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And Can I Use Your Leg As a Scratching Post?
Patron #1: Keith is really sorry to have acted like that.
Bartender: Does he even realize how drunk he was?
Patron #1: I'm just saying, that is not the Keith we know
Patron #2: [starts laughing].
Bartender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Patron #1: I'm just letting you know, that according to all the cats he knows, you are the meow [makes a pawing gesture].
Bartender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Patron #2: He doesn't even know who Keith is.
Patron #1: Where are we?
Bennigans
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Chris
Categories: Animals | Bars & Clubs | Bartenders | Compliments | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Feelings | Florida | Guys | Questions | Posted 2008-04-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As I Have Noticed Your Lack of Training Wheels
Drunk girl in bar to bartender: You should be so lucky as to have sex with me.
Bartender: I wouldn't fuck you for practice.
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: warm ups?
Whatever. Starving Children in Nigeria Don't Even Have Earlobes.
Bartender: Geez, Hank, you're looking great these days. Been working out?
Chubby Jewish guy: Yeah. I tell ya, I've been trying to lose the spare tire, but I lost it all in my earlobes instead. It's a cruel world.
Suami's India Garden Resturant
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Jeebus McGee
Categories: Bartenders | Body parts | Default | Diet & weight | Fat people | Gripes | Jews | Ohio | Restaurants | Posted 2008-03-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Hummer
Bartender: I can't believe she rides her bike to work.
Waitress: Well, she lives just around the corner.
Bartender: I don't care. If I lived in the parking lot, I would still drive to work.
Phoenix, Arizona
Categories: Arizona | Bartenders | Philosophy | Posted 2007-11-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So, No Rules, Just Right?
Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y'know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it 'the baby grinder.'
Bartender: That's disgusting.
Girl: What's really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.
Bar
Fitzroy
Australia
Categories: Australia | Bartenders | Creepsters | Jobs & Careers | Posted 2007-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Using the Men's Room Cam
Male bartender: So, let's all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: the next table over
Categories: Bartenders | Bragging | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-09-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
This Calls for Our Complimentary "Maternity" Shot
Bartender to woman with two drinks: Double-fisting it tonight? You must be really thirsty.
Woman, patting stomach: Well, I'm drinking for two.
Bartender, excited: Congratulations!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Emma
Categories: Bartenders | California | Drinking & drunks | Posted 2007-08-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We're Roommates
Bartender: You again? I see you everywhere -- you're like a sewer rat.
Drunk guy: Well, I am an alcoholic.
Cedar Falls, Iowa
Overheard by: doe
Categories: Bartenders | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Iowa | Posted 2007-07-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, I'm Not a Starfish!
Drunk girl: I have an amazing vagina.
Bartender: Is it an innie or an outie?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: abby
Categories: Bartenders | Drunks | Questions | Vagina | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
