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Look at Her Walking Around Like She Has a Right to Exist

Biotech: Wow. That girl wears clothes like she's not fat, and that's funny.

California

Overheard by: dev


Categories: Biotechs | California | Diet & weight | Gripes | Posted 2008-02-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So It's No Problem If I Stub Them Out in Your Eyes?

Angry security guard lady: Hey! There's no smoking out here!
Smoker guy #1, wearing dark shades and not sorry: Sorry, we didn't know.
Angry security guard lady: Well, there's a sign right next to you.
Smoker guy #2, wearing dark shades: We're blind -- that's why we're at the Eye Center.
Security guard lady, laughing loudly: Hahaha! Well, okay!

Kellogg Eye Center
Ann Arbor, Michigan


Overheard by: Ewan Macpherson


Categories: Biotechs | Gripes | Maladies | Michigan | Posted 2008-01-17 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or Kinderjail

Biotech #1: They really need kennels for children.
Biotech #2: It's called school.

Cambridge, Massachusetts


Categories: Biotechs | Euphemisms | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-11-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

I Just Want to Be Close to Somebody Who'll Leave Me Alone

Chick: ... So then he started talking about feelings and stuff, and how we only have sex and we never talk anymore! [Friend nods.] Like, sometimes after we do it he tries to cuddle with me, and all I can think about is, 'Damn, I really just want to sleep...' So, do I break up with him?

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Overheard by:


Categories: Biotechs | Overheard at McGill | Relationships | Posted 2007-11-15 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hahaha, Yeah, a Virulent Antibiotic-Resistant Strain

Chick to guy: Well, the joke's on you, because I have syphilis.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by:


Categories: Biotechs | Health & Hygiene | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-10-25 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Big Pukers, Not So Much

Blonde: I heard guys like big girls now.
Brunette: Excuse me while I vomit.

School bathroom
Newark, New Jersey


Categories: Biotechs | Diet & weight | New Jersey | Posted 2007-10-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Can We Start Over?

Girl running for bus: Thank you!
Bus driver: Wait at the right stop.
Girl: Lose some weight.
Bus driver: Get off my bus.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: talks before she thinks


Categories: Biotechs | Bus drivers | Insults | Washington | Posted 2007-09-28 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Unless She Shares Her Legal Pot

Dutch employee: Well, I don't like your American style and I don't like your American way, and I don't want to speak English anymore [walks off].
American chick, to colleagues: Keep that bitch away from me or she's dead.

Major bank
Amsterdam
Netherlands


Categories: Biotechs | Coworkers | Gripes | Netherlands | Posted 2007-09-11 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Damn, Girl, You Got That Christian Stuff Down

Biotech on cell: Oh my god, she is so stupid! She goes home all the freaking time. Like, just last weekend she had to go home for her dying friend.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas


Categories: Biotechs | Gripes | On the phone | Texas | Posted 2007-09-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

You Sound Like Someone Worth Working Hard For

Old hag: Sometimes I forget I'm married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn't forget about him, but he not.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous


Categories: Biotechs | Overheard in Philly | Relationships | Posted 2007-09-01 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Maybe You Could Throw a Few of Those Stalkers My Way?

Girl #1: I hate being stalked over Facebook. They're also creepy guys that I'm not interested in. They are just wasting their time and mine.
Girl #2: It can't be that bad, can it?
Girl #1: You don't understand -- you're not pretty like me.

Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com

Overheard by: kolby


Categories: Biotechs | Gripes | Insults | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-08-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

That Is, a Little Less Every Year

Native girl #1: Fuck you.
Native girl #2, annoyed: You piss me off to my titties.

Winnipeg
Canadia


Overheard by: pissed off


Categories: Biotechs | Canadia | Gripes | Posted 2007-07-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Second-Hand Smoke Is Better Than I Remembered

Man: Can I bum a cigarette?
Beatnik girl: No, I need them all. The smoke fertilizes my brain, and I must get pregnant with ideas [blows smoke in his face].

São Paulo
Brazil


Categories: Biotechs | Brazil | Smoking | Posted 2007-07-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Exactly Why I Like Being Her Friend

Biotech #1: God, is she being all depressed again?
Biotech #2: Yeah, you know how she is. She just needs a guy to pay attention to her.
Biotech #1: She just needs to stop being friends with girls who are hotter than she is.

Lawrence, Kansas


Categories: Advice | Biotechs | Kansas | Posted 2007-07-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung

Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.

Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas


Categories: Beauty | Biotechs | Maladies | North America | On the phone | Stores | Texas | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Also Why I Didn't Get That Modeling Contract

Girl: I got into the international university in Bremen, but they didn't give me any scholarship money because I'm not Ethiopian and I eat dinner every night.

Washington, DC


Categories: Biotechs | Education | Gossip | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-06-05 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... That Was before Her Head Spun Around

Chick #1: She looks kind of...
Chick #2: Satanic?
Chick #1: I was going to say Ukrainian, but...

Allegheny College
Pennsylvania


Categories: Biotechs | Colleges & Universities | Insults | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-04-27 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mentos and Money

Lady: I don't like her. She smells like the bottom of someone's purse.

Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com

Overheard by: mk


Categories: Biotechs | Insults | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-04-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Usually before Naming Them

Boyfriend: I can't believe you weren't there for me when I had to put my dog to sleep!
Girlfriend: I'm sorry, honey. Where I come from, we eat our pets.

Grocery store
Union Lake, Michigan


Categories: Animals | Biotechs | Michigan | Names | Stores | Posted 2007-03-31 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But That's What the Virus Wants!

Obnoxious chick: ... And I was like, 'Yo, get your STD blood off my shoe! You lick it off!'

DRT bus
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: freshman whisperer


Categories: Biotechs | Canadia | STDs | Posted 2007-03-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook