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October 2008 Archives
Do I Question the Priest in Church?
Husband: How can women spend so much money on purses?
Wife: Shhh!
Coach Store
Pennsylvania
Categories: Couples | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Money | Pennsylvania | Questions | Stores | Women | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Men Are More Like Women Than We Like to Think
American bimbo, standing in front of an Italian painting of a martyr bleeding from his leg: Uhh, why is he, like, bleeding from his penis?
The Louvre
Paris
France
Overheard by: American art student
First, Imagine You Don't Admit Guests Back There
Very gay man: I need to sit like a man...wait, how do I do that?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: almost a lawyer.
In the Beverage Museum Hospitality Room
Guy #1: That Coke you're drinking is about three years old.
Guy #2: (spits out soda)
Guy #1: And that beer's at least eight years old.
Guy #2: What are you running here? A beverage museum?
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Illinois | Questions | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What? It Could Happen!
Middle aged woman: I'm going to walk in there one day and say to Agnes: "I'm *married*."
Shropshire
England
Overheard by: martinb
Categories: Default | England | Relationships | Women | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Despite Having Been Voted Off the Island
Foreigner: Man, there's so many foreigners here! They're everywhere!
Kyoto
Japan
Categories: Asia | Default | Foreigners | Geography | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Turned Out She Didn't Feel Breeze
Girl #1: Uhh...is someone gonna tell girlfriend over there her g-string is showing?
Girl #2: How does she not know? I don't know about everyone else, but I feel breeze!
Girl #1: I feel breeze!
Girl #2: Can't she feel breeze?
Girl #1: She has to feel breeze!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Default | Feelings | Girls | Overheard in Sydney | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Should I Write My Number on His Hand in Crayon?
Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha...you're charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I've heard.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | On the phone | Sexuality | Wisconsin | Words | Posted 2008-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Supposed to Go in?
Teen girl #1: What do you use vaseline for in sex, anyway?
Teen girl #2: So he can slide it in, you stupid fuck!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: LOL
And It's His Last Term
Midwestern American: Well, we never did find out if he was a racist or not, but there's not a whole lot left of him to find out now.
London
England
Overheard by: doe
Categories: Death & dying | Default | England | Race | Tourists | Posted 2008-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Show That Really Gets Kids Involved
(during Beauty and the Beast, the Beast enters stage)
Little girl in audience, loudly: Hi, beast!
Neptune Theatre, Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Ina
Religion Does Seem to Be the Opium Of the People
Tourist mom: I'm fascinated by religions. I always read about them. But I've been watching this four-hour documentary on the Mormons and I can't really get into it.
Daughter: Why not?
Tourist mom: Well, every time I watch it I fall asleep.
Temple Square
Salt Lake City, Utah
Do You Need More Evidence That McDonald's Is Hell?
Drunk guy to group of teenagers at McDonald's: Demon? Demon? Demon? Demon...
Florianópolis
Brazil
Overheard by: Marlon
Lack of Recognition Is Our Thing
Crazy guy at bus stop to young woman passing: Hey, girl, what's going on?
(girl passes without saying anything) Yeah, that's my girl right there!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Um, That's a Report on Homelessness
Cali MBA #1: The television news out here sucks.
Cali MBA #2: Yeah...and they're ugly.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Overheard at KMC | Students | TV shows | Posted 2008-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Woman With a Full Bladder Stops Believing in Multitasking
(in the ladies' restroom, after seeing camera flash from inside a stall)
Angry blonde in line: Oh, come on! There's a whole line of people out here who have to pee, and you twits are in there taking fucking pictures for your damn MySpace pages.
Two girls in one stall: We're just peeing.
Angry blonde, to no one in particular: Who the hell takes pictures of themselves on the damn toilet anyway? I can just see the caption on that one... "Night at Zen, usin' the potty." Jeez!
(the two girls come out of the stall, obviously offended...in full 80s garb).
Angry blonde: Bwaaahhhaaaaa hhhaaaa hhhaaaa, (deadpan) Fucking losers!
Zen Night Club
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: If she hadn't said it, I would have
I Carry This Pacifier to Remind Me of the Good Times
Photography professor: Yeah, I did this whole series about raves when I was in Tucson... I even dyed my hair yellow and shaved a daisy into it because, you know, I was "submersing myself in the culture." But that was a long time ago. Now I'm a teacher. Go figure, huh?
Photography Class
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Katie
The Girls Beat the Shit Out of Him After Class
AP English teacher: Can anyone tell me what feminine rhyme is?
Guy in class: Um, rhyme that's not very good?
Winona Senior High School
Winona, Minnesota
Overheard by: Stephanie Miene
Categories: Default | Education | Gender issues | Guys | Minnesota | Questions | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Said Such Hardship Makes One Stronger
Sorority girl: Yeah, there is no bread at the house, so I had to make my sandwich on a bun... a bun. (closes and blinks eyes slowly)
overheardatnu.blogspot.com
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Food | Girls | Overheard at Northwestern | Sorority types | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time I'll Use the Frathouse Shower
Skanky girl: My hair smells like cum.
Gleneagle Secondary School
Vancouver
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Compare and contrast | Cum | Default | Girls | Hair | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And a Wife
Girl #1: I need a new guy. That's not fair! He was able to recuperate real fast.
Girl #2: Yeah. Well, he had a girlfriend.
Texas
...In the Complete Absence of Underwear
Young college girl to group of boys and girls: We're already sluts cause we pants each other.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: that's not the only reason
Categories: Default | Girls | Overheard in Minneapolis | Sexuality | Sorority types | Students | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All I Know Is Their Wedding Has an Open Bar
Girl #1: I don't know, I mean...he's not the best looking.
Girl #2: Yeah, but neither is she. I mean, she can be...
Girl #1: Yeah, I mean, he's not really good looking, and she's not pretty-pretty, y'know?
Girl #2: I guess. I mean, I guess they fit together. What's her name anyway?
Girl #1: I don't know, "r" something.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Names | Overheard at Loyola | Relationships | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Many Watershed Moments Happen at Banana Republic
(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I'm ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Ian
Categories: Advice | Clothes | Default | Eavesdrop DC | Etiquette | Girls | Jobs & Careers | Offers and requests | Students | Posted 2008-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well What the Hell Kind of Sociology Tutor Are You, Anyway?
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard of swinging? (pause) Bestiality?
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Us
Daddy Has to Go Bring Home the Kibble
Man getting into car to dog barking wildly: No, you can't come. You have to stay home with mommy!
Westchester County, New York
Categories: Animals | Default | Family ties | Guys | New York | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But, in the End, He Let Us Both Graduate
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: BJs | Compare and contrast | Default | Georgia | Girls | Hipsters | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Later the Cafeteria Staff Served Us Pasta Boobies
Random freshman: And then this junior girl came up to me and was like, "look at this penis on my locker...his name is Napoleon."
Lakeland Regional High School
Wanaque, New Jersey
Overheard by: kristina
Categories: Default | Guys | History | Names | New Jersey | Penis | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Laguna Beach Got Canceled
Girl: I told him I didn't dance, because I didn't want to dance with him, but all these other guys asked me if I wanted to dance and I had to say no because I told him I didn't dance, but I really wanted to dance. So we have to go, so that I can dance.
Friend: So, did you dance with him?
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: needs new friends
Categories: California | Dancing | Default | Friends | Girls | Offers and requests | Questions | Wishes | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bottom Line: Can I Borrow a Pickle and Some Duct Tape?
Girl on cell: And I'm like "If you get to fuck me in the ass, then I get to fuck you!" Yeah, except then he's like, "Okay, sweet!" and I'm like, "Shit, that backfired."
University LRT Station
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: thrilled commuter
Categories: Backdoor | Canadia | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | On the phone | Threats | Train | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I May Just Be Really, Really Slutty
Woman to friend: How can she know she's bi at 16? I'm 35 and *I* don't know if *I'm* bi!
Outside Steinmart
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: BecauseISaidSo
Categories: Age and ageing | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Questions | Sexuality | Stores | Tennessee | Women | Posted 2008-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For a Second I Thought You Were Talking About Our Key-Parties
Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate "pop and switch?"
Mom: Uh...what's "pop and switch?"
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate "pop and switch." That's scary...
JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky
Overheard by: Dohiyi
If He Asked You Out, He Probably Likes Crazy Drag Queens
Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I'm on a first date and I'm really nervous.
Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois
Bear: Just Give Me an Excuse, You Ice-Cap-Melting-Rock-Throwing Motherfucker!
(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!
Zoo
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Sarah.
Categories: Animals | Dads | Default | New York | Offers and requests | Questions | Threats | Tourist attractions | Violence | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Not As Fun As Quiet Contemplation Of Our Lord's Bounty, But Close
Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she is? I wear heels and I'm 5′8". I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you're sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I'm up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger (after uncomfortable pause): That sounds fun.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: yes it does
Categories: Black people | Compare and contrast | Conductors | Default | Overheard in Minneapolis | Race | Religion | Shoes | Whiteys | Women | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Posing Clown Hypotheticals, Eh? Just Like an Irishman
Guy: What would you do if a clown jumped through the window and tried to abduct you by putting a sleeping bag over your head?
Girl: I'd whup his ass.
Guy: You'd whup his ass, would you? Just like an American.
England
Overheard by: E.
While You, Me, and Dupre Taught Me to Value Threesomes
Cute girl to friend: But I don't want a booty call! (pause) But the message of the notebook made me realize how important they are.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Anna
Going to Synagogue Is Supposed to Be a Drag
Teen goth girl: Yeah, I was going to go. But, seriously, what's the point of Bar Mitzvahs without trannies?
Bridgeland
Calgary
Canadia
Well, We're Stopping, but We're Not Stopping-Stopping
Conductor (at tube stop before Finchley Road station): This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. I repeat, this train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (train pulls into Finchley Road, slows down and stops) This train will not be stopping at Finchley Road. (pause) I'm aware that we've actually stopped at Finchley Road, but we will not be stopping at Finchley Road.
Jubilee Underground Line
London
England
Overheard by: Tom
Categories: Conductors | Default | England | Public transportation | Train | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When God Closes a Tomb, He Opens the Doors
Lunching law firm girl #1: Oh god, when it comes to my track record... Seriously, I've dated two vampires and a guy who thought he was Jim Morrison reincarnated.
Lunching law firm girl #2: That's ridiculous. (pause) My junior year high school English teacher was Jim Morrison reincarnated. God!
Quizno's
Tucson, Arizona
Categories: About celebrities | Arizona | Coworkers | Default | Education | Employees | Girls | Relationships | Restaurants | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I Reject Your Bourgeois Conventions
Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name's Simon!
Girls' Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia
Overheard by: Ellen
But All It Tells Me Is When They're Ready!
Guy: Where did all the animals go? I don't know, why don't you go ask your microwave!
Art Camp
Tallahassee, Florida
From The Mouths of Babes...
Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.
Mission Santa Barbara, California
Then Why Have I Seen Paintings of It?
Psychology professor, on the topic of conditioning: Well, you can't spank a dolphin!
UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: really?
This Happens a Lot at Hippie Sex Retreats
Drunk guy: Oh my god! Everyone in this room is so ugly!
Irish Pub
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jackie
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Default | Drunks | Feelings | Guys | Pennsylvania | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just to Cite One Example
Grandma: I don't like these halogen lightbulbs. They are ugly, like men's penises.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha
You Promised We'd Watch Action Movies and Fuck Me in the Butt Tonight
Yuppie boyfriend (excitedly): Let's have an Ashton Kutcher movie marathon night!
Yuppie girlfriend (whispering): Honey, we've already talked about this...
Blockbuster
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Pallas
Categories: About celebrities | California | Couples | Default | Girls | Guys | Movies | Stores | Posted 2008-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Your Wife's Getting Tired of Serving Me Tea
Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.
London
England
Categories: BJs | Default | England | Feelings | Girls | Infidelity | On the phone | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Lost Her Entire Purse, and They Were Married That Night
Woman #1: We went to a club together one time and they were still dating, and he kept trying to kiss me. Well, I refused to. But then my cell phone got stolen and I was mad, so we made out. A lot.
Woman #2: You made out with him because your phone got stolen?
Woman #1: Yeah, basically. I was pissed and trying to have a good night, and he's very attractive. So I was like, "let's go!"
Woman #2: I think you're my hero.
Woman #1: I'm supposed to go to a concert with him next week.
Woman #2: Well, don't lose your wallet, because then you'll have to do him.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Overheard by: James
Categories: Advice | Crimes | Default | Feelings | Infidelity | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | North Carolina | Questions | Relationships | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because at the Moment I'm a Good Dad
Voice across patio: So, I'm trying to be good mom, so I took the gonorrhea test. I'm all about the penis.
Billings, Montana
Might Be Time to Block Cinemax, Mom
Little girl to popsicle: And then I'm going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Concerned mother: Kelly! I told you not to talk to popsicles!
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: Ian
I'd See You're Full Of Shit Is What I'd See
Professor: I mean, if you saw Eminem on the street you'd say, "He's white," but if you see him kickin' ass in 8 Mile, then you'd see he's black.
Haines Hall
UCLA, California
Overheard by: downtown
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Movies | Music | Race | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm a Strong Proponent of Laissez-Éclair Ideology
Professor: So where else could the US get money for the $700 billion dollar economic bailout other than the American taxpayers?
Student: I think that they should have a bake sale!
Meredith College
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Advice | Colleges & Universities | Default | Food | Money | North Carolina | Politics | Questions | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Birthday Wishes Are More Complex Than Others
Girl on cell: I hope that I am never in the position where I need to ask your mother about your sister's vagina, my dear.
Wisconsin
Overheard by: Sara
Categories: Default | Family ties | Feelings | Girls | On the phone | Vagina | Weirdness | Wisconsin | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Case in Point
Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?
Michigan State University, Michigan
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Diet & weight | Michigan | Questions | Students | Teachers | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then We March Through Georgia!
Foreign language professor on first day of class (in Russian): By the end of this year, I will have you singing like Russian whores!
University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Education | Geography | Language barrier | Teachers | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Seen Enough Of Hell
Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.
Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not from here
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Louisiana | Questions | Religion | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | US Geography | Wishes | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
They Were All Cured by Evangelicals
Bimbette, staring at Gay-Straight Alliance meeting sign: Oh my god, the gay thing was *so* five years ago.
Troy High School
Fullerton, California
Categories: Bimbettes | California | Default | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sexuality | Stupidity | Time Management | Words | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Some Peer Counselors' Life Lessons Are Better Than Others
Dude #1: Dude, if you're gonna artificially inseminate your sister's girlfriend, you gotta fuck her, right?
Dude #2: Absolutely!
Dude #1: Otherwise, you got no respect for yourself.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: elizabeth
I'm Just a City Boy, Prof
Prof, to guy whose ringtone is "Don't Stop Believing": Aren't you a little young to like that song?
Princeton University
New Jersey
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Default | Music | New Jersey | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Also Influences My Sleep Patterns and the Santa Ana Winds
Male student: I feel that this case may have been influenced by the fact that...well, people just hate Michael Bolton.
Seton Hall Law School
South Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: he's got a point
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Default | Feelings | Guys | Music | New Jersey | Students | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What With Finding the Area Under My Curve
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early...he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Education | Fears | Florida | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Extra Surprising When We Found Out You Were a Boy
Dumb blonde: Like that time we were at that party, and everyone was naked, and it was a surprise party!
State College, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I bet it was a surprise, all right...
Categories: Default | Girls | Idiots | Pennsylvania | Sexuality | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For Profit, Actually
Professor: Is that fist in the air a hand-up for a comment or are you just fisting for fun?
UBC
Vancouver, BC
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Questions | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That Makes You Afterbirth, Sis
Teen boy being pushed through large crowd: I feel like I'm being born!
Parking Lot
Giants Stadium, New York
Overheard by: Gaby Young
It's for Grandma's Glaucoma
Employee: Hi, can I help you find anything?
Ghetto kid: Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Marijuana Horticulture.
Employee: Yeah, I know that book. I think we are out, though.
Bookstore
Stockton, California
Overheard by: Can I get some of that?
Categories: Books | California | Default | Drugs | Employees | Guys | Offers and requests | Stores | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Every Job That Must Be Done, There Is an Element of Fun
Gay male flight attendant: If you'll be requiring wheelchair assistance when we get to Cleveland, please remain seated. Because, if you stand up, we'll assume you've been healed by the Holy Spirit and no longer need our help.
Passengers: (laughter)
Flight attendant: And please keep your seatbelts fastened until we've reached the gate and come to a complete stop.
(man in front row unbuckles his belt)
Flight attendant: Stop it, cheater!
Southwest Airlines Flight
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Erica
Categories: Airports & flights | Default | Flight attendants | God | Offers and requests | Ohio | Public transportation | Queers | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So You Like Admit Shooting the Sheriff, but Deny You Shot the Deputy?
High school football player #1: I'll be watching you guys from the stands today.
High school football player #2: What? Why? Did you get suspended?
High school football player #1: Yeah.
High school football player #2: Why?
High school football player #1: Cause of what I said. But I didn't pee in any helmets.
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tom
Who's Going As Pontius Pilate of Nottingham?
Bimbette, looking at halloween costumes online with her boyfriend: Oh, look! You can go as Robin Hood and I'll be Mary Magdalene!
RIC College
Providence, Rhode Island
Categories: Bimbettes | Books | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | History | Rhode Island | Stupidity | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Consider Your Face Sucked
Boyfriend: If we were in person right now, I would totally suck your face right now.
Girlfriend: We *are* in person.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
(they walk on casually)
Memorial City Mall
Houston, Texas
She Was Like, "Your Dad Really Enjoys Puttin' on the Ritz, Honey!"
20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, "Whoa, mom--your nipples are like top hats!"
Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sara
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Illinois | Nipples | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Thought I Was Your Main Squeeze?
20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: tara
Categories: Default | Girls | Kids | Moms | Offers and requests | Overheard in Minneapolis | Questions | Time Management | Posted 2008-10-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks
Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so...ahem...close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Categories: Compare and contrast | Condoms | Dads | Default | Family ties | Siblings | Virginia | Words | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Nobody in the State Is That Color
Girl to waitress: So the baby's a cute little bugger. They don't know who he looks like yet.
Olive Garden
Davenport, Iowa
Overheard by:
...To Paraphrase Nietzsche
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. "Your mom died of overdose" is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But...I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Crimes | Default | Drugs | Family ties | Fears | Offers and requests | Ohio | On the phone | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fowl Behavior?
Woman: So, I want a small frozen turkey.
Meat guy: Okay, just right over here.
Woman: Ewww... What's wrong with this one?
Meat guy: Sorry?
Woman: Well, is something missing?
Meat guy: Um... No.
Woman: Well, what is this "grain fed" business??
Meat guy: Oh, that means it's fed with grains.
Woman: Oh! (picks up turkey and leaves)
Grocery Store
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Matt C
Says the Girl Who Bought Full House on DVD?
Guy: Wouldn't it be funny if she was actually selling her baby down in Mexico, and she ended up on 48 Hours Mystery, and we could say we knew her when?
Girl: I don't think you understand comedy.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
What Is It About Three Measures of Central Tendency on a Clean Sheet?
Prof: I like to click on the descriptive statistics checkbox in order to pleasure myself!
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
Overheard by: Can't believe she said that
Freud: See, That's What I Always Thought
Older woman, speaking fondly of her husband: I just want to go home and be with my Dick.
Boise, Idaho
Overheard by: just me
How Do You Think the Lollipop Guild Got Their Name?
Girl #1: So my computer is dead, and I don't know how to fix it.
Girl #2: What do you think is wrong with it?
Girl #1: It's got a virus. But it was totally worth it.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah? Why?
Girl #1: Well, Mary* and I were curious and wanted to know if midgets' dicks are normal-sized or midget-sized, so we were looking up midget porn.
Girl #2: And the verdict is?
Girl #1: They're normal-sized. This one guy was seriously a tripod. It's incredible.
Male bartender: Yeah, I can see how that would be worth a completely devastating virus on your computer. Can you write down the website you found it on?
Killarney's Pub
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Bartenders | Girls | Guys | New Jersey | Offers and requests | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Technology | Posted 2008-10-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Well He Did Have Unlimited Access to Food
Teen boy: Look! There's that pink car with the fat lady again!
Teen girl: She's everywhere! She must be Jesus!
Athens, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Mateo
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Girls | Guys | Jesus | Pennsylvania | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Let's Let Liquor Decide
Layer-wearing college student: We went to Ikea in a Zipcar, and some jerk had left all their Starbucks trash in the front seat.
Queer: You are such a trendy bitch I don't know whether to hug you or puke on your shoes.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i'd go with puke
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Insults | Massachusetts | Queers | Students | Yeahhh, college! | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Believe It's Pronounced "Ho"
Tiny girl to friend: You're not fat, you're Santa Claus-esque. Get it right, whore.
Coronado Middle School
Coronado, California
Overheard by: they won the game
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Diet & weight | Friends | Girls | Insults | Kids | Santa Claus | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Words | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She Has to Pee Sometime While She's in There Looking for Her Career
College girl: If anyone ever tried to tell me not to pee outside, I'd take it straight to the Supreme Court! I mean, I'm not gonna pee in someone's face or on a baby or anything, but if I wanna pee in a dumpster, then I will! (pause) Rosie O'Donnell would be with me on this. I don't know why, but she would.
East Lansing
Michigan
Overheard by: Everyone should have a cause...
Categories: About celebrities | Crimes | Default | Girls | Michigan | Pee | Sorority types | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But My Ass Got Hungry
Man #1, shouting: Are you wearing a thong? Dude, this dude's wearing a thong! Why are you wearing a thong?
Man #2: Well, it didn't start out that way.
Oberlin, Ohio
I've Now Been Hired As a Paper Shredder
Drunk bride: One time, I broke my dildo into two pieces. With my...you know. (other girls look at her in disbelief) What? I was horny!
Bridal Shower
Norway
Overheard by: Hege
If You Have Further Interest, You Can Sign Up for My Pubic History Class This Spring
Professor, discussing an 18th century painting: Now, it is important to remember that at this time women did not wear panties. This is a beaver shot par excellence!
San José State University
California
Categories: California | Class | Clothes | Colleges & Universities | Default | Gender issues | History | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Three If He Bites You
Man holding nose picking child: Fiver to hug the child! Just a fiver, a fiver to cuddle the child!
Belfast
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: I'll give you £2!
Brenda's Expecting a Wee One
Girl sitting at desk: I've got to pee. I've got to pee. Urine needs to come out of my uterus.
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: LC
Her Idol Is Martha Stewart
Dad, seeing his little girl spit in a soda bottle: This is disgusting, nobody will want to drink from it now.
Little girl: I know, that's why I did it.
Dad: That's not nice. Smart, but not nice.
Pumpkin Farm
Half Moon Bay, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Dads | Default | Girls | Kids | Kids | Parenting | Posted 2008-10-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Wait 'Til He Discovers Glue
Two-year-old to father lacing his shoes: When you put your big toe in your nose and you smell it, it's awesome. You should try it.
Alameda, California
Categories: Advice | Body parts | California | Default | Health & Hygiene | Kids | Sensory experiences | Posted 2008-10-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Which Is Why You Kick Ass at Supermarket Sweep
Teenage boy to girlfriend: You have the advantage, because you can use your boobs to carry things.
Charlestown Square
Newcastle
Australia
Overheard by: Callie
It'll Get Better Once I Figure Out What the New Black Is
Guy: So, you dance in the room where nobody else does?
Girl: Yeah, I guess nobody understands me. Not even at goth night.
Louisville, Kentucky
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Spoiled overtanned blonde: Oh my god, my ex just texted me to go fucking die. How do you spell "psycho?"
Philadelphia, Pennsyvania
And Why Is There Ham in My Lingerie Drawer?
Customer: The last thing I want in my refrigerator is another pair of pantyhose!
Charlottesville, Virginia
So I Won't Be Voting for Him for President
Gay man to friend: He's not hot enough to have AIDS!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser
How About You Guys Write the Questions
Girl: So, what's the test going to be like?
Professor: Hard... No, I don't know. I've never done this before.
College Station, Texas
I Guess Shaking My Hand After Sex Is a Good Compromise
Middle aged woman: I want him to think of me as the kind of friend who shakes your hand, not the friend you jump into bed with.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Illinois | Relationships | Sexuality | Women | Posted 2008-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In the Back, with I.C. Weiner and Amanda Hugginkiss
Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named "male libido?"
Bartender: Yep!
Prescott, Arizona
Overheard by: The Colinator
Categories: Arizona | Bars & Clubs | Bartenders | Customers | Default | Names | Questions | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...But You Found a Scarf? Score!
Bimbette on phone, nonchalantly: So you lost your baby?
Ann Arbor, Michigan
But It Was Actually the Four Horsemen and Their Nasty, Old Apocalypse
Professor: I thought it was an "Oh my god, ponies!" moment.
Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: It had to be...
Takes a Talented Lady to Do Those Simultaneously
Girl: All she does is walk around and get knocked up.
Parking Garage
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: hhmm...
Categories: Default | Florida | Girls | Time Management | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Always Knew You Leprechauns Were an Intelligent People
Tiny girlfriend: I know way more Killers songs than I thought!
Tall boyfriend (patting her head): It's because you're clever.
Northern Ireland
Overheard by: Limeinside
Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails
Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.
Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Age and ageing | Beauty | Default | Girls | Offers and requests | Oregon | Questions | Relationships | Restaurants | STDs | Teens | Posted 2008-10-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Don't Expect That During Dental X-Rays
Girl on phone: Yeah, and your boobs hang out! It's weird!
College Station, Texas
Really Brought Down Property Values
Large black woman: They were the finest people on the block, but man, were their kids ugly!
Kohl's
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jyoshiki
Categories: Beauty | Black people | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Kids | New Jersey | Women | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One Of the Perks of Hiring Jesus As a Bartender
Guy on cell: I'll buy you an infinite beer!
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | Massachusetts | Offers and requests | On the phone | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Suppose This White Porcelain Fixture Could Be Used for Urination?
Bimbette in bathroom stall: So what are these hooks for?
Friend: To like, hang your coat or bag or whatever.
Bimbette: Oh my god! I am so stupid! I've been putting my coat on the floor! How long have you known about this? (runs out of stall, yells to random girl) Did you know about the hooks?! (girl nods) I am so stupid!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: chloe
This Is the Same Girl Who Checks Out the Basement in Horror Movies
Crying girl to boyfriend: But I love you! You love me!
Boyfriend: Listen very carefully to me. I fucked her. You shouldn't have been a bitch to me about your friends. Now you can get over this and stop being a bitch and we can go get dinner and ice cream and then go home and fuck like sexy little drunk bunnies, or you can keep it up and find yourself without a boyfriend. Your call. Move on and be in love with me, or be a bitch and get dumped.
Girlfriend, still crying: I'm sorry.
Boyfriend: I know. It's okay.
Atlanta, Georgia
Show the Driver Your Sippy Cup, Boy
Little boy to tour bus driver: Thank you.
Bus driver: Now that's a sign of good parenting.
Parent, as he steps off bus: Yeah. We're takin' him on a whiskey tour.
Jack Daniels Distillery
Lynchburg, Tennessee
Categories: Bus drivers | Compare and contrast | Compliments | Default | Education | Guys | Kids | Parenting | Parents | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Not an Expert on Bone Density, But Wouldn't the Floor Be Getting Closer?
Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old
Categories: Age and ageing | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Drugs | Health & Hygiene | New Jersey | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stepford Children Know What's Good for Them
Four-year-old girl licking gelato off a tiny spoon: This tastes like electricity!
Mom: That's right, honey.
Piccomolo Gelato Shop
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Meaggoo
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Girls | Kids | Moms | Sensory experiences | Stores | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Kid's Got a Point
Two-year-old girl: Fuck that. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!
Orthodontist
Gilbert, Arizona
Overheard by: KBizz
Eli Whitney: I Swear, Sir, That Was Never My Intention!
Drunk college girl: She doesn't use tampons because she doesn't want anything up there except her husband's dick? So, if she used tampons she'd be like, "Oh, I'm sorry honey, I lost my virginity to a cotton stick?" What a retard!
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Megan
Categories: Default | Drunks | Health & Hygiene | Insults | Penis | Relationships | Sorority types | Stupidity | Tennessee | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except That Donatello Would Never Leave You Dangling
Teacher: See, adjectives are boring old turtles.
Students: Uhhh.
Teacher: But participles are like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Marshall High School
Virginia
Overheard by: amused student....
Categories: Animals | Compare and contrast | Default | Pop culture | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Teachers | Words | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Sung to the Tune of "Camptown Races"
Stoner girl: My camel toe looks like an angry clam!
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Huh?
Categories: Body parts | Compare and contrast | Girls | Stoners | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Assume It's a Craft Project and Go on With Your Life
Girl on cell: Well, Kristy's brain was there, so that's good, but all the other brains were gone. Plus the whole bucket of eyes!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Categories: Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | On the phone | Virginia | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Technically, It Was a Barbie Doll and a Handkerchief
Sidewalk hoodlum to another: He had this bangin' ass bitch all up in his tent--and he doesn't even have a tent!
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: Fzzzzzzzt
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Sexuality | Thugs | Washington | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
After Not Returning My Calls This Weekend
Girl, to barking dog: Don't talk to me like you know me!
Wyoming, Michigan
Overheard by: Roxie
Categories: Default | Girls | Michigan | Offers and requests | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
My Kids Never Get Me the Right Christmas Gift
Chunky drunken woman shouting to friend and waving her arms wildly: I don't want no peepshow! I wanna dildo!
Downtown Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Bowtie Daddy
Excellent-- Let the Beatings Begin
Mom: Honey, don't eat your boogers!
Two-year-old: But mommy, I like them!
Mom, exasperated: Go to your dad.
Supermarket
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ryskie
Because I've Been Practicing That One-Foot-at-a-Time Maneuver All Week
Guy to another: So is it a pants party?
Purdue University
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Alexa, Alicia, Eric
And Don't Get Me Started on the Blood, Dawg
Pastor, placing a piece of bread in guy's hand: The body of Christ, given to you.
Teen girl, just in earshot: The body be stale, yo.
Teen girl's friend: I hear ya.
St. Jude's Church
Oakville, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Feebriel
Categories: Canadia | Default | Food | Girls | Gripes | Jesus | Religious fanatics | Sensory experiences | Teens | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Peril Of Having Access to Unlimited Loaves and Fishes
Irate woman, commenting on depiction of Jesus at the Sidewalk Art Festival: He was so fat I couldn't even focus on the fact he was supposed to be Jesus.
Savannah, Georgia
Categories: Default | Diet & weight | Georgia | Jesus | Women | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So Obviously It's Not Bitchy After All
Girl on cell: I overheard some chick at a bus stop talking shit about how some other girl shouldn't have been wearing some outfit because she didn't have the body for it. At first, I thought "what a bitch!" then I realized we have that exact same conversation all the time.
Venice, California
Categories: California | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Diet & weight | Girls | Insults | On the phone | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...And Boy Are My Arms Tired!
Hootchie #1: Yeah, we just got back from a dildo party.
Hootchie #2: And we smell like two-dollar hookers!
Des Moines, Iowa
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Hoochies | Iowa | Money | Sensory experiences | Toys | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Yoga Began
Teen girl: I think I'm going to lie on my bed in a butterfly position.
Friend: Oh, to air out your STD?
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: evanescent
When "Come Here Often?" Just Isn't Special Enough
Awkward girl: Are you an organ donor?
Uninterested guy: No.
Awkward girl: You should donate your skin. It's nice. Non-cancerous.
Uninterested guy: I'm good.
Awkward girl: Oh. So what's up with guys always having to spread their seed?
BART Train
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Grace
Categories: Advice | Default | Girls | Guys | Health & Hygiene | Questions | San Francisco | Train | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
...Is What I'll Be Saying About Winston Churchill in My Report
Random guy: He's like a cross between Michael Jackson and a Swiss Army knife.
University
England
Categories: About celebrities | Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | England | Guys | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Haven't We Established That It's 42?
Dopey girl: I once figured out the secret of life.
Friend: Really? What?
Dopey girl: You see, that's the problem.
Friend: What do you mean?
Dopey girl: I forgot it.
Friend: Well, that sucks.
Dopey girl: Yeah. I would've made a lot of money off of that too.
Friend: Well, if it comes back to you...
Dopey girl: Oh--don't worry. You'll be the first to know.
Running Track
Loganville, Georgia
And Possibly a Few Sex Hats
Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like...jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
Categories: Clothes | Default | Friends | Girls | Massachusetts | Masturbation | Stores | Wishes | Posted 2008-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
So I've Enrolled in Fiona Apple's Course at the Learning Annex
Artsy girl: I have not yet discovered the magic of anger.
Tampa Museum of Art
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: bunguin
The Training Begins in the Womb
Drunk guy: Excuse me assholes, pregnant woman coming through.
Drunk pregnant wife: I fell down the stairs yesterday, my baby is like one of the warriors from 300.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: MN
But I Hear There's a Starbucks There Now
Waiter: I think it would be cool to live on the moon...
Waitress: Yeah, I don't think I could do that. I'm afraid of heights.
Texas City, Texas
Overheard by: TurboCat
Is That the Best Way to Take the Moral High Ground?
Woman #1: So, you think he is?
Woman #2: No, you don't really think he is?
Woman #3: Hell, yes! I know he is. He is cheating on his wife and me. I'm gonna cut off his dick and then quit! That'll teach him.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Jon
Categories: Default | Eavesdrop DC | Infidelity | Penis | Questions | Sexuality | Violence | Weirdness | Women | Posted 2008-10-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Plus Side, It Totally Livens Up the Post Office Line
Girl: It's like, you're just doing whatever, and suddenly you're in the middle of an orgy, you know?
Friend: Yeah, I totally know.
Memorial University, St. John's
Newfoundland, Canadia
Overheard by: Clearly doing
NewsFlash: Cultural References from 1998 Finally Reach Missouri
Flight attendant: Fasten your seatbelt low and tight around your waist, like Britney Spears' pants.
Airplane
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: About celebrities | Advice | Airports & flights | Body parts | Clothes | Compare and contrast | Default | Flight attendants | Missouri | Offers and requests | Posted 2008-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Any Time I Look Down
Student: Hermaphrodites have everything. They have the whole package.
Professor: Yeah, hermaphrodites have it all. I've seen it on the internet.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Categories: Connecticut | Default | Health & Hygiene | Internet | Sexuality | Students | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Spies Go on Dates
Man coming out of Tibetan restaurant: But I saw the rabbit!
Woman: No, the rabbit is dead. I promise you, the rabbit is dead.
Boulevard de Magenta
Paris, France
Overheard by: Texpat
Los Angeles Peformances of Cinderella Are Often Fraught with Confusion
Girl #1: Does she need a green card?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: So he just loves her?
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Girls | Questions | Relationships | Posted 2008-10-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Founder Of IHOP Was Just a Kid with a Dream
Teen on cell: If you can flip it, you deserve to flip it. If it's flippable, I'm flippin' it.
Grand River Avenue
Michigan
...Who Never Invite Me to Your Parties
Professor, discussing the concept of virtue in literature: Today, when you hear the word "virtue", you just kind of laugh. And that's because your souls are all festering masses of corruption.
Literary Theory Class
Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: Reb
Mavis Returns to the Quiet Dignity Of Ice Cream
Woman to friend: I cannot even begin to tell you about the ridiculousness of yogurt.
The Gayborhood
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: inquiring mind
Tonight on Fox: Rapunzel--the True Story
College chick to friend: With my luck I'll be the girl with the twenty-foot clitoris.
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: ORLY
That's Your Yearbook Quote?
Teenage girl to friends: The groin is the eye, no?
Teen friend: The eyes are the groin of the face!
First teen: Right!
Ferry
Larkspur, California
Overheard by: I Know, I know
Categories: Boat/Ferry | Body parts | California | Compare and contrast | Default | Friends | Girls | Questions | Teens | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How This Is Relevant to Jane Eyre Has Yet to Become Clear
Professor: So the idea of women getting foreplay before sex often ends up being a way...
Student (cutting her off): For him to get you just wet enough so he can stick it in.
Professor: Well, I was trying to think of a more polite way to say it, but...yes.
Shout-out: www.overheardatumbc.com
Categories: Compare and contrast | Default | Etiquette | Foreplay | Girls | Overheard at UMBC | Students | Teachers | Women | Words | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Leave Pippi Longstocking Alone.
Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she's getting more action than you or because she's corrupting our youth?
Denver, Colorado
Who Doesn't Like Bill Murray?
Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.
Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: JD
Points for Playing Through the Pain, Though
Girl: The moral of the story is: "Don't give blow jobs with a dislocated jaw!"
Rhodes University
South Africa
Categories: Advice | Africa | BJs | Body parts | Colleges & Universities | Default | Girls | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mrs. Potato-Head Faces a Unique Set of Problems
Girl, getting wash and cut: Then I was walking around for a few months without an elbow.
Stylist: Wow!
Girl: So finally in July they put my elbow back in.
Stylist: Well, that's good.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: porkchop on a stick
Categories: Body parts | Compliments | Default | Employees | Girls | Health & Hygiene | Minnesota | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Working My Way Up to Toads Racing Camels Around Post Offices
Girl standing at the bar: I train armadillos to race horses around banks.
Killarney's
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the beginning of that conversation...
Categories: Animals | Bars & Clubs | Default | Girls | New Jersey | Weirdness | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Other Than Getting Punched, of Course
Chick: Giving a blow job is totally the best lip plumper.
Alameda, California
Categories: Advice | BJs | Beauty | Body parts | California | Chicks | Default | Posted 2008-10-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
At Least Pretend to Turn It Off
Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.
Adelaide Airport
Australia
Categories: Age and ageing | Airports & flights | Australia | Cell phones | Compare and contrast | Default | Flight attendants | Offers and requests | Public Transportation | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Wastebasket?
Professor: We're so obsessed about wasting time. But where does the time go when it's wasted?
San Diego, California
Categories: California | Default | Philosophy | Questions | Teachers | Time Management | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How to Come Out to Your Parents in One Easy Step
Dad: Oh, the menu says they have fish tacos. Have you ever had a fish taco? I've never had a fish taco.
Mom: No, I haven't. I don't think I'm going to get a fish taco.
Young daughter (under her breath): Fish tacos make me think bad things.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: they make me think bad things too
David Hasselhoff Preps for His Next Audition
Guy on urinal on the phone: Yeah, let slip the dogs of war...protein. No truer words have ever been spoken...Shakespeare didn't know shit... (farts loudly) Fuck! (farts again) Fuck. Energy drinks...I'm outta here.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Categories: Books | Burping & farting | Colleges & Universities | Default | Drinking & drunks | Guys | On the phone | Restroom | Virginia | Weirdness | Words | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We'll Be Married in the Spring.
Girl to friends: I thought I was playing hard to get, but it turns out I was playing "I hate you".
Elon University
Elon, North Carolina
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Compare and contrast | Default | Feelings | Friends | Games | Girls | North Carolina | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Once, I'd Like Somebody to Weep With Gratitude
Annoying girl #1: She's the only girl I know that really wants to fuck a 90-year-old man.
Annoying girl #2: I really would!
Chilis, New Jersey
Overheard by: K
Categories: Age and ageing | Default | Friends | Girls | New Jersey | Sexuality | Weirdness | Wishes | Posted 2008-10-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Geography One: Self-Awareness Zero
Professor: The best time to study geography is in the morning after you've done the "walk of shame." It will help you to keep your mind off of what you've done." (cracks up) That's good shit.
Geography Classroom
Michigan State
Warren Beatty Should Stop Having Work Done
Tall, skinny kid: He's...like...suspiciously Asian.
Tall skinny friend: That's what I thought too!
Arby's
Tempe, Arizona
...Or Stay Here and Piss My Initials? Make Up Your Mind
Thug to another: You want me to go home and take a shit?
Lake Grove, New York
Whereas We Brazilians Prefer Vast Generalization
Brazilian tourist chick: Everyone here really likes turnips!
Liverpool Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Yoshi
Buy Me a Pony and I'll Throw in the Windshield
Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!
Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas
Overheard by: I love Mommy too
We Already Knew That About the Eiffel Tower
Lecturer: I don't know, a horny Frenchman made this up.
Chemistry Lecture
University of Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: laura
Categories: Australia | Colleges & Universities | Default | Sexuality | Teachers | Posted 2008-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gotta Give Senator McCain Points for Persistence, Though
Guy to friend: He had to make a PowerPoint presentation about making PowerPoint presentation. And I had to walk him through it.
Manuel's Tavern
Atlanta, Georgia
Categories: Default | Friends | Georgia | Guys | Technology | Posted 2008-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Tucked in Your Gunt
Lesbian bartender: I am so mad right now.
Gay bartender (affectionately touching her cheek): Awwww...honey... You shaved!
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Bartenders | Default | Lesbos | Massachusetts | Queers | Posted 2008-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except Target Shooters in Vegas
Woman: Well, I still think I should be allowed to join the army if I want to.
Man: Oh yeah, you totally should. I'm just saying, I don't think women should go to *war*. I mean, no one wants to see, like, boobs getting shot at.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Megan
Categories: Body parts | Canadia | Default | Gender issues | Guys | Violence | Women | Posted 2008-10-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You're the Worst Thesis Advisor Ever
Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies