Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Way to Ruin the Moment

Middle-aged woman: My wedding ring from my first marriage has new meaning now.
Friend: What's that?
Middle-aged woman: When I lost all that weight and it didn't fit anymore, I took it as a sign to divorce the bastard and marry Jesus Christ.
Friend: Why don't you just wear it on your toe instead? http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563429/that-doesnt-have-the-same-effect.html Overheard by: good lord.

But, Oddly Enough, Nine Months Later Sean Preston Was Born

Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy. Flight over Atlanta, Georgia

Well, I'm Sorry I Made You Kiss Her Feet…

New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about? Train
Dublin
Ireland