Which Perhaps You Wouldn't Even Have If You Laid Off the Beer

Drunk man: I'm trashed to the tits!

Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Head

The Birth of the Pork Smoothie

Restaurant owner: Hey! I want you to come in here -- I got something that, when you put it in your mouth, it's gonna knock your socks off.
Regular: Oh, yeah? Is it a food or a drink?
Restaurant owner: Well, both, actually...

4th Street
Rochester, Michigan

And the Cat Keeps Eating It

Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you'll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won't.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

I Hope I'm Filled with Marshmallow

16-year-old girl: Organs are icky. I hope I don't have any.

Biology class, Carmel College
Brisbane
Australia

If You Insist

Girl arguing her bad translation is correct: Wait, this sentence says, 'I am... To be... Entered'!

Grad-level French class
California

Overheard by: Not Willing

It's Like Being Celibate, but Without the Effort

Man: I just get turned on by nuclear holocausts.

Gateway High School
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

There's a Drag Ball at Grandpa's Nursing Home Tonight

Girl to friend: So, how many skirts do you know that are made for the figure of a man?

Priestley College
Warrington
England

Overheard by: RuncornianAsh

Not Moonlite Bunny Ranch Caliber, Either

Girl #1: I know her. She's a skank.
Mother: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. You can smell the hooker coming off of her.

Cambridge, Ohio

Um, There's No One There

Girl, pointing: That kid -- he's my new friend.
Friend: What? That tiny kid?
Girl: Yeah. You said I need a new friend. That kid is my new friend.
Friend: Whatever.
Girl: I think his name is Kyle.

Cosmo Park
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Hillary Goes Right for the Marrow

Woman on cell: Well, how long will rehab take? Oh, yes, the biting problem... She's hasn't broken the skin in a while, though.

DSW Shoes
Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: mt

Answer Him, Bitch!

Little boy blowing into wrapping paper tube: Is this too loud, Mommy? [Mom is silent.] Mommy, is that too loud? [Silence, so boy screams] Was that loud enough for you, Mommy?!

Target
Laguna Niguel, California

Should Have Gotten It with Extra Butter

Girl #1: I dare you to make out with that piece of popcorn. [Friend makes out with popcorn.]
Girl #2: I make out with my mirror all the time.
Girl #1: Oh, honey, that's just sad.
Makeout girl: My lips feel dry...

Herndon Festival
Herndon, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

And Not Having Them

Teacher explaining colonization: It all started with rubbers!

Maine

Overheard by: vampire hunter

Ow! What the Hell?

Conductor: Plenty of seats in the rear, folks!
Old guy, making way through crowd: I'll take one in the rear!

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: liz the whiz

Just Mediterranean Guys? Really?

Girl #1: You know, I think I really like this guy.
Girl #2: What's his name again?
Girl #1: Andreas. He's from Greece. He's really cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, but be careful with those Mediterranean guys. They seem all well and good, but sooner or later they all try to fuck you in the ass.

Harrison Street and 19th Avenue
Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: it's funny 'cause it's true

Not That Those Have Ever Been Mutually Exclusive

Woman: Do you like your daycare?
Little girl: It's okay. They're Christian, but they're really mean.

Austin, Texas

Allow Me to Draw a Penis on Your Forehead

Professor: What is the Magic Marker-ness of the Magic Marker?

Monmouth University
New Jersey

Can We Start Over?

Girl running for bus: Thank you!
Bus driver: Wait at the right stop.
Girl: Lose some weight.
Bus driver: Get off my bus.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: talks before she thinks

But Only If Thumper Was Already Taken

Teen boy #1: So, out of all the Disney princesses, which one would you get nasty with?
Teen boy #2: What? That's gross shit, man. They're cartoons! You're disgusting.
Teen boy #1, after pause: So, the Little Mermaid?
Teen boy #2: Word.

Fall River, Massachusetts

Why Britney Spears Has Become Amorphous

Worker #1, to guy checking watch repeatedly: God! You're such a spaz!
Worker #2: I'm a spaz? You're the one who has to sort your rubber bands by color, size, and shape.
Worker #1: Shape? Rubber bands only come in one shape!
Worker #2: Well, you sort the broken and unbroken ones.
Worker #1: ... Broken isn't a shape.

Monsanto break room
Waterman, Illinois

Gorilla: Can't Be Worse Than Taco Bell

Woman watching gorilla eat poo: I'm sorry, but there is no way I evolved from that.

Oklahoma City Zoo
Oklahoma

Overheard by: Mikie

Thanks a Lot, Abstinence Only Education

Guy on phone: So, wait -- if he put it in yo' butt that mean the baby gon' come out yo' ass?

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: flash

A Pink Bow Might Be Pretty

Preppy teen girl #1: Well, do you like her?
Preppy teen girl #2: I mean, yeah, I like her... But she has got to do something about her mustache!

Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: Sam

Lindsay Lohan Stars in Yellow Fever

Chick: Oh my god, Marissa! I just met a guy who's looking for a girl to pee on him.
Marissa: I would totally do that!
Chick: I know! That's why I told you.
Marissa: Let's go find him!

Nightlight Lounge
Bellingham, Washington

What If We Have Tea and Just Look Out the Window?

Girl on phone: Come on! Join me for a cup of coffee. We'll finish studying and then we'll jump out of the window!

University of Trieste
Italy

Overheard by: MissKinney

A Yummy Potpourri Potato

Girl #1: I ate this thing... It was, like, a candle. Or a potato.
Girl #2: No, no, it was a potato.

West Junior High School
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

What Did You Expect Your Dentist to Do?

Hoochie: I strategically wore a skirt and he didn't even try anything!

West Campus
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Molly

Also Known As "Wind"

Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn't!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar -- I have toupée-dar!

5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Eric

This Line Is Three Hours Long. Got to Pass the time Somehow

High school girl #1, screaming: Oh my god!
High school girl #2: What happened?!
High school girl #1, pointing at girl #3: She just shoved her finger up my crotch!

Space Mountain line, Disneyland
California

Overheard by: bobbie the tortfeasor

The Rabbi Is Huge

Chick: Wow, you're radiating!
Sunburned girl: Yeah, that's the sunburn. Oh, and the fact that I get really horny during exams, and all I can think about is boning... C'mon, you know you all do it.
Chick: Yeah, I go to synagogue for that.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

You Guys Give Me the Willies

Teen girl: God, sisters can be annoying.
Single child: I don't have any. Hey, Abby*, do you have siblings?
Abby: Yeah... A younger brother who's always calling for advice.
Breeder: Andrew, right?
Abby: That's him. He's always calling me. 'Abby, I want to upgrade from dating stupid, ugly girls to pretty, ugly girls -- how do I do it? Abby, what color looks better on me, cream or salmon?'
Only male: Right, the not-exactly-gay brother.
Abby, ignoring him: 'Abby, I was watching porn and my penis twitched sideways -- what do I do?'
Purple-haired girl: What?
Teen girl: I hate to admit it, but if my penis was twitching sideways, I'd call you for advice.
Breeder: So, did you know?
Abby: Guys, I was 13! Of course I didn't know!
Only male: But you know now?
Abby, as entire group stares: ... Three possibilities.
Only male: I'll call you, then, if my penis twitches sideways.

Steak 'n Shake
Arkansas

I Wouldn't Order That Here, Honey

Six-year-old girl: Ask me what my favorite thing in the world is!
Mom: Okay, what's your favorite thing in the world?
Six-year-old girl: Escargot!

Sherwood Diner
Westport, Connecticut

I'll Nurse My Hurt Feelings Over by the Menopause Section

Little boy: Mommy, whats a M.I.L.F.?
Mom: Well, honey, it's a... Wait, someone called me a M.I.L.F.?
Little boy: No, Bobby's mom.
Mom: Well, then, it's not important. Go play.

Barnes & Noble
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: i'd like to see bobby's mom next PTA meeting

It's Good to Have Plans

Drunk girl: I want to find a really kinky man tonight and shit on his chest.

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

No, but at the Rate They Inbreed, It Will Be

Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, look -- Catholic school kids!
Teen girl #2: Erica! Don't say that!
Teen girl #1: What? ... Is that racist?

Franklin Institute
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not catholic

We're Late for Our Circle Jerk

Guy on cell: Hey... Rainy... Ummm, well, yeah I've kind of played with it, but not to fruition. Hold on, I'm on the L in Chicago. Hey, guys, Jeff* wants to know if you've ever masturbated while driving on a long car trip.
Friend #1: No.
Friend #2: No.
Guy on cell: Nick* and Joe* say no. Hey, um, I gotta go...

Chicago L
Illinois

Overheard by: J to the P

Sex, Death...

Punk chick #1: Well, it's just... I'm confused...
Punk chick #2: It's okay, it's summer! There are a lot of confusing things in the air, like love... and pollen.

Maryland

A Hung Jury

Guy: Well, I'm not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!

Derby, Connecticut

Overheard by: Jess

I Feel So Guilty about Being Aroused

Guy, about Betty Boop: She's like a pin-up with Down Syndrome.

Equipe High School
São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: laughing my ass off

And a Fascist Participates in "Facials"?

Wadsworth character in the movie Clue: You see, my secret is that my wife was a socialist.
Girl watching the film: So, does that mean that she was a prostitute or something?

French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

You Make a Valid Point

Chick: He's a cool guy! I mean, maybe he's not a cynic like us...
Dude: Well, then he can just go die.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

And We're Fresh Out of Gym-Sock Substitute

Employee to another: You gotta stay focused! He's gonna run out of meat! You're letting him run out of meat!

McDonald's
Asheville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Mrs. BigMac

That Seems So Intimate

Drunk chick: I wouldn't have known I hooked up with anyone if I hadn't found his swipe card in my bra on the floor... Should I send him an e-mail?

Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia

Any Test, Really

Emo teen girl with water bottle: I mean, it's not like I'm drinking all this just to pass a drug test. It would be nice to pass one, though...

Jenks, Oklahoma

You're a One Trick Pony, Lady

Mom: Nathan, stop it! Stop it! Get ov-- [Nicely] Come over here, Nathan...
Misbehaving boy: Nooo! I know you're going to spank me!

Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad she's not my mom

The Road to Hell Is Too Much Fucking Work

Burner chick: Yeah, I was going to run around the desert naked on drugs last night, but I just never got around to it.

Burning Man
Black Rock City, Nevada

Overheard by: McNasty

Ah, the Little-Known "Elbows Off the Table" Amendment

Little boy: I don't like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren't my rules, honey, they're America's rules.

Austin, Texas

And He Didn't Have Such a Small Dick

Drunk girl #1: I'd totally fuck your dad.
Drunk girl #2: Gross! Don't say that about my dad.
Drunk girl #1: What? He's hot, he's fuckable...
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, I guess he is hot... I'd fuck him if he wasn't my dad.

Wellington
New Zealand

I Never Knew You Were a Lady

Girl #1: I have to fart. [Girl #2 ignores her.] I have to fart. [Still ignored.] Hellooo!
Girl #2, annoyed: What?
Girl #1: I said I have to fart!
Girl #2, after long pause: Do you want a cookie?

Columbus, Mississippi

Overheard by: Lauren

Or Drag Queens

Mom to two kids: Now, you can both get one paperback each, but remember, they have to be normal paperbacks. Nothing about dragons.

New Haven, Connecticut

Well,Maybe That Teller Who's Always Rolling Up the Bills?

Woman on cell: I don't know. I couldn't understand the message... I'll let you listen to it later... Well, would anybody at the bank say 'peace out'?

London
England

Take That, Britannica!

Chick: About a year ago I discovered that everything I learned at Harvard was actually through reading Wikipedia just before the exam.

Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Can You Imagine Letting Your Kid Eat There?

Teen girl #1: Are you drinking tonight?
Teen girl #2: I've been drunk all day. I was doing shots in class.
Teen girl #3: I have four dollars! I told my mom I was going to McDonald's. She's so fucking stupid!

Prince Edward Island
Canadia

And Pluto Ripped His Face Off

Distraught mom on cell: I'll sum up my vacation in one sentence: Ian punched Goofy in the nuts!

Bus to the Magic Kingdom
California

Overheard by: disneymom

Yeah, It's Pretty Much Only Crunchy White Folks These Days

Professor: Are there any Buddhists in this class? Anyone in here a Buddhist? Huh? All these Asians and no Buddhists?!

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

It Didn't.

20-ish girl on cell: So, they said it's not ringworm -- it's some kind of skin virus that looks like ringworm. And they said I'm really lucky because so far it's only on my back and stomach, not, like, my whole body and face. The tests come back on Friday, but they said it's probably really contagious. I just hope it goes away before my trip to Miami!

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: sooooo glad I didn't sit next to her

We'll Get Ours When We Turn on Bill O'Reilly

Father to squirmy two-year-old looking out bus window: No, honey, that's a church. We can't go there -- they'll give you a lobotomy.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rebekah

Sure, Ernie, I'd Be Glad To

Crazy college student: Can you take the rubber ducky? I can't bring him into the cafeteria. There's no duck food in there.

Blanton Hall, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Rubber Ducks don't eat

A Squirrel?

Ghetto woman, indignantly: And then he told my mama he wanted me to get tested 'cause he didn't think the baby was his!
Ghetto man, outraged: Inconsiderate fuck! It was his, wasn't it?
Ghetto woman: Hell no! I don't know who I be sleeping with! [They laugh.] Bitch, please -- I fuck like a squirrel!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Tiki

I Sure Hope So!

Loud man in fatigues: Wow! Y'all look like Charlie's Angels. I didn't realize how beautiful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fatigues: Wow! You have beautiful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Ummm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whispering: What's a toe-jam? Is it something really gross and inappropriate?

Washington, DC

Now I'm Mad

Professor: Ben, what did you get for that one?
Student: First, I'm Matt. Second, I don't know.
Professor: Well, it's okay to be mad.
Student: No, I'm not mad, I'm Matt. M-A-T-T, Matt.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Kelly

That's the Whole Point of That Nomenclature, Isn't It?

Chick: Hey, congratulations! I heard you was gonna be a father.
Guy: Yeah, she's due in, like, three months.
Chick: Donna is gonna be so jealous. She wanted to be your baby-mama.
Guy: She still can be -- I been waitin' on that girl forever.

Green Line E train
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: vangundy

Not All of Them Involve Blood When Lost, Though

Tourist #1: No, there is more than one kind of virginity.
Tourist #2: What?
Tourist #1: You know, like anal-ginity, Argentina-ginity, Ameri-ginity. All kinds of '-ginities.'
Tourist #2: Wow, that's sick, man.

Buenos Aires
Argentina

Out of the Frying Pan, into the Fire

Bimbette #1: Remember when you thought Mexico was just a state that you couldn't go to?
Bimbette #2: Yeah. I didn't know it was actually a different continent.

Oceanside, California

One Step at a Time

30-year-old: I will be somebody's cum bucket, but I won't be anybody's cum dumpster!

Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com

Now Put Your Hand in My Pocket!

Eight-year-old: I got one!
Dad: Reel it in! Keep reeling!
Eight-year-old: Dad, take my hat off! [Dad takes hat off.] Dad, scratch my head!

Irvine Lake
Irvine, California

Overheard by: Sue

HIVasaurus

Student #1 seeing friend drinking Monster energy drink: Oh, I've never had a Monster. Can I have a taste?
Student #2: You don't want to taste his AIDS-infested Monster!
Student #1, after long pause: Never. Say that. Again. Ever.

Doughnut shop
Huntington Beach, California

And I'm Having Your Baby

Student: I've got some good news and some bad news.
Teacher: What's the bad news? That you didn't do your homework?
Student: No, that's the good news. The bad news is that I love you.

Arcadia, California

You'll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete

Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You're a pea-brain, Dad!

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings

The Angel of Midterms Spares Jared

Professor: I've decided to move the midterm to next week, because apparently we are missing a substantial amount of Jews.
Student to friend: Holy crap! Passover just saved my ass!

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: BECKEKE

I Already Do

Girlfriend pointing at guy in kilt: Look, he's wearing a skirt! What a freak!
Boyfriend, releasing her hand: That's a kilt. I'm Scottish. Fuck you!

Tacoma, Washington

Because We've Dipped Their Stingers in Smallpox

Library staff: Ladies and gentlemen, Mugar Library is closing in five minutes. However, the first and second floor will be open for all-night studying purposes. If you are on the third, fourth, fifth or sixth floors you must relocate or leave immediately. We are releasing the killer bees. I hope you've been vaccinated.

Boston University Library
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Burkey

Which Is to Say, Not at All

Dude: So, what's your major?
Chick: English.
Dude: Really? Wow, you're really fuckable for an English major.
Chick: Uh, thanks...

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: lola

Just Dip It in the Jar, Dude!

Queer: Wouldn't it be great if penises tasted like Nutella?
Fag hag: Unfortunately, oral sex doesn't give you an evolutionary advantage, so we'll probably never evolve that way.

Montreal
Canadia

Overheard by: premed

MyTwo Top Needs

Undergrad #1: A computer man! You gotta get your e-mail.
Undergrad #2: A computer?! If you're homeless, a computer is the least of your worries. There are more important things you would need, like food and crack.

Outside Enterprise Hall, George Mason University
Virginia

Overheard by: Grad Student

You Always Go There Clothed

Girl #1: My friend just got a new boyfriend. She met him in the library.
Girl #2: What? I'm always in the library! Why don't I have a boyfriend?

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: yager

Not Even If One of Them Is on Your Head

Teen on cell: It doesn't matter! Two pairs of underwear does not equal one pair of pants!

Michigan State University
Lansing, Michigan

You Mean a Trannyserver?

College girl: We should have asked for one of those male waitresses.

Katz's restaurant
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: queenofsarab

I'll Need a Female Volunteer from the Audience

Professor: Fondling is not automatically a battery. Fondling is a perfectly permissible activity. Have you considered that some people even like it?

Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com

Overheard by: db

Which One Would You Want to Be True?

Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I'm going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]

Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil

The Dust on His Floors

Chick: He loves to vacuum. No, wait, not vacuum. What's that thing you do to your lawn? Mow! He likes to mow.

Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com

Overheard by: mk

Had to Think about It, Though, Didn't You?

Bag lady: Change? Spare any change?
Guy walking towards a church: Sorry.
Bag lady: Wanna fuck?
Guy: Um, no, thanks.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: So who would be paying whom?

She Can Enlighten Me Anytime!

Asian Visual Studies professor: Why is the lotus flower significant in Buddhist art? The lotus comes from this muddy, icky swamp water, and then it pops up and blooms really big and it's just beautiful, and you can't believe something so beautiful could have come from this ugly place -- it's sort of like Liv Tyler, actually.

UCSC
Santa Cruz, California

APB: Shoot on Sight

Freshman ho #1: But... Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah... I'm, like, sooo good! I've been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: newm

Dude, Wash the Strawberries Out of Your Panties!

Teen girl #1: When you drink a lot of water your piss get really clear.
Teen girl #2: Nuh-uh! I drink water all the time and my piss is still pink.

Teaneck High School
Teaneck, New Jersey

Overheard by: southernbelle

So Anyway, She's Talking to Crackhead John and Smelly Pete

Girl #1: So, I walk into my Econ class, and Katie's there.
Girl #2: Who?
Girl #1: Awkward Katie.
Girl #2: Crazy Katie?
Girl #1: Naked Katie.
Girl #2: Ohhh! There are way too many Katies. You could have just said 'Naked Katie' and I would have known what you were talking about.

Delaware, Ohio

Overheard by: None-of-the-above Katie

Oh, Hell, Let's Just Blow Each Other and Be Done with It

Man #1: She's lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn't help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn't fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor -- fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone's dick should be allowed to.

9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California

How Do You Think Rudolph's Nose Got So Red?

Drunk blonde: Do you think deer get bored? I mean, all they do is go into the wilderness and play. It's not like they can go home and say, 'Hey, Mom deer. Hey, Dad deer! What's for dinner?' I would hate to be an animal.
Driver: We are animals! And humans get bored.
Drunk blonde: Yeah, but when we get bored, we can drink and play beer pong.
Driver: How do you know deers don't play beer pong?

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: BTAN

Real Jesus: Hey, I'm Cool

Teen girl #1: If he was Jewish, he'd be so less Christian, and then he'd be hot.
Teen girl #2: Exactly! I mean, I'd bang him if he just said 'damn' every now and then.
Teen girl #1: But nooo, he just has to channel Jesus for us every day.

High school party
Virginia

It Felt So Good I Pulled It a Few Thousand Times!

Guy #1: You don't play rep basketball!
Guy #2: Yes, I do!
Guy #1: Okay, then why didn't I see you play?
Guy #2: I can't -- I pulled my Achilles tentacle!

Phys Ed class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Same Thing

Preppy guy on cell: So, you're pissed. I guess 'cause I lied. Or, yeah, I understand -- 'cause I had sex with someone else last night. What was I supposed to do, wake up and say, 'Oh, hey, I have a girlfriend' to her? ... Look, babe, I love you, but I'm 19 and I'm human.
Drunk guy from dorm window: And an asshole!

Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Drew

Moral: Spoon Bridges Break and Everyone Dies Painfully

Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It's a bridge. It's a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, 'Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.'

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by:

Gautama: Naw, I Hate Those Hairy Bastards. I'd Pop a Cap in His Ass

DMT vet: When you see the Yeti in the forest, you have to take the Buddhist approach and ask him, 'Why are you here? And what do you have to teach me?'

Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

But the Make-Up Sex Is Phenomenal

Hobo to cardboard box that fell out of his cart: I hate you with a passion! A very strong passion! And a very strong hate...

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Lindsay

Nothing Wrong with Looking, Is There?

Drunk golfer #1: Hey, he's the guy who said he checks out his cousin's ass!
Drunk golfer #2: I do not! ... She's totally hot! Seriously, she's a fitness model!

Shout-out: weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com

Overheard by:

I Remember When Wellesley Was a Good School

Girl in lunch line: Why are there fucking bamboo shoots in this stir fry? What do they think I am, a koala?!

Wellesley College
Wellesley, Massachusetts

Don't Harsh My Mellow

Woman to herself: I love the smell of the subway!
Passerby: You know it's primarily piss, right?

Consolação subway
São Paulo
Brazil

Her Hopes Dashed, Cheryl Moved On

Girl #1: Oh my god, is that the Nazi symbol on your necklace?!
Girl #2: ... It's a Star of David!

Bus Shelter C
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: pedestrian

Or an Abortion

Pregnant black lady on cell buying 24-pack of beer at self-checkout: Girl, next time I have me a baby daddy I'ma get me a credit report!

Southfield, Michigan

This Bullet, for Instance

Dude: So, what is this? Like, an energy drink, too?
Barista: Nah, it's just a soda.
Dude: Hmmm, white grape juice, filtered carbonated water... It does have like 22 grams of sugar, but I guess it's like natural sugar, so it's not so bad, right?
Barista: I don't know, it might kill ya!
Dude: Yeah, but I think that things that kill you make you smarter.

Jersey City, New Jersey

De Politics, De Religion, and De Money

Dude: My grandmother told me never to discuss the three D's in polite company.
Chick: Oh, yeah? What are they?
Dude: I don't remember...

Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com

Overheard by: tim

I'd Hoped You'd Be Unhappily Married by Now

Drunk mother to drunk daughter: Your sister is appearing on stage nude and you're living with a lesbian! I raised you girls too liberal!

Chez Charlie's Cocktails
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: MustangSally

In Other Words, As Straight As Most Girls

Chick: I'm as straight as a girl who doesn't like boys!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

Are You Using a Stick?

Father, seeing red squirrel: Shhh...
Son: Aaarrrggghhh!
Father, to passersby: Sorry. We're beating him twice a day, but it doesn't seem to help.

Formby Woods
Liverpool
United Kingdom

With My Penis

Oxford boy #1: I'm going to stab you in the heart.
Oxford boy #2: Last night you stayed at my house and now you want to stab me in the heart?!

London-bound train
United Kingdom

Overheard by: snickering american sisters

With a Descriptive Epithet Like That, I'm Not Surprised

Ghetto hoochie stoner: I can't remember nothin' 'bout nothin'. My long-term memory is 'bout to get shot.

Outside of City Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: lora

Wait, No, a Dolphin

Guy to girlfriend: It sounds like we hit a whale.

AirTran plane from New Orleans to New York

Overheard by: Jofo

Fuck You.

Hippie wannabe: Mmm, this tastes so much better than a non-solar-powered smoothie.

Dickinson College Earthfest
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Future Unemployed

On an Unrelated Note, Never Put Together a Lecture During Happy Hour

Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going 'Rawr, rawr, rawr!' and taking a chunk out of your arm -- they were just like, 'Huh? What?'

Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: she actually growled

Ad: Feels So Wrong, but Tastes So Right

Chick: I'll have a kiddie sized Death by Chocolate.
Slacker worker to cone scooper: One kiddie death.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: steve

Why So Many Men Really Go into Obstetrics

Girl #1: So, why did you dump him?
Girl #2: Because he was, like, really creepy!
Girl #1: What? Oh my god! How? He was perfect...!
Girl #2: Yeah, but he said he fantasized about eating babies.
Girl #1: So what?
Girl #2: ... Oh my god! I am so glad you convinced me to stay with him! You're right. He's totally perfect.
Girl #1: So, you don't care about the fact he wants to eat babies?
Girl #2: Well, that way at least if I got pregnant I, like, wouldn't have to go to the doctor's office to get rid of it!
Girl #1: Yeah, I love saving time.

Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com

Wait, I Know Exacly What I'm Going to Do with Myself

Old lady to friend: ... And the husband's given up the Viagra for Lent, so I don't know what I'm going to do with myself!

Dublin
Ireland

Overheard by: future old lady

With Lettuce?

New male employee: You shouldn't open the lettuce like that.
Old female employee: Don't tell me how to do my fucking job!
Manager, yelling from across store: Watch out! She'll cut you!

Jimmy John's
Charleston, Illinois

Overheard by: I just want my sandwich

I Think Ovary Eaters Make More of a "Hiss"

Meathead to swooning girls: I'm just gonna eat your ovaries! Raaawwwrrr!

Commonwealth Avenue bus, Boston College
Newton, Massachusetts

It's Win-Win!

Bus driver: I can't let you off here. You'll get killed.
Thug: It's cool, man. I got insurance!

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

But No.

Girl #1: Can I ask you something?
Girl #2: Is it about your new dog?
Girl #1: No.
Girl #2: Is it about John?
Girl #1: No...
Girl #2: Is it about work?
Girl #1: Have you ever heard of a rhetorical question?!
Girl #2: Oh, wow, I would not have guessed you were going to ask me that...

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Katy

Why They Invented the Ball Gag

Chick #1: So, I was talkin' to Gary yesterday.
Chick #2: He is so far up his own ass, I'm surprised he can say anything.
Chick #1: Yeah, I know. He was talking about some audio clip he's doing, and how great it is, and my god -- he annoys the shit out of me!
Chick #2: Yeah... Fantastic fuck, though.
Chick #1: Agreed -- he is huge... I kind of heart Gary.

Central Station
Sydney
Australia

Don't You Question the Way I Put Food on Our Table

Mother: Derek, come back here!
Five-year-old: No! You can't tell me what to do! I'm going to go gamble some more! [Runs off.]

CAT ferry from Nova Scotia to Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

But It's As Good As a Chastity Belt!

Middle-aged black woman to friend: You gotsta have TP. You gotsta wipe yo' ass.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

Should We Invite Her?

Dude #1: Dude, did you see Rachel in class today? Smokin'!
Dude #2: Yeah... I'm totally going to wack off to her spring break pics on Facebook tonight.
Dude #1: She put up spring break pics? Me too, then...

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: OdinUSMC

That's Why We Left Her in LA

Toddler in cart: Look, Daddy -- wine!
Dad: Yes, that's the wine section.
Toddler in cart: Mommy always buys lots of wine!
Dad: Yes. Yes, she does...

Wine department, Quality Food Center
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: anniebanannie

But on the Plus Side... Wait.

Hot lady to another: Well, that's one drawback to being a whore.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: loyal seattle reader

I'll Make You Forget That Elven Slut!

Mid-40s thrift store lady, to VHS of Hidalgo: Mmm, mmm -- Viggo Mortensen. Any time, any place, anywhere, any hole. You know it.

Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com

Overheard by: little bald bastard

And Put His Crib in the Freezer

Possibly preggers teen: I'm going to name my baby 'Vodka.'
Skanky mom: Oh.

Liquor store
Delaware

Because If So, You'll Have to Add the Sexy Dance

Little girl, singing: Hey! I'm a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you're on top of it when you dream of doing me all night...
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!

Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Our Guess Would Be Extremely Narrow Hips

Girl #1: It was the size of a Double-A battery.
Girl #2: Best sex ever, right?
Girl #1, shamefully: I don't know what's wrong with me!

Miami, Florida

Birthday Surprise!

Mom to little boy picking up Raid: No poisonous chemicals for you, sweetie. Not today, at least...

Target
New Jersey

And I Said, "I Can Do This without a Woman!"

Sleazy white employee: Yeah, man, black girls know how to work it.
Black employee: Uh-huh.
Sleazy white employee, whispering: Yo, man, I was doin' one one time, though, and I was about to go on her chest and she was like, 'Nuh-uh,' and pointed it at me and it went on my chest!

EB Games
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: works downstairs

How to Never Do It Again. Ever.

Chick #1: So, what was it like? Would you do it again?
Chick #2: Kind of like a hot dog... I was so hungry...
Chick #1: Ewww!
Chick #1: I just wanted to bite down, y'know?

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

Spelled "Shove On"

Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]
Baby daddy holding infant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Baby daddy: Yeah, sure... Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What's his name?
Baby daddy: Uhhh... Shit, I know this... Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don't even know your son's name?!
Baby daddy: Shoot, I did earlier. Shavon! Yeah... That's it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: hot child in the city

Well, It Felt That Way in My Ass

Fourth grade student: All the guys in France have big schlongs.

Virginia

Man, What Isn't?

Drunk hobo: Got any spare change so I can buy me some pussy? [Sees man holding sign, "Jesus loves you."] ... It's in the Bible!

Powell and Market Streets
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Peggy

Holy Shit, I Never Thought of It That Way

Gym rat #1: Maybe I can just get a pocket pussy. I think they're expensive, though. Unless I can find a used one online.
Gym rat #2: Awww, dude! Who the fuck would sell one of those used?! And why would you buy it?!
Gym rat #1: Why not?
Gym rat #2: Why would you buy something that some other dude came in?!
Gym rat #1: You fuck girls that other guys have cum in before, haven't you? At least a pocket pussy can be put in the dishwasher. Sure beats some chick refusing to shower!

Planet Fitness
Dorchester, Massachusetts

Ever Wondered How It's Possible to Have Fun in Tennessee?

Midwestern tourist: Excuse me, are there any malls around here?
Local teen, in exaggerated accent: We don't have malls in these here parts. Malls tempt the young ones to siiin. [Tourist leaves, scared. Teen then grumbles without accent] Fucking tourist.

Broadway and 4th Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: pedestrian

The "Secret Shopper" Morality Tests Are Getting Aggravating

Dude exiting cab: Oh! Hi!
Girl on sidewalk, trying to hail cab: Hi.
Dude exiting cab: You're hot! Wanna make out?
Girl on sidewalk: Not right now.
Dude exiting cab: Slut!

Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Hobo: Directions? That'll Be One Blow Job

Preppy girl: Can we have our cell phones on for the field trip?
Teacher: No.
Preppy girl: But what if we get separated from the group? How will we find our way back?
Female peer: Ask a friendly hobo.

Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Works for The White House Budget Office

Girlfriend: Oooh! Baby, we should get a dozen donuts!
Boyfriend: Okay. Do you wanna pick six, and I'll pick six? [Girlfriend gives icy stare.] Fine, you pick all twelve. I don't care.
Girlfriend: Twelve? I said I want a dozen.
Boyfriend: Um, honey, twelve is a dozen.
Girlfriend: I know what a dozen is, and it's not fucking twelve! I'm not fucking stupid, you know!
Boyfriend: You're, like 25 years old! How can you not know what a dozen is?
Girlfriend: I know what a fucking dozen is! [Looks around] What the fuck are all of you laughing at?!

King Soopers Dairy
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: We were right to point and laugh

Tigers See Right through That Psychobabble

Boy to girl who's just presented her current event: Your shoe is untied.
Female classmate: Way to pay attention!
Boy: You know, I was just trying to be a friend and tell her so she doesn't trip and fall or something.
Female classmate: Freud would say otherwise.
Teacher: Freud would say otherwise.
Boy: Yeah, yeah.
Teacher: Do you even know who Freud is?
Boy: Yeah, yeah, the big white tigers -- I get it.

Memorial High School
Manchester, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Lily F.

What Do You Think Scrapple Is?

Slutty girl: Hey, you know cow titties?
Quiet girl: Uhhh...
Slutty girl: Can you eat them?
Quiet girl: What?
Slutty girl: You know -- cow titties!
Quiet girl: You mean udders?
Slutty girl: Yeah! Can you eat them?

French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

And, Even Then, Mostly Cock and Ecstasy

Drunk girl #1: God, I hate you. How do you stay so skinny?
Drunk girl #2: I only eat when I'm drunk.

United Kingdom

Overheard by: Nighttime Smoker

For Love, Apparently

Little girl: I need a knife.
Concerned mother: What? Why?
Little girl: So I can cut your fingers off!
Concerned mother: Ashley*! Now, that's not nice!
Little girl: But I'm hungry!

Old Navy
Plainville, Connecticut

Why Rumsfeld Really Left Office

Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.

Twentynine Palms, California

Barney Fife: You Know, Fuck You, Andy!

Sheriff: These are kind of like deputy pickles.

Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com

Overheard by: anonymous

Think Reproduction

Cashier: Whoa, those are interesting checks!
Old woman: Yeah, they usually get a reaction.
Cashier: Are those dancing skeletons?

Pat's IGA
Calumet, Michigan

And Was It Simultaneous?

Guy: I've heard rumors...
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it's not a rumor -- it's the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?

Millersville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: overheardinmillersville

What an Extroverted Engineer Looks Like

Engineer #1: What's the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: charlie

And Certainly before He Starts to Shit

Dad in stall: Remember, son -- let the donkey out of the barn before he starts to run.
Four-year-old son in next stall over: 'Kay.

Squaw Valley Ski Resort
Olympic Valley, California

I Don't Think You Understand: It Never Happened

Woman: Do you remember topless movie night?
Man: No. First I've heard of this.
Woman, shocked: It was at your apartment!

Denny's restaurant
East Greenbush, New York

Overheard by: conrad jones

You're Such a Card, Adolf!

Meathead: That's the type of woman I want to marry. I'll bend her over, then we can have hairy Aryan babies and eat hummus together. God, what I wouldn't do to her!
Pleased girl with him: You know, I'm really glad I decided to invite you instead of Joe!

Cedar Point
Sandusky, Ohio

Overheard by: Ckiska

In a World Where Bald Britney Attacks Parked Cars? Really?

Lady: Um, I want a side salad without the cheese, and--
Burger drone: --No.
Lady: No?
Burger drone: Not without cheese. It comes with cheese.
Lady: I can't have it without cheese?
Burger drone: There's no way that could possibly happen.

Burger King, Columbus Drive and Dale Mabry Highway
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Have it your way, if your way is our way, too.

And Fuck Him

Girl #1: So, I told my dad to carry my futon up the stairs. There was no way I was going to!
Girl #2: Didn't he just have major back surgery?
Girl #1: Yeah, but I didn't want to strain myself. I'm, like, tiny. Plus, I had to make my room look good.

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: I just lost my appetite

Flamingos: Let's Beat the Crap Out of Her

Child: Look!
Mom: They're just flamingos. They don't do anything.

Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Suezahn

Geez, I Hope He Means "Pissing Out His Ass"

Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn't happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad...

Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Ang

Unless She Shares Her Legal Pot

Dutch employee: Well, I don't like your American style and I don't like your American way, and I don't want to speak English anymore [walks off].
American chick, to colleagues: Keep that bitch away from me or she's dead.

Major bank
Amsterdam
Netherlands

And Do They Really Represent the Lollipop Guild?

10th grade girl: Are munchkins real?
Boy: ... You did not just ask that.
10th grade girl: No, really, are they?

London, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: they're chilling with oompa loompas

He Got Her So Dirty!

Ebullient coworker on phone: The last thing I saw of Jane* was a nude picture of her taking a bath. It's her dad's fault.

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: sxoidmal

And As Ghetto As Anyone Gets in Toronto

Man: ... With my wife.
Woman: Oh, you're married?
Man: Yeah, and I have a four-month-old baby girl.
Woman: What's her name?
Man: Widget.
Woman: Oh, that's cute.

Subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Nick B

If There's Two Things That Belong Apart, It's Drinking and Nailguns

Hipster girl to boyfriend: Tanya is either wasted or at the Home Depot -- there's no in-between.

Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Michael

This Site Thanks God for Crazies

Crazy: ... And we got to thank God! Thank him for the babies, for all our little children...! And we got to thank Him for creating sexual intercourse so we can make those babies! And we got to thank God for French fries!

UC Berkeley
California

Overheard by: Lauren agrees with this Man

He Was a Sore Loser after the Electric Guitar Contest

Crazy: Satan killed Jimi Hendrix!

Outside El Macombo
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

And Had Roosters Tied to Your Nipples

Girl: You were being cocky!
Upset ex-boyfriend: No, I wasn't!
Girl: You couldn't get any cockier if you had dicks coming out of your ears and eyeballs.

Elkhart, Indiana

Overheard by: ashley

Either That or a Hysterical Woman Tied to the Train Tracks

Old nag, as train breaks down: Why'd we stop? What's wrong?
Fellow commuter: We hit a buffalo.
Old nag: Really?!
Fellow commuter: Yes.

Worcester/Framingham Line to Boston, Massachusetts

You Still Get an "F"

Student, spreading arms wide: I hate you this much!
Teacher: Well, that's certainly less than earlier.

High school
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: The Know It All

What Happens to Unemployed Meteorologists

Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!

Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California

Stood in Front of One Urinal and Peed in Another

Disheveled hipster: His dick was so crooked that it had, like, a knuckle!

Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: Mrs The Experience

Well, If There's Time

Hoochie on pink cell: I always change my sheets in between boyfriends. It's like how guys change condoms in between girls.

13th Street
Gainesville, Florida

I'm Straight One Day at a Time

Bisexual girl: So, you wanna go out some time?
Chick: Um, I don't swing that way when I'm sober.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Give It Time

Teen girl #1: I heard this place is full of snakes and dead people.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, well, it's not a mall!

James River
Richmond, Virginia

There's a Lot of Smoke around Me, but No Fire

Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, 'Have you ever been convicted of a felony?' do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?

Wendy's
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: maybe he shouldn't use the plastic silverware...

Using the Men's Room Cam

Male bartender: So, let's all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!

Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com

Overheard by: the next table over

Not Unlike Your Innocence

Cute little girl staring at ceiling: Mommy, what is that butterfly doing there?
Bitchy mom: It's dead.

Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Glowien

So Let's Hear No More of Your Homoerotic Jiggery-Pokery

Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I've got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We're talking about bass fishing here, asshole.

Safeway
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

I Myself Am an Intel-American

Chick: What's your background?
Girl with laptop: ... Uh, I'm part Korean...
Chick: No, I meant on your computer.

Idyllwild, California

Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural

Guy: I don't understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It's hard to explain... It's like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Are You Sure You Need to See an Obstetrician?

Nurse: Mr. Oberman*?
Mr. Oberman: Yes?
Nurse: Are you still here?

Waiting room
Hampton, Virginia

Overheard by: stainedglassdoll

Why Americans Are Fat: Encapsulated

Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it's in my pocket.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Tswerve

Or Maybe He's on the Evening News -- Whatevs

Queer #1: I saw this guy here yesterday who looked super familiar, and I couldn't remember from where...
Queer #2: Oh, yeah?
Queer #1: Well, finally I just gave up and walked over there and said, 'Hey, you look familiar. Didn't we have sex before?'
Queer #2: Oh, yeah?
Queer #1: He didn't answer, but I'm totally right about it. I think he was with his girlfriend or something, too, so maybe that's why.

Abbey Coffeehouse
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: can i use that as a pickup line?

... Father Mike?

Guy on cell: First, you take your girlfriend out drinking. Then she's getting tattoos and piercings. Now she's hooking up with chicks. Are you seeing a pattern here?

Light Rail
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Is That Why You Named Me "Ralph"?

Little boy: Mommy, where do babies come from? Your mouth?

Shout-out: overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com

Overheard by: Nikki

Damn, Girl, You Got That Christian Stuff Down

Biotech on cell: Oh my god, she is so stupid! She goes home all the freaking time. Like, just last weekend she had to go home for her dying friend.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Mom, It's a Business Conference

Mom: So, how long are you going away with those people?
Daughter: The whole weekend. The whole fucking weekend with those morons!
Mom, reflecting: God... We'll need to buy you a lot of booze.

São Paulo
Brazil

I Wish You Were Fat, Too

Bimbette #1: I wish I was fat.
Bimbette #2: I totally know what you mean.

Dallas, Texas

You're the Worst Math Teacher Ever

Latina: You ride me too hard! You hurt my vagina bone muscle.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: Inside thought...

That's Not Your Face

Chick to friend: Seriously, smell my face!

University Village
Riverside, California

Gonna Be Sticking Your Dick in It?

Man to harried employee: I would like a latte, but please do not steam the milk any hotter than a hundred and thirty degrees...

Coffee stand, Washington National Airport
Washington, DC

I Never Know What the Hell I'm Upset About

Teenybopper #1: Oooh, look at the nail polish I just got!
Teenybopper #2: I never use Sally Hansen nail polish anymore, because they test on animals.
Teenybopper #1: Really? What does that even mean?
Teenybopper #2: I don't know. Something about pigs, I think...

Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: EL

That Was because He Told Pointless Stories

BU law student: I had a childhood friend named Tim*. He only had one arm... He once punched a shark on the nose... That's not why he had one arm, though.

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

He Kinda Dropped the Ball with That Asteroid Thing, Though

Man: Man, I'd like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah

Overheard by: Iain

And the Occasional Little Fork

Enthusiastic law student: I love tiny spoons!

Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com

Overheard by: laura and matt

Um... During?