(traffic light changes, he throws arms up in air) Israelis, you may now walk!
Tel Aviv
Israel
Overheard by: E-lad
Categories: Black people | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Israel | Religion | Stupidity | Thugs | Posted 2009-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...So No Standards Apply to You
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Education | Overheard at Yale | Race | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2009-07-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just the Check Then?
Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?
Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Deanna Gustav
Categories: Black people | Christianity | Default | Employees | Girls | Guys | Indiana | Offers and requests | Questions | Restaurants | Words | Posted 2009-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Every Now and Then, My Inner Cracker Pops Up and Says Stupid Shit
Black girl in car: God, I wish I was black so I could say things like that.
White girl in car: But wait...you are black.
Black girl in car: I can't believe I just said that!
Detroit, Michigan
And That Won't Give Her a Yeast Infection?
30-something black man on cell: Yeah. Put ketchup on it, it tastes like spaghetti!
All Star Cafe
Berkeley, California
Categories: Advice | Black people | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Guys | Offers and requests | Restaurants | Posted 2009-05-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Realize That Means "Highly Pleasant to the Taste or Smell"?
Black girl #1: Girl, it is freezing outside.
Black girl #2: Girl, I know, right?
Black girl #1: Nigga, you know what? I don't have any blood, and since I don't have blood I turn blue all over. All the blood I do have is in my ass, because it is so luscious.
Black girl #2: Oh, nigga, I know that is right!
University of North Carolina at Greensboro
Categories: Ass | Black people | Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Girls | North Carolina | Questions | Weather | Words | Posted 2009-05-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You're Gonna Fantasize, Go Big or Stay Home
Hot black chick: I don't know why you're so surprised... It's the same way I'd nail Lucy Liu and alt-world Neil Patrick Harris.
Nerdy friend: Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?
Hot black chick: You know, where he's straight and really into black chicks.
Nerdy friend: Baffling.
New Haven, Connecticut
Categories: About celebrities | Black people | Connecticut | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Feelings | Friends | Girls | Questions | Race | Sexuality | Posted 2009-05-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Especially If I'm Saying, "Faster...Harder...God...Ohhh"
Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo' real.
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking
Softly with Your Song, or What?
Black woman in the ER on cell: You killed him? What do you mean you "killed him"?
Chestnut Hill Hospital
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Black people | Death & dying | Default | Offers and requests | Pennsylvania | Questions | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2009-04-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Singlehandedly Filling the Void Left by Newlyweds
Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be?
Random black student: I'd be a strawberry.
University of Florida
Overheard by: amused greatly
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Default | Florida | Food | Questions | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2009-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Back Of the Shelves?
Black student: Where's the ethnic section?
White librarian: The what?
Black student: The ethnic section...you know, where all the books by black people are.
White librarian: We don't have an ethnic section, dear. You'll have to browse the shelves.
Longview College, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Black people | Books | Colleges & Universities | Default | Missouri | Offers and requests | Questions | Race | Students | Posted 2009-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
By Show Of Hands, Who'd Give Him the Money Without Hesitation?
Flamboyant black man to woman waiting at crosswalk: Oh, thank god for a sister! I need some money for the bus and I just know you'll help me out, little white barbie sister!
Saint Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Margie
Categories: Black people | Default | Family ties | Guys | Missouri | Money | Public Transportation | Queers | Posted 2009-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I'll Totally Buy the Kid Tap Shoes
Slightly effeminate black man on cell: Uh-uh, child. If you're pregnant, that ain't my child. You got to talk to my brother.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Default | Family ties | Offspring | On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Pregnancy | Queers | Posted 2008-12-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like People in Kansas Don't Drink Wine
Ghetto black chick: People in Europe don't eat nachos.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: D-One
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Geography | Girls | Missouri | Posted 2008-12-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What's More Fun Than a Game Of Hungry, Hungry Hostage?
Black girl #1: Did you hear her? She said she was hungry as a hostage! I mean, how hungry is a hostage?
Black girl #2: Well...probably a lot...
Black girl #1: Yeah, but sometimes they feed yo' ass!
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: nosy roommate
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Default | Food | Girls | Questions | Virginia | Posted 2008-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
White People: "We're Not Touching This One."
Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!
Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Categories: Black people | Default | Fat people | Moms | Offers and requests | Parenting | Race | Restaurants | Virginia | Women | Words | Posted 2008-12-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Might Even Trump the Popularity of Pregnant or Fat?
Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain's getting, it's pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that's like "is this quaint, or just racist?" and if they fail they shouldn't be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
I've Already Gotten You to Cave on Drugs and Rock N' Roll
Older black man: You love sex! You do! Just admit it!
Young black guy: I won't admit it!
Older black guy: Yes you will! Yes you will!
Fremont Street
Las Vegas, Nevada
Categories: Black people | Default | Feelings | Guys | Nevada | Offers and requests | Old folks | Sex | Posted 2008-11-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Well As a Yumminess Thing
Black girl on one side: We look like an Oreo!
White girl in middle (jokingly): Oh, is that a race thing?
Black girl on the other side: Yes.
Outside Harvard Medical School
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Massachusetts | Questions | Race | Students | Whiteys | Posted 2008-11-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Fun As Quiet Contemplation Of Our Lord's Bounty, But Close
Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she is? I wear heels and I'm 5′8". I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you're sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I'm up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger (after uncomfortable pause): That sounds fun.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yes it does
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Religion | Shoes | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Really Brought Down Property Values
Large black woman: They were the finest people on the block, but man, were their kids ugly!
Kohl's
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jyoshiki
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Kids | New Jersey | Women | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grand Theft Auto: Apocalypse May Have Gone Too Far
Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died ... They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!
Bus
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Black people | Bus | Crimes | Death & dying | Default | Guys | Teens | Violence | Washington | Weirdness | Posted 2008-09-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, That's It-- I'm Blocking BET!
Four-year old black boy, as security car passes: Run, mommy, run! The cops are coming!
Outside of Wal-Mart
Cortlandt, New York
And How You Spent Your Summer Vacation
Black girl on cell: So, uh? So then, you explain what a cracker is to you...
Tacoma Mall, Washington
Overheard by: Troy
Categories: Black people | Default | Girls | Malls | On the phone | Race | Washington | Words | Posted 2008-09-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your First Mistake Was Trying to Talk to Him
Black girl to girlfriend: He's young, like 24, 25. And get this: I was like, "So, what else do you do?" and he goes "I make beats." I said, "Of course you do."
Subway
New York City, New York
Overheard by: EL
Categories: Age and ageing | Black people | Default | Friends | Girls | New York | Questions | Sexuality | Train | Posted 2008-09-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Woman Never Knows When Her Uterus Will Get Gentrified
Black woman to child: You just mama's little white boy, aren't you? Yes you are!
Passing Hispanic woman: Is he really white?
Wal-Mart Parking Lot
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Walk By Faster
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Default | Latinos | Malls | Questions | Race | Texas | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-09-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Call the Psychic Friends Network
Ghetto girl on cell: I don't care what the fuck they said... They don't know shit 'bout my coochie!
McArthur Center
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: wes
Categories: Black people | Default | Girls | Gripes | On the phone | Vagina | Virginia | Women | Posted 2008-07-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Who You Callin' a Dias?
Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We're black. He knows English.
Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah
Mark Penn Offered Us $2 Million for This Quote
Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.
UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina
Categories: Black people | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Compliments | Default | Girls | North Carolina | Politics | Posted 2008-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're More Of a Honky Hut Family
Black student to white teacher: So we're going to Sarasota to visit a college up there. Do you know the easiest way to get there?
White teacher: Sure! You can take I-75 straight up, and if you want to stop for something to eat, there's Cracker Barrel all over the place.
Black student: Cracker Barrel? Umm, no, I don't think so...
Design and Architecture High School
Miami, Florida
Categories: Advice | Black people | Fears | Florida | Food | Names | Offers and requests | Questions | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | US Geography | Posted 2008-05-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he's black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
And in a Jar in the Office Fridge
Large black dude on cell: What?!... Okay... His sperm is alive and well and kicking.
BART
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Nate
Categories: Black people | Cum | Guys | On the phone | Train | Words | Posted 2008-05-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Think We All Know What Happened with Monica and That Cigar
African professor: It is up to you to decide whether he was accurately and eloquently speaking BS.
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
Categories: Advice | Black people | Compare and contrast | Education | Euphemisms | Foreigners | Mississippi | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-05-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop Being White in Popeye's!
Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I'm getting. Do you know what you're getting?
White girl: I've never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye's a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I'm sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]
White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!
Popeye's
Trenton, New Jersey
Categories: Advice | Black people | Compare and contrast | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Food | Friends | Girls | New Jersey | Questions | Race | Restaurants | Threats | Wishes | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Asked Was, "Does That Come with Fries?"
Light-skinned black woman: I'm just saying, I'd have been in the home and not in the fields.
Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Georgia | History | Jobs & Careers | Race | Restaurants | Women | Posted 2008-05-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Suck His Toes and You'll Be High for Days
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I'm tellin' you, I don't know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don't want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil' socks, you know... Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Categories: Airports & flights | Black people | Body parts | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Etiquette | Health & Hygiene | Hoochies | Maladies | Michigan | On the phone | Threats | Women | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That the Title of an Inspirational Children's Book?
Little boy to his mother: Why is everybody white and I'm brown?
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Kids | Kids | Massachusetts | Questions | Race | Posted 2008-04-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Turn Them into a Headband for Church
Ghetto woman #1: Oooh, I like them shorts.
Ghetto woman #2: I know, girl. My buttcheeks hang all out in them. I'm going to wear them to the club and find me a good man.
Wet Seal
Bradenton, Florida
Overheard by: Rae Crider
Categories: Black people | Bragging | Clothing | Compliments | Default | Florida | Women | Posted 2008-04-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, I Am, but That's Neither Here Nor There
Black lady on cell: I said, 'Yeah, I'm black, but dat don' mean I be makin' counterfeit money!'
Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Categories: Black people | Crimes | Default | North Carolina | On the phone | Race | Women | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A+
Black student, casually: Wait, let me get this straight: he was going to participate, but he was late, so he decided to hate, and that's what started this debate?
Teacher, baffled: Did you just rap that at me?
Columbia College Fiction Department
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
Categories: Black people | Colleges & Universities | Default | Illinois | Music | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-04-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Alphonse Was Sick That Day in Health Class
Middle-aged black man #1: She has a pretty face.
Middle-aged black man #2: I can't fuck a face!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Tad Allagash
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Compliments | Default | Gripes | Guys | Illinois | Posted 2008-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just When Race Relations Were Improving in Boston
White tourist: I'm really sorry -- I don't have any change. If I did, I'd give you some, but I don't, so... sorry. Good luck with everything...
Black dude: Cracka, I'm ain't homeless!
Hynes Convention Center subway stop
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Black people | Comebacks | Default | Feelings | Massachusetts | Public transportation | Tourists | Whiteys | Posted 2008-03-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Now Jimmy Hoffa Can Have a Decent Burial
Black woman on cell: I'm telling ya, they took everything out of my breasts. Every fucking thing's gone.
Outside Fogg Art Museum
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Don't want to know what.
Categories: Black people | Default | Health & Hygiene | Massachusetts | On the phone | Rack | Women | Posted 2008-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Twenty-Year-Old White Guys: That Hurts. Let's Have Sex!
30-something black woman #1: The eye is superficial.
30-something black woman #2: Yeah, like 20-year-old white guys.
Community College
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Madison
Categories: Black people | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Ohio | Race | Women | Posted 2008-03-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You Wouldn't Believe Some of the Shit I Saw in the Womb
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain't nothin' like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Black people | Default | Gripes | Pennsylvania | Philosophy | Women | Posted 2008-02-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Black on Black Crime's Hidden Nuances
Fat black woman on cell: Black women are better than white women, because you can beat the shit out of them and the bruises won't be visible!
BART train
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Gilatron
Categories: Black people | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Fat people | Race | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-02-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Prince Charming Ended Up with a Glass Slipper Up His Ass
Ghetto chick: It's 10 minutes to midnight -- I'm 'bout to turn into a bitch.
Magic Stick
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Swells
Categories: Black people | Michigan | Threats | Posted 2008-02-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Best Pennsylvania Has to Offer
Thugette #1: Girl, you slept wif him?!
Thugette #2: I know -- he ugly and got crabs, but I made him buy me drugs first.
Thugette #1: True dat.
Campus shuttle, Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Categories: Black people | Chicks | Drugs | Health & Hygiene | Pennsylvania | Posted 2008-02-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Mean, Just Look at Those Raggedy-Ass Sneakers
Black kindergartener to white teacher: You know, before you were my teacher, I didn't know white people could be poor.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Georgia | Kids | Money | Posted 2008-02-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sweetie, All Men Are Transparent
Hobo: Damn, shorty, you lookin' good!
Black girl, groping white boy passerby: I don't like the dark chocolate -- I need a boy I can see my reflection in!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: D.B.
Categories: Black people | Hobos | Race | Washington, DC | Posted 2008-01-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Young Black Guys Need Viagra?
Young black dude to white dude: ... And don't ever use Viagra unless you really need it. My balls were itching like crazy.
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Donster
Categories: Advice | Black people | California | Posted 2008-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Auto-Abortion Function Would Be Optional
Loud black lady in long line: Girl, I know how you feel! Every time I try to buy a pregnancy test, there gotta be a big ordeal! The line too long, or there someone you know.
Girl with pregnancy test, embarrassed and chuckling: Yeah...
Loud black lady: I wish I could just go in my toilet, then push a button and have my toilet say, 'Uh-huh, you pregnant today!'
Van Wert, Ohio
Overheard by: Woah, that's not a bad idea...
Categories: Black people | Ohio | Pregnancy | Posted 2008-01-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Talking about Date Rape
Ghetto girl: Yo, I can't wait to get back to my dorm and just take a nap.
Ghetto guy: Heh... Well, you know, just don't let that nap turn into, you know, some sleep... Y'know what I mean?
Ghetto girl: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Categories: Advice | Black people | New Jersey | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But the Apple Pocket Desserts Have a Great Personality
Old black guy #1: We can eat here. It's not too busy.
Old black guy #2: Damn! There sure ain't no cutie pies in that motherfucker!
McDonald's
New York
Categories: Black people | Gripes | New York | Posted 2008-01-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Attention: Your Street Cred Has Been Revoked
Dude: Yeah, you know how it be. I'll check ya later. Yo, this is Tylenol, I'm out!
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gee and drew
Categories: Black people | Names | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And It's Scalding -- That Can't Be a Good Sign
Big black lady spilling drink on herself: Oops, I done baptized myself.
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Black people | Cleanliness | Georgia | Posted 2007-12-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, That Was Just a Freak Picnicking Accident
Black chick: I'm sorry -- I don't have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate...
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Categories: Black people | Florida | Kink | Posted 2007-12-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We All Do Our Part, Marcia
Black lady on cell: I mean, I'm out here stealing, too! I got a habit to support, too!
33 bus
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Categories: Black people | Jobs & Careers | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-12-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Fun to Express Yourself without Risk of Being Understood
Black student #1, to teacher: Ayo, man! Naw, naw [babbles on, but no one can understand].
Teacher: ... What?
Black student #2: Man, I'm black and I didn't even understand that!
Manassas, Virginia
Categories: Black people | Language barrier | Students | Virginia | Posted 2007-12-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Last Time We Rented a Movie, I Almost Went Blind
Young black woman #1: What's We Own the Night about?
Young black woman #2: One guy's a cop, and his brother is a gangster or something.
Young black woman #1: Does it have black people in it or white people?
Young black woman #2: White people.
Young black woman #1: Let's see something else.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Jason Bourne
Categories: Black people | Ohio | Race | Posted 2007-12-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
There Are Black People in Wisconsin?
Black party hostess: So, are there any black people in Nevada?
Drunk white hippie girl from Nevada: No! But we might as well be black, because we're so uneducated and everything, you know? [Room, full of black professionals, explodes with laughter.]
Black suit: I need a very dry martini right now.
Gregory Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Categories: Black people | Race | Whiteys | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-11-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Line Uttered by Thousands of Theater-Goers in the '80s and '90s
Big black lady in checkout lane: This place is a hell of a lot better than Wal-Mart.
Companion: Tell me about it.
Big black lady: Last time I was in there, my blood pressure was, like, eight hundred over five hundred.
Companion: Mmm-hm.
Big black lady: I was seeing stars. Pretty colors, though. Man, I should not have seen cats.
Target, Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: amused cashier
Categories: Black people | Gripes | South Carolina | Posted 2007-10-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Prefer to Be Called Elephant-Americans
Black guy on cell: Man, I just stepped outside and saw, like, ten elephants walking down the street!
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: John Edward Hills
Categories: Animals | Arizona | Black people | Posted 2007-10-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do You Think He Engraved It on This Locket?
Ghetto chick #1: If I was Kobe's wife, I woulda left that nigga's ass.
Ghetto chick #2: Kobe... He fine -- I would hit that shit.
Ghetto chick #3: Oooh, girl, do you daddy know you nasty?!
In-N-Out Burger
Carson, California
Overheard by: Kristina & Friends
Categories: Black people | California | Gossip | Posted 2007-10-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Spelled "Shove On"
Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]
Baby daddy holding infant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Baby daddy: Yeah, sure... Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What's his name?
Baby daddy: Uhhh... Shit, I know this... Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don't even know your son's name?!
Baby daddy: Shoot, I did earlier. Shavon! Yeah... That's it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hot child in the city
Categories: Bimbettes | Black people | Dads | Names | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-09-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Outsource to Aunt Flo
Lanky black guy making sandwiches: Man, I don't understand them girls with long nails! How they clean they ass and they uterus?
Subway, University of South Florida
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Don't make my sandwich with those
Categories: Black people | Florida | Questions | Posted 2007-08-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Will Be on the Final
Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That's right, brothers drink malt liquor!
Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Categories: Black people | California | Class | Drinking & drunks | Teachers | Posted 2007-08-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Gets Out Blood?
Black lady #1: So I said, 'What are you gonna do, hit me?'
Black lady #2: Mmm-hm.
Black lady #1: Then he really started to trip...
Black lady #2: Mmm.
Black lady #1: That's when I looked him right in the eye and I said, 'One of us is gonna die tonight.'
Joliet Mall
Joliet, Illinois
Categories: Black people | Gossip | Illinois | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or a First Edition of Great Expectations
Young black man: That's the best gift you can give a brother -- a fine Latina with B cups.
Orange Line bus
San Fernando Valley, California
Overheard by: suzy vapid
Categories: Black people | Bus | California | Race | Posted 2007-05-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Kindly Fellate Me, You Promiscuous Female Dog
Old black lady to friend: He had shit all fuckin' dumped out all over the goddamned place, so I says, 'What the fuck is you doin', Raphael?' And that mothafuckah says-- [she looks around]. Shit, I forgot they's white people up in here! Sorry, folks. So, Raphael had made such a terrible mess, so I asked him what he was doing, and he said...
Circle Centre Mall Concourse
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Categories: Black people | Gossip | Indiana | Race | Posted 2007-04-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know It's a Leather Apron, Right?
Big black guy on cell: Yeah, I wear the apron. But it comes off at night. Then we'll see who hustles!
301 bus to Shoreline
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Black people | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Replaced Frank's Regular Fellatrix with a Thumb-Sucker. Let's Watch What Happens
Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin' up?
Black woman #2: No, I don't think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suckers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Really?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a party with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well... we went off together and had a test, if... you know what I mean... and he said I was the best -- way better than my friend.
Black man: I'd like to try that test.
Mkt Frankford El subway stop
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b&n guy
Categories: BJs | Black people | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
