Overheard Everywhere | The Voice of the Towel" | People

Something Just Expanded --Possibly My Awareness

Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?

Starbuck's, Castro Street
Mountain View, California

Overheard by: touché

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... Actually, Can I Just Get a Hot Chocolate?

Customer: I'd like some tea... Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um... Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That's the one I'll have.

Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me

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When You Can Take the Handicapped Kid's Scissors Away, Grasshopper...

Bimbette: ... You, like, learn to flip people on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with retarded kids and they, like, have come at her with scissors and tried to cut her throat before.
Barista: That doesn't sound like a job I'd want to have.
Bimbette: No, she loves it.

Starbucks
Gaithersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: I just want my mocha, please

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Yeah, but He's All Like, "Our Baby Doesn't Have Any Food"

Barista #1: He expects me to work from, like, nine to five all next week!
Barista #2: What?! That's like a job!

Starbucks
Virginia

Overheard by: Person with a job

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This Bullet, for Instance

Dude: So, what is this? Like, an energy drink, too?
Barista: Nah, it's just a soda.
Dude: Hmmm, white grape juice, filtered carbonated water... It does have like 22 grams of sugar, but I guess it's like natural sugar, so it's not so bad, right?
Barista: I don't know, it might kill ya!
Dude: Yeah, but I think that things that kill you make you smarter.

Jersey City, New Jersey

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I Have to Recite an Affirmation Just to Get a Latte

Barista: I totally hate what rehab's done to coffee houses.

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by:

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Mom and Dad, Especially

Barista #1: So, I had this totally fucked up dream last night. I was, like, having sexual relations with my brother...
Barista #2, totally serious: That's not weird.
Barista #1: I know, but the weird thing was everyone around me was really uncomfortable with it.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: I'm uncomfortable even hearing it

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