Archive for the ‘Diet & weight’ Category

No Wonder I Keep Passing Out!

Girl in bathroom stall #1: I have really exciting news!
Girl in bathroom stall #2: You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: No. When I bought these pants they fit, and now they are too big! I've been trying to lose some weight.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's great! What size are they?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Ummm… 25s.
Girl in bathroom stall #2: That's like a size zero. Why are you trying to lose weight?
Girl in bathroom stall #1: Oh, is that too small or something? Restaurant Bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts

He Fucks an American for Breakfast, an American for Lunch, and Has a Sensible Dinner?

Very drunk 20-something in kebab shop: I'll have… a large chips… with ketchup… and mayonnaise. (pause) A quarter pounder cheese and bacon burger with extra cheese and bacon. Two pieces of fried chicken… with chili sauce… and a ten-inch pepperoni pizza.
Sober friend #1: Fucking hell, mate, that's a lot of food…
Sober friend #2: Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?
Kebab shop guy, in heavy Cypriot accent: Yeah! He's on a fucking American diet! Leamington Spa
England Overheard by: Bleep