Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him? Palo Alto, California
Girl #1: I'd totally tap your grandpa!
Girl #2: Thanks?
Girl #1: You're welcome! Denver, Colorado
Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude! Adelaide
Older lady, to friend: If your husband dies they'll find you a new one, the Jewish people. Kansas
Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can’t give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can’t just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I’m keeping you out of the will! Target
Large woman: Your dad kicked me in the head!
Scrawny boyfriend: What?
Large woman: And then you kicked me in the head! Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia Overheard by: Marg
Large man: You need a back rub?
Girl rubbing shoulder in pain: I’m fine, thanks.
Large man: I give great massages. My mama says it’s better than a orgasm. MUNI bus
San Francisco, California Overheard by: melissa
Young professional woman: So, my husband and I decided we were ready to have a baby, but when I got pregnant I sort of freaked out and thought I wasn't ready. So I went out with my girlfriends, ate a bunch of sushi, smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank a fifth of tequila. Sure enough, the next day, I got my period. That shit really is bad for the pregnancy. Flight over Atlanta, Georgia
Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot. Charleston, South Carolina Overheard by: Aubree
Male student: So after leaving my mom a note explaining I was going to New York, my friend and I just drove there. We saw a hobo pee in a cup then dump it out!
Female student: Sweet! Can I see? Bus, University of Michigan