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Skinny Asian girl: These shorts are way too big.
Plus-sized white friend: Oh no, I have skinny-ass legs. My life sucks. What am I going to do?
Skinny Asian girl: (laughs)
St. Joseph, Michigan
Asian girl: Can I have two penises?
Market Street
San Francisco, California
Asian guy: I mean, I'm a nice guy, but I'ma fucking kill you.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Tucker
Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?
Houston, Texas
Taller Asian teen: Ha ha! You're so short! Shorty!
Shorter Asian teen: (silence)
Taller Asian teen: Sorry, I was just kidding.
Shorter Asian teen, sadly: Well, it's only because my shoulders are below my head...
China
Drunk Asian kid entering kitchen at party: I just went to use the bathroom, but there was some weird Asian girl waiting outside the door.
Sober, bitter girl: Are you sure it wasn't just a mirror?
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: bitter girl's roommate
Ditzy cute girl: Look at the clouds! They're blue!
Friend, deadpan: You mean the sky.
Ditzy cute girl: Yeah! Ohmigod, kittensssss!
Jakarta
Indonesia
Overheard by: I only want my coffee
Balding nerdy guy to cute Asian arty girl: What was your name again?
Cute Asian arty chick: No.
Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: curtis martin
Tiny black girl: And then I had to have Buckley's, and you know what? It tastes exactly like jizz.
Asian girl, perplexed: You've had Buckley's?
Pub
Toronto
Canadia
Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in... Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?
Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California
Indian girl to friend: When I have a baby, I'm going to name it after my pet rock.
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amanda
Black guy: Hey! What country you from?
Asian girl: Um... America?
Black guy: You look Chinese.
Asian girl: I am?
Community College
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Nerdy girl to Asian friend: I mean, it was pathetic. I could've had my top off and had a sign around my neck that said "free blowjobs" and they wouldn't have noticed. They were all crowded around Mike watching him play Pokemon.
Chicago, Illinois
Asian kid: We don't do a lot of jumping around.
Black kid: Except in the wars, when Chuck Norris has lots of babies.
Asian kid: And white people are marrying everyone.
Babson College
Wellesley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bruce
Skinny Asian kid buying 24-pack of Keystone Light, to friend: I dunno man. I've never played beer pong against a black dude before.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
Asian guy #1: So... Where are we goin'?
Asian guy #2: Well, I haven't cleaned my ears since this morning, so... Gotta do that.
Community College
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: Michele
Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Shawn
Preppy white boy: You're both women, and you're Asian! How can you have messy handwriting??
Professor: Wait, did I really just hear that?
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: The non-asian woman
Asian bimbo #1, filling out apartment application: How do you spell "roommate"?
Asian bimbo #2 : Well... If it's just one person, it has one "m". It it's two or more, two "m's"
UC Riverside
California
Overheard by: Sophya
Trendy Asian on crowded platform: It smells like hot ass in here.
Trendy Asian friend: How would you know what hot ass smells like?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: TrainRider
White girl: Bite his face!
Asian girl: Ew, no! It's all hairy!
White girl: Sometimes you need to do things that you don't like. Like biting a hairy face, for example. Or putting balls in your mouth to get back your Breakfast Club movie...
Asian girl: Oh, you poor thing.
New Jersey
Asian kid: Damn, I can't do math.
Non-Asian kid: Somehow I doubt that.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Jesse
Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Pretty blonde snuggling with Asian boyfriend: Honey, I'm sorry I was so crazy earlier.
Asian boyfriend: It's okay, sweetie, but I am going to have to punish you when we get home.
Pretty blonde, smiling: A spanking?
Asian boyfriend, kissing her forehead: Whatever you want, sweetie.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Asian teenage girl, about sister who just left: She's so cute. She looks like a guy.
Sporting Carnival
Australia
Overheard by: Ouch
Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McF
Hobo: You ever model?
Cute Asian guy: Uh, no.
Hobo: You should think about it. You have nice cheekbones. But definitely go with an agency.
Cute Asian guy: Okay. (awkward pause)
Hobo: By the way, this is man-to-man. This isn't no gay shit!
Chicago, Illinois
Asian girl #1, looking at yogurt display: Ten for seven dollars, what is that?
Asian girl #2: I don't know, I don't want to do the math.
Los Angeles, California
Asian teenage girl: Wait, so did Jesus ejaculate wine?
Starbucks
Red Bank, New Jersey
Serious Asian dude: I don't like angry soul food bitches. I like happy soul food bitches.
Maryland
Overheard by: Neither nor
Asian woman: You know, I'm not normally a lesbian. I was just scoping out the competition last night!
Christchurch
New Zealand
Short Asian chick to tall white guy: Oh my gawd, I've got it! So, heat rises, right? So it's probably all warm up there where you are, and down here with the normal people it's cold, and that's why you don't think it's cold, even though it's freaking freezing! Gawd, I love being an Asian! I come up with the most genius shit!
Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California
(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!
University of Toronto
Canadia
Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it?
Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it?
Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm...
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Kole
Quirky lesbian professor leading class in Kegel exercises: And everybody squeeze, hold, hold...release and squeeze, two, three...release.
Ditzy Indian, after shiver spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky lesbian professor: It's great, right!
Health Ed Class
Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York
Overheard by: Trying not to laugh at all the serious faces trying to hide these private exercises
American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears "you fucking whore!" and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.
London
England
Overheard by: Jai
Indian tourist outside strip club: So you pay money, and a lady dances for you.
Mum: Well, that sounds delightful.
Whitechapel
London
England
Overheard by: Chinese cockney
Asian guy #1: She's the kind of woman who stands to the side, but she's also the kind of woman who talks shit behind your back.
Asian guy #2: Yeah, traditional Asian bitch.
UCSD
San Diego, California
Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well...I lost the baby...
Asian friend: Oh, well...just put "no."
Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California
Overheard by: CINDI
Indian guy: Dude...what if Shakespeare was Jesus?
Bellingham, Washington
Asian tranny, bowing to group of exiting patrons: Thank you, puh-rease come again!
Very femme male waiter, exasperated: Oh, shut up!
Restaurant
San Francisco, California
Asian chick: I'm going to meet my old boss at that Thai restaurant. You know, the one with the woman that feels me up.
Asian dude: Oh, yeah. Aren't all Thai women bisexual?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shringle
Asian #1: So do you guys eat a lot of Mongolian beef and shit?
Asian #2: Dude! I'm Korean!
(later)
Asian #2: Do you understand everything in those anime movies?
Asian #1: I'm not Japanese! Now I don't feel so bad.
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
Adopted Chinese daughter: I just wish we looked more alike.
Mother: Aw, you wish you looked more like me?
Adopted Chinese daughter: No, I wish you looked more like me.
Mall
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kellerz
Preppy Asian chick on cell: I don't care if he's dying. I'm not going to move my car from a parking spot.
University of Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Oi, is that a Manchester United shirt?
Eight-year-old Japanese boy: Herro.
Englishman in Manchester City shirt: Hello, you cunt.
Japan
Asian chick: I don't even like pecan pie. Do you?
White chick: I love it!
(long pause)
Asian chick: Why are we friends?
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Virginia
Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I'd have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That's why they're called "accidents"!
University of Illinois
Non-Asian student to Asian student: Dude, I keep forgetting you're Asian.
Asian student: I know! Me too!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: m. Jo.
Attractive 30-year-old blond European woman: You can say it, say it, sayyyyyy it!
50-year-old well dressed Japanese man: Penis... penis... penis...
Ginza
Tokyo
Japan
Overheard by: Brian Milvid
Professionally dressed Asian girl (in a low voice): I can't believe you showed that girl your pubes, man!
Short, pudgy Asian guy (in a low indignant voice): Well *I* can't believe you showed her your innie nipple!
Elevator, Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students' e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]
Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia
Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment...
[Chinese girls whispering.]
Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn't come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!
Bus
Chicago, Illinois
Asian girl #1: They're doing it.
Asian girl #2: They're doing it a lot, it's like twice a week!
Asian girl #1: Man, and she wants it, too!
Asian girl #2: She's Catholic.
San Francisco, California
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Isn't "Balls!" such a great expression? It's just so... you know... I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting "Balls!" at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that...
English professor: Balls!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Weird Asian guy: You've never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It's a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I've heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!
Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas
Asian girl: I hate being Asian!
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Asian guy: I hate going there. There's too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Kunoichi
Thugette, into phone: How it gon' be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin' the next?
Asian guy: It's called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don't need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Asian chick: Oh my god, this huge, fat-ass raindrop just fell on my head.
Friend: You're a huge, fat-ass raindrop! You're such a fat-ass raindrop, you make people over-hydrated!
Asian chick, shocked: There's no such thing as over-hydrated! You just pee a lot!
Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California
Asian girl: Well, I don't know what it's like being white.
White girl: You feel guilty all the time.
White guy: Yeah, for things you never did.
Asian girl: Awesome!
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Hot Asian girl to friend: Well, it was great talking to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go stick a wad of cotton in my vagina.
Oregon State University
Corvallis, Oregon
Korean girl: You know, I can't tell us apart, either.
Chinese girl: Yeah, I just think everyone's Chinese.
High school bathroom
Newmarket, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: slightly relieved
Asian student on cell: Yeah, yeah. He know her long time. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. She better than stripper.
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Asian guy to friends, with black stranger behind them: It's like a movie -- every time I look back, the black guy gets closer.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Overheard by:
Asian chick: You feel used? I sent him a picture of my boobs and got nothing!
Nordstrom's cafe, Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Asian guy: If I had an uncle, I'd totally go to his house.
Derby
England
Overheard by: Me too.
Nerdy Asian guy: My friend is having a problem...
Drunk Asian guy: Can you solve it with your penis?
UCLA
California
Overheard by: Amused
Asian #1, watching Asian driver: Asian drivers suck!
Asian #2: Dude, you are one!
Asian #1: Oh, yeah.
Queen Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: wellll... Your kids probably won't either
Asian guy: Goddamn, that shooter down in the US is gonna give Asians a bad name. Quiet Asian guys will only be able to stay silent for five minutes before people get suspicious.
Mexican guy: Join the club. Down in the US people only think of us as cheap landscapers.
Asian guy: I don?t think we have a lot of Mexicans here.
Mexican guy: That must be why your lawns look so shitty.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Asian native to man with whom she's holding hands: How do I replace you?
Spain
Overheard by: emily
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]
Chinese girl: I can't do it.
Teacher: But you're Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Guy: I'll do the work and you'll do the Chinese dance in sexy underwear.
Angry Chinese girl: No!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Asian chick: If I wasn't wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug