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What the Hell Is Going on in Illinois?
Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I'd have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That's why they're called "accidents"!
University of Illinois
Would It Help If I Glued This Viola to My Hand?
Non-Asian student to Asian student: Dude, I keep forgetting you're Asian.
Asian student: I know! Me too!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: m. Jo.
English Conversation Is Fun
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
We've Lived a Lifetime in This One Elevator Ride
Professionally dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can't believe you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low indignant voice): Well *I* can't believe you showed her your innie nipple!
Elevator, Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Guys | Nipples | San Francisco | Posted 2008-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Suppose I Could Have One of My Concubines Answer Them, Though
Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students' e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]
Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia
Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment...
Categories: Asians | Canadia | Class | Default | Drinking & drunks | Education | Offers and requests | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Slept with Him in Chinese?
[Chinese girls whispering.]
Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn't come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!
Bus
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Asians | Bus | Etiquette | Friends | Girls | Illinois | Language barrier | Offers and requests | Questions | Sex | Posted 2008-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She'll Get Forgiveness, but Not Permission
Asian girl #1: They're doing it.
Asian girl #2: They're doing it a lot, it's like twice a week!
Asian girl #1: Man, and she wants it, too!
Asian girl #2: She's Catholic.
San Francisco, California
Categories: Asians | Christianity | Friends | Girls | Relationships | San Francisco | Sex | Posted 2008-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Really Do Get a Little Something Extra at the Ivies
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Isn't "Balls!" such a great expression? It's just so... you know... I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting "Balls!" at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Balls!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
But Isn't an All-Male Choir Kinda Gay?
Weird Asian guy: You've never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It's a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I've heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Guys | Orgasm | Singing | Washington | Weirdness | Whiteys | Posted 2008-04-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?
Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!
Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas
None of the Races Are Much of a Bargain
Asian girl: I hate being Asian!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
I'm Careful Not to Spend Too Much Time with Women
Asian guy: I hate going there. There's too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Kunoichi
Has He Given You a Satisfactory Answer to That Question?
Thugette, into phone: How it gon' be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin' the next?
Asian guy: It's called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don't need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Like on My Website
Asian chick: Oh my god, this huge, fat-ass raindrop just fell on my head.
Friend: You're a huge, fat-ass raindrop! You're such a fat-ass raindrop, you make people over-hydrated!
Asian chick, shocked: There's no such thing as over-hydrated! You just pee a lot!
Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California
Categories: Asians | California | Pee | Stupidity | Posted 2008-02-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Plus, You Get to Have Boobs
Asian girl: Well, I don't know what it's like being white.
White girl: You feel guilty all the time.
White guy: Yeah, for things you never did.
Asian girl: Awesome!
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
I Like to Give It the Appearance of Fullness
Hot Asian girl to friend: Well, it was great talking to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stick a wad of cotton in my vagina.
Oregon State University
Corvallis, Oregon
Categories: Asians | Health & Hygiene | Oregon | Posted 2008-02-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
China: Give Us Time.
Korean girl: You know, I can't tell us apart, either.
Chinese girl: Yeah, I just think everyone's Chinese.
High school bathroom
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: slightly relieved
Though As a History Tutor, She's Subpar
Asian student on cell: Yeah, yeah. He know her long time. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. She better than stripper.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Asians | Gossip | Massachusetts | On the phone | Posted 2008-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except in the Movie We'd Know Kung Fu Instead of Getting Brutally Mugged
Asian guy to friends, with black stranger behind them: It's like a movie -- every time I look back, the black guy gets closer.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Asians | Overheard at McGill | Race | Posted 2008-01-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Often His Holiness Feels the Best Response Is Silence
Asian chick: You feel used? I sent him a picture of my boobs and got nothing!
Nordstrom's cafe, Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Categories: Asians | California | Gripes | Rack | San Francisco | Posted 2008-01-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Ah, the Mild and Pointless Amusements That Would Accrue
Asian guy: If I had an uncle, I'd totally go to his house.
Derby
England
Overheard by: Me too.
Categories: Asians | England | Family ties | Posted 2007-12-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Won't Accept the Solution I Worked Out
Nerdy Asian guy: My friend is having a problem...
Drunk Asian guy: Can you solve it with your penis?
UCLA
California
Overheard by: Amused
Categories: Advice | Asians | California | Penis | Posted 2007-12-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Asians Are Racists, Too?
Asian #1, watching Asian driver: Asian drivers suck!
Asian #2: Dude, you are one!
Asian #1: Oh, yeah.
Queen Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Asians | New Zealand | Race | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Girlfriend: I Wish My Boyfriend Wasn't Such a Racist
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wellll... Your kids probably won't either
Categories: Asians | Body parts | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Teens | Posted 2007-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hey, Just because It's a Stereotype Doesn't Mean I Can't Appreciate a Nice Lawn
Asian guy: Goddamn, that shooter down in the US is gonna give Asians a bad name. Quiet Asian guys will only be able to stay silent for five minutes before people get suspicious.
Mexican guy: Join the club. Down in the US people only think of us as cheap landscapers.
Asian guy: I don?t think we have a lot of Mexicans here.
Mexican guy: That must be why your lawns look so shitty.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Asians | Gripes | Overheard at McGill | Race | Posted 2007-08-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will I Get My Damage Deposit Back?
Asian native to man with whom she's holding hands: How do I replace you?
Spain
Overheard by: emily
Or Are You?
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]
Chinese girl: I can't do it.
Teacher: But you're Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Categories: Asians | Connecticut | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Do a Chinese American Dance in Sweats, and That's My Final Offer
Guy: I'll do the work and you'll do the Chinese dance in sexy underwear.
Angry Chinese girl: No!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Asians | Dancing | Guys | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-05-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Saddest Words: 'It Might Have Been'
Asian chick: If I wasn't wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
