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Good Thing "Shut Up, You Cow" Is Easy to Convey with Body Language

Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I'm bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I'm bleeding from my neck! Don't you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn't speak English before I married you!

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: corwin

And If Chris Hansen Shows Up, Don't Let Him In

Angry woman on cell: I told you -- we have Bible study in a half-hour! Get your clothes on and get off of the computer!

Locust Street
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Eavesdropper

... Before the Whores

Mother to young son in shopping cart: Do you wanna leave?! Do you wanna leave?! How many times do I have to tell you? Don't lick the cart!

Easton, Massachusetts


Categories: Assholes | Assholes | Default | Gripes | Massachusetts | Moms | Posted 2008-03-12 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

But No One Who Speaks German Could Be a Mean Guy!

American guy: Could you stamp my passport, please? It's a hobby of mine.
Passport checker to coworker, in German: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they've all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.
American girl: Sir, I'd like mine stamped, too.
Passport checker, in German: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.
American girl: Sir, that's not very nice!
Passport checker, still in German: I hate it when they know German. Then we can't talk about them!

Airport
Cologne
Germany


Categories: Assholes | Germany | Insults | Language barrier | Tourists | Posted 2008-02-18 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Sometimes I Add Light Slapping.

Man: Hey, asshole, get off the cellphone.
Dude: Excuse me...?
Man: The street car is a public space. Get off the cellphone or get off the street car!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes! I don't want to have to hear you yapping away--
Dude: --Why don't you get off, then, buddy?
Man: This is a public space! Stop polluting the space with your hot air!
Dude: No.
Man: Yes.
Dude: No! [Into cell] Oh, nothing, Bruce. Just some loser on the street car...
Man: Hey!
Dude: Yeah?
Man: You're fat and ugly, you know that?
Dude, leaving: Screw you!
Man, to entire street car: I do this every Sunday...

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia


Overheard by: damn hiatus


Categories: Assholes | Canadia | Cell phones | Gripes | Strangers | Posted 2008-02-16 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Whole Country Could Use a Good Subway Conductor

Red-headed woman: I wish they'd take this place and just plunk it down in New York so I could shove people.
Red-headed guy: Word!

National Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC


Overheard by: Nujju


Categories: Assholes | Gripes | Guys | US Geography | Violence | Wishes | Women | Posted 2007-10-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook