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October 2007 Archives
Or Just Go Ahead and Freak Ou t-- Might Be Fun
Girl #1: If I see one more blonde girl, I am going to freak out.
Girl #2: You know what you should do? Move to Africa.
Hartford, Connecticut
Categories: Advice | Chicks | Connecticut | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Pissing Up a Rope, Then
Four-year-old boy: But Mommy, I don't need gravity! I just had to pee!
New Jersey
Categories: Kids | New Jersey | Pee | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's My Upper Lip, Sweetie
Three-year-old boy: Mum, where is your vagina?
Mum: Tom, you know where it is...
Three-year-old boy: Ohhh, is that it, under all that hair?
Ladies' room
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Anna
Categories: Australia | Questions | Should have used a condom | Vagina | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gonna Cost Us to Get Out of It Alive
Angry kid: Mom! I don't want to go shopping!
Mom: We are not shopping -- we are on an adventure!
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Overheard by: I love adventures
Stalking Tip: A Smart Pocket Dress Can Hide Your Huge Man Hands
Chick #1: So, I have to quit my job because a transvestite is stalking me.
Chick #2: Are they hitting on you?
Chick #1: Nope, just stalking.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: a classmate
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Child Psychologists Exist
Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We're going to the panty store! We're going to the panty store! We're going to the panty store!
Victoria's Secret
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
You, Missy, Are No Alcoholic!
Friend #1: It just gets yummier as you go from one shot glass to the next.
Friend #2: Which side do you start from?
Friend #1: It doesn't matter.
Friend #2: ... That doesn't make sense.
Plano, Texas
Categories: Drinking & drunks | Friends | Texas | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Didn't Do the Reading, Did You?
Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?
College of Charleston
South Carolina
Categories: Jesus | South Carolina | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-10-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I've Successfully Eliminated It
Son: I just don't understand it.
Father: That's because you have no imagination.
Foothills Mall
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Tempus
Not Until We Get a Few Things Straight in the Will
Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo!
Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: martha
So Blackmail Is Out
Nonchalant dude on cell: My parents are dead, okay? Everyone's dead, okay?
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Passing easily amused person
Categories: California | Death & dying | On the phone | Posted 2007-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Kinda Shake Myself Like a Wet Dog
Little girl: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom!
Mom: Okay, well, I don't think there is any toilet paper. You'll have to drip-dry.
Little girl: Okay! I love drip-drying!
St. Louis, Missouri
I Was Almost Sorry When He Got Expelled and Hanged Himself
Girl #1: Stalkers are the best because they make you feel kind of loved.
Girl #2: I've never had a stalker!
Girl #1: Oh, God! You've never had a stalker?
Girl #2: Well, not really.
Girl #1: Stalkers are really the best. Like Kyle -- he was the really creepy kind, because he actually touched my butt in the dining hall, and it was gross.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rvl
Categories: Bimbettes | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Baby: Are We Talking about Ass-Fucking Here?
Guy with baby: So, I found out that Ed tried something fairly kinky with Sarah when they got together at our wedding...
Girl: What? What did he try?
Guy with baby: It was fairly kinky...
Girl: Did he try to sodomize her?
Guy with baby: Alright, he did! But he was too drunk... She said it was like a marshmallow. [Turns to baby in baby talk] Wasn't my cousin a big silly to try to sodomize my roommate when he was in that state? Yes he was! Yes he was!
Dominick's Restaurant
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Jack
Who Looks a Little Like Danny DeVito
50-ish guy: ... And now I inherited his twin sister!
Woodstock, New York
Categories: Family ties | New York | Strangers | Posted 2007-10-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Just Clear the Table and Then You Can Start Flinging Your Poop
Waitress: You were a hungry bunch of monkeys, weren't you?
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Your Coquetry Piques My Curiosity
Dude: I want to fucking make out with you.
Chick: Yeah?
Dude: Yeah, maybe I will later.
Chick: Maybe.
Troy, New York
Overheard by: Andrew
Categories: K-I-S-S-I-N-G | New York | Strangers | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You'll Refer to the Third Bullet-Point on My Resume
Drunk queer: I can pick up a shot glass with my ass!
Outside Grand Central
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
And Have Liposuction on the Delivery Table
Bimbette on cell: Oh, okay, so she can't gain any more weight. That should be easy -- she's only at the beginning of the pregnancy. She just has to stop eating.
Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey
Categories: Bimbettes | Diet & weight | New Jersey | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Student Is Ready, the Master Will Insult Him
Hobo: Fuck you, ya dirty fuckhole!
Male passerby: Wait -- 'fuckhole'? Is that, like, a cooch or an ass?
Hobo: Depends on if you're gay or not. For you, it's an ass.
Denny Way
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Hobos | Insults | Washington | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Getting Sober Has Been a Mixed Blessing
Girl on cell: I mean, if I was a freshman I would've been all over him, but I'm not anymore and it sucks. Now I'm all paranoid about diseases and stuff, and I can't just do whatever I want -- I actually have to think about things.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gladimnotoneofthose
Categories: Gripes | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He Told Me He Was Saving the Good Roofies for Me
Sorostitute #1: So, he tried walking me back to his frat house and he was holding my hand... I should've fucked him, right?
Sorostitute #2: What? You just met him! And he's hooked up with Patricia*. I mean, hellooo -- bad taste.
Sorostitute #1: I totally should have. I mean, he was holding my hand, after all.
Duke University
Durham, North Carolina
Categories: Bonding | North Carolina | Sorority types | Posted 2007-10-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And No Zippers!
Little boy looking at swim trunks: I can't get one with a small hole because my penis gets stuck!
Target
Tempe, Arizona
So Put That Thing Away
Five-year-old boy to passing stranger: I ain't yo' baby's mama.
College Park, Maryland
Someday All That Water Will Join Up -- Then What?
High school boy: Damn, this is the part where we go over the ocean! I hate this shit! Every day going over the ocean! Shit!
Yellow Line train crossing the Potomac
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Not afraid of the Potomac
Categories: Idiots | Stupidity | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
To Understand, I Will Require Visual Aids
Blonde: I wish we got graded on our bras. I would get an A. Get it?
www.overheardincomo.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Kelsey
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard in Columbia | Rack | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, Asians Are Racists, Too?
Asian #1, watching Asian driver: Asian drivers suck!
Asian #2: Dude, you are one!
Asian #1: Oh, yeah.
Queen Street
Auckland
New Zealand
Categories: Asians | New Zealand | Race | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just the Lucky Ones, I Told 'Em
Woman: I was in Budapest and people would ask, 'Is everyone in America like Dick Cheney?' And I'm like, 'Fuck no!'
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Chicks | Overheard in PDX | Politics | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If You Know What I Mean
Child, as his dad videotapes a monkey: I can't see the monkey!
Dad: You'll see him when we get home.
Vilas Park Zoo
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: mike
Wouldn't Say I Missed 'Em, Bob
Bimbette: Oh my god! I just realized that I missed all of my classes today!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Overheard by:
Categories: Bimbettes | Education | Overheard at Loyola | Posted 2007-10-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Otherwise Quite Civilized
Dude: Is it okay if I bring her to the party this evening? She's a Republican.
Bookstore
Florence, Oregon
All You Gaywads Must Be Jealous
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
Being Universally Despised
Nerd #1: His dad was in the first white reggae band in San Antonio.
Nerd #2: Wow.
Nerd #1: Yeah. So it's, like, in his blood.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: texan tempest
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Texas | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Some Community Colleges It's an Admission Requirement
Girl: I was like, 'What the fuck,' you know? There's nothing wrong with me -- they're the stupid bitches! [People in cafeteria stare, and guy in corner starts cracking up.] Oh my god, is everyone here retarded?
Cafeteria, Thomas Nelson Community College
Virginia
And That's How We Toast in Sweden
Guy on cell: It's easy -- just grab the dick in one hand and a beer in the other!
Carmen's Bodega
Alingsås
Sweden
Overheard by: rymden
You Have to Do a Stupid Thing Six Hundred Times before It Kills You
Smoking office lady to others: She gets up on her roof, strips down, and just bakes in the sun. She thinks that just because she goes to the dermatologist once a month she's not going to get cancer. [Takes a long drag] What a retard!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: herbie mchebrew
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Philly | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lest She Put Ye Over the Side in a Howlin' Gale
Girl to guy #1: I hate you. I hate you so much! I hate you more than... Flotsam hates Jetsam!
Guy #2: Shit, dude, I'd watch out.
Jacksonville, Florida
The Last Temptation of Christie
Chick on cell: Christie! Christie! You better not smoke all of your cigarettes today! [Snaps phone shut.]
Shout-out: ohinmpls.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: On the phone | Overheard in Minneapolis | Smoking | Posted 2007-10-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just Another Part of the Fifties That Sucked
Eight-year-old looking at costume display: Who's Kukla, Mommy?
Mom, solemnly: Nobody knows, honey.
Fantasy Costumes
Chicago, Illinois
Besides, White Girls Don't Have Much Soul to Start With
Girl #1: Oh my god!
Girl #2: Hm?
Girl #1: I think Charlie ate my soul!
Girl #2: ... Is that a euphemism for something I don't want to hear about?
38X bus
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: this bus is weird...
Betty Soon Deconstructed Her Entire Reality
Girl on cell: Wait, what do you mean by downtown? Like, down... in a town?
Goucher College
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Hannah
Categories: Maryland | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Know Someone Who's Waking Up with a Donkey Tomorrow Morning
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don't remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Categories: Connecticut | Drinking & drunks | Drunks | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Because I'd Really Like to Get My Money's Worth
Girl: The schedule says 'Icebreaker activity.' Do you think that will involve a lot of bodily contact?
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Questions | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Want Me to Check?
Woman: Don't I strike you as blonde?
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Bimbettes | Hair | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-10-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are You Suggesting a Cause-and-Effect Relationship?
Hipster chick to friends: Speaking of pregnancy, who wants pizza?
Denver Art Museum
Colorado
Life Avoidance Is Fairly Inexpensive
Nerd: Just think of how much money I saved over winter break by playing World of Warcraft -- it was 10 dollars a month instead of paying for all the stuff I would have done had I gone out.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds |