Flamboyant black man to woman waiting at crosswalk: Oh, thank god for a sister! I need some money for the bus and I just know you'll help me out, little white barbie sister! Saint Louis, Missouri Overheard by: Margie
Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill! Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money… (whispering) Ghost money! Graveyard
Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can’t give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can’t just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I’m keeping you out of the will! Target
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some change?
Girl: Sorry, I only have cards. Austin, Texas
Office worker: Well, I almost went to Woodstock, but then an opportunity to make money came up. http://evadne-noel.livejournal.com/
(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
Drunk woman: Wait, what? Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: Elizabeth
Woman #1: He's 41 and a millionaire, what's wrong with him?
Woman #2: He lives with his mother. Geelong
Australia Overheard by: laughing
New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?