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June 2007 Archives
He's Got the Extemporaneous Rhyming, but Can He Rope-a-Dope?
Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I'm the prettiest man on this here bus! I'm like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: blondie
Categories: Bragging | Creepsters | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Better Safe Than Sorry
Man on cell: Look, I could've taken her back to my apartment, put a condom on my tongue... but I didn't... What's wrong with putting a condom on my tongue?
Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York
Categories: New York | On the phone | Questions | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What a Judgmental Bitch
Woman #1: Yeah, well, she's really not friends with him anymore. You know, since he held that knife up to her throat?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Thorold, Ontario
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Do You Need Some More Napkins?
Girl to boyfriend: I'm sorry I stabbed you after you took me to the circus.
Denny's
Novi, Michigan
There Really Was No Other Future Envisaged for Moon Unit Zappa
Girl: Yeah, I need to talk to my advisor about changing my major. I want to be a space girl.
University of Texas, Austin's Forty Acres bus
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: an engineer
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Students | Texas | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And I'm Prepared to Fight a War on Two Fronts
Crazy man at bus stop in front of the Union: I'm a Nazi for sex, ya fuckin' sluts.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: gen
Categories: Bragging | Crazies | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-06-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Bob, How Many Times Did You Get Checked Tonight?
Dude #1: Why are we walking through the engineering quad?
Dude #2: C'mon man, it's like the hypotenuse... It makes sense!
Dude #3: Dude, we just got out of hockey and you guys are talking about fourth dimensions?
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: marcella
Categories: Education | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Couldn't I Do That without Getting Married?
Chick to friend: You should marry a fish! Then you can have sex and have mermaid babies!
High school
Marietta, Georgia
Overheard by: me
And Whose Wingtips Were Those Next to the Door?
Girlfriend: I'm telling you, you definitely came inside my pussy last night.
Boyfriend: But I was fucking your ass!
Girlfriend: No, sweetie, that was my pussy.
Boyfriend: Then how come my dick had shit all over it this morning?
Train station
Paterson, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Questions | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Sweet Valley High Book That Never Made It to Print
Redhead chick: Oh my god, the school year's almost over!
Greek girl: Yeah! I'm gonna miss all the good times we've had!
Redhead chick: Yeah, like the time I woke up and there was a bear in my bed growling at me, and you laughed.
Greek girl: Oh, yeah, and all the one night stands! [Girls sigh.]
Upstate New York high school
New York
Categories: Friends | Memory lane | New York | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Came Back As a Zombie
Kid #1: Michael Jackson? I think he died.
Kid #2: He died?
Kid #1: Yeah. He killed someone and then he died.
Kid #2: Oh, yeah, I remember.
Golden Corral
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: About celebrities | Kids | Oklahoma | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Had to Defer a Year
Guy: The only reason I remember the day I got accepted to Cornell is because it's the only time I ever walked in on my parents having sex.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Memory lane | Overheard at Cornell | Students | Posted 2007-06-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Can't Talk. Biting Shoulder.
Spastic girl: Why does everyone keep biting my left shoulder?!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Deb
Categories: Chicks | Questions | Washington | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Your Flaps Are Up and Everything
Whiny girl: My flight was canceled!
Friend: Oh, no! ... Your hair looks great!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Paris
Categories: Compliments | Friends | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Black Sabbath Concert
Teen twink: It was so hard to follow, and then he ate the ferret...
St. Michaels High School
Maryland
Overheard by: MarionC
Guess Who Puts the "Ass" in "I'm Dumping Your Ass"?
Girlfriend: You put the 'whore' in 'horrible.'
Boyfriend: Uh, well, you put the 'ho' in... 'I'ma slap you, ho.'
Singapore
Overheard by: Greg
It's a Fine Line
Student: She was more of a leisure crackhead than a street crackhead.
York University
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: there's a difference?
... If You're Unable to Catch Flies with Honey
Encouraging seven-year-old girl to another: You can always use weapons.
Elementary school playground
Mount Vernon, New York
Categories: Advice | New York | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
If Moon Is Full for More Than Four Hours, Consult a Physician
Ninth grade English teacher: I mean, it isn't just like, 'Wee, the man in the moon is gettin' laid!'
Newton North High School
Newton, Massachusetts
Categories: Education | Massachusetts | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Foolproof!
Middle-aged guy on ski lift to lady: ... So I'm at work, and the new 18-something marketing intern comes up to me and basically directly propositions me for sex. Now, since I have that restraining order my wife got against me and I'm done dealing with that assault conviction, I didn't think it was going to be a bad idea. My wife won't come over and my probation officer calls the same time every day...
Crystal Mountain ski area
Washington
Overheard by: should have waited for the next chair
Categories: Creepsters | Gossip | Washington | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Happens to Everyone at Some Point
Woman on cell: So, wait, let me get this right: you're saying that he wrote a book about his boat and then mailed it to himself at the wrong address?
Marathon, Florida
Overheard by: Chey
Categories: Florida | Gossip | On the phone | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And That's When I Knew: Motherfucker Was Dead
Woman #1: Motherfucker knew I was wearin' a thong.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker knew my booty was shakin'.
Woman #2: Mmm-hmmm.
Woman #1: Motherfucker did nothin'.
The Loop
St. Louis, Missouri
Categories: Gossip | Ladies who lunch | Missouri | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Motorboating Purist
Preggers: My baby's gettin' the bottle. Ain't no baby suckin' on these titties -- that ain't what they're for...
Hamilton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Um, that IS what they're for
Categories: New Jersey | Preggers | Rack | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then You'll Be Left with Just the Grenades
Mom: If you don't stop hitting your sister and start behaving nicely, we're gonna go right back there and return those guns!
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: attention target shopper
Categories: Moms | Overheard in Minneapolis | Threats | Posted 2007-06-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Movies to Fuck To
Guy looking at picture of Daniel Craig modeling watches: Did you ever get to see Casino Royale? What did you think?
Chick: I don't really know. I was kinda too busy having sex during it.
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Friends | Gossip | Overheard in Melbourne's Journal | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Were Ellen Pompeo's Cook
Young topologist: It would be so cool to be a chef, because, like, what you cook would be inside people who eat your food.
Creative Arts High School
St. Paul, Minnesota
Categories: Food | Jobs & Careers | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
One of Life's Opportunists
Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there's another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!
Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California
Categories: California | Food | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yes, I Found Out What I'm Doing Now Is Illegal
Woman on phone, sobbing and screaming: We have two beautiful children, and you want to stick your dick in someone else?
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Categories: California | Infidelity | North America | Relationships | Sex | Tourist attractions | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung
Woman on cell: I totally didn't recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
Categories: Beauty | Biotechs | Maladies | North America | On the phone | Stores | Texas | USA | Posted 2007-06-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think That's a Generous Word for It
Child runs out into busy parking lot.
Mom: Careful! There are old people driving!
Overheard by: Eric Smith
Wait, What's a Fraction Again?
Teen #1: No. Seriously. What's five eighths as a fraction?
Teen #2: God. We should totally know this.
Before We Have a Chance to Pass on Our Genes?
Girl #1: We are so fly, we should kill ourselves.
Guy: Oh, yeah.
Girl #2 nods.
Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com
Overheard by: autumn
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Death & dying | North America | Overheard At The Mecca | USA | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, You're Such a Maudlin Drunk
Dad to howling toddler: Stop it! Suck it up! You don't hear anyone else crying, do you?
United flight descending into O'Hare
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Categories: Airports & flights | Dads | Illinois | Maladies | North America | Parenting | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Although It's a Part of My Life I Don't Like Talking About
Hipster on cell: I've been everywhere. [pause] Yes, I've been to Queens.
Hope Street, Williamsburg
Brooklyn, New York
Categories: Hipsters | New York | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Leave the Details to My Subordinates
Girl on cell: What do you want? I'm in a fucking dressing room... Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier... What? It's not like I was the one stabbing people!
1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: really?
Categories: North America | On the phone | Oregon | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pain Is Bad -- Let's Agree on That
Girl: No, no! Vicodin is bad! Vicodin is bad, Percoset is good!
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: California | Colleges & Universities | Drugs | North America | Overheard at Stanford | USA | Posted 2007-06-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Pearl Jam
Girl #1: Lumberjacks wear flannel.
Girl #2: And junkies.
The Way Some Girls Find Four-Leaf Clovers
Drunk chick: So his penis ended up in my mouth. It just happens.
Backroom Tavern
Knoxville, Tennessee
Categories: BJs | Bars & Clubs | Drinking & drunks | North America | Penis | Sex | Tennessee | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In My Father's Store, There Are Many Departments
Guy #1: Who's Ian Gillan?
Guy #2: You know, the guy in Deep Purple? He was also in Jesus Christ Superstore.
Long Beach
Categories: About celebrities | California | Guys | Idiots | Music | Names | Pop culture | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
No. And Stop Snorting That Flour
Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!
Safeway
Lakeport, California
Overheard by: Corinna
Categories: California | Drinking & drunks | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | Stores | USA | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But You Could Do That Now!
Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Kids | North America | Should have used a condom | USA | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Seem to Be Retaining Coors
Guy: Dude, that is your belly.
Shout-out: nimbleit.21publish.com
Categories: Body parts | Frat boy types | Jocks | North America | Overheard in Utah | Stomach | USA | Utah | Posted 2007-06-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Commit a Heinous Crime and Come Talk to Me
Loud grad student in restaurant: I don't know why anyone would want to be a relativist when they could be an expressivist!
Overheard by: Monkey
Categories: Philosophy | Restaurants | Students | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Whatever. You Had That Cushy Yellow Raft
Mexican boy: We have to get up at 4 in the morning to go to school every day.
Mexican grandma: Yeah, well, I had to swim the Rio Grande to get to this country. So what?
Third Street Promenade
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Amused third generation Mexican
Categories: California | Mexicans | North America | Old folks | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And You're Too Young for Croquet
Little girl: Mommy, I know where 'em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here -- here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.
Mansfield, Texas
Wish I Could Say the Same for You
Boyfriend: Hey, did you guys go see the camel?
Girlfriend: No, where is it?
Pal: Don't even bother. It's so ugly. It looks so out of place... It's probably thinking, 'What the hell am I doing in Ithaca?! I could probably be scoring hot camel chicks in Egypt or something.'
Boyfriend: That's what I think every day.
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Don't worry, babe, I'm sure he'll get laid by another loner camel in Ithaca.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: willard straight, also dj-mee
Categories: Animals | Couples | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
She's a Creature of Habit
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step...
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
Categories: Couples | Drinking & drunks | Louisiana | North America | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hobo Scientist Cracks the Container Principle
Hobo, gesturing to trash can: I was right! There's definitely a big hole in this thing!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Hobos | Homeless | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Hell, There Will Probably Be More!
Guy to girl selling breast cancer t-shirts: I'll do it later -- the kids with cancer will still have cancer.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Mike
Categories: Maladies | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will the Lights Be Off, and the Chairs Well Separated?
Teacher before movie: There is one part with a naked woman in it. Are you guys ok with that?
Guy: Is it an ugly woman?
Teacher: No.
Guy: Then we should be fine.
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Categories: California | North America | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Sex | Students | Teachers | USA | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Make-a-Wish Foundation's New Ad
Lady: Hi sweetheart, how old are you?
Little girl: I'm four, and I'm too young to die.
Connecticut
Categories: Connecticut | Death & dying | Kids | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
How Hemingway Really Died
Drunk redneck: You wanna shoot a shotgun naked? Come to my house!
The Pour House
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: innocent bystander
Categories: Bars & Clubs | North America | South Carolina | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm So Sneaking into the Men's Locker Room!
Girl on train: I usually do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!
Shout-out: overheardinsydney.blogspot.com
Categories: Australia | Beauty | Body parts | Overheard in Sydney | Public transportation | Train | Posted 2007-06-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or a Sunburn. With Blisters
Guy: I don't mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.
Wisconsin
You Never Forget Your First Loser
Girl: He was 26, I was 18. I liked him until I found out he was a loser.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: anonymous
Categories: Memory lane | New York | North America | Overheard at Cornell | Relationships | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Queen Amidala Headdress Is Really Heavy
Costumed dad to little girl: You need to listen. Understand? You will not take your clothes off!
Star Wars 30th Anniversary Celebration
Los Angeles, California
Categories: California | Dads | Family ties | Fashion | Movies | North America | Parenting | Parents | Pop culture | USA | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Kind of Surprised You Still Are
Girl on cell: Well, if you keep blacking out, you won't be a virgin anymore.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Brian
Categories: Drinking & drunks | New York | North America | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Sex | Students | USA | Virginity | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Remember That Time I Did Those Tequila Shots and Used "Ain't"?
Girl: Oh god, I must really be drunk -- I'm mixing my metaphors!
Bucknell University
Categories: Drinking & drunks | North America | Pennsylvania | Students | USA | Words | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Did You Buy the Catastrophic Event Warranty?
Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn't work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.
Shout-out: overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com
Categories: Cell phones | Gadgets | Moms | Parents | Technology | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Fluffers Ain't Cheap
Grocery bagger to another: Yeah, man -- just last month I spent over a hundred bucks on my balls!
Overheard by: Chey
Categories: Balls | Body parts | Stores | Posted 2007-06-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Tonight We'll Watch Gentleman's Agreement
Mother to three kids: It doesn't matter if they come from Jewland, they're still Americans.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Philip
Categories: Jews | Michigan | Moms | North America | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Grandparents Get to Say "Yes"
Grandmother to small child: Now, you can't tell your father about this, but we're going to build an arsenal with lots of weapons...
Target
Rochester, New York
Categories: New York | North America | Stores | USA | Violence | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Taking You to Counseling Unless You Tell Me They're for Robbing Banks
Mother to toddler son in stall: Honey, I really don't understand your obsession with tights.
Arclight bathroom
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: flashback to my boyfriend's childhood
Categories: California | Clothing | Fashion | Kids | Moms | North America | Parents | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Shiny, but with No Waxy Buildup
Chick on cell: I don't know -- sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with a desire to smell my boss's head.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Jason Carr
Categories: Indiana | North America | On the phone | USA | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Enron Happened
Business professor: What time is the final next week?
Students: Monday from 1 to 3pm.
Business professor: No! That can't be right -- the school would not give a 3-hour exam!
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
A Big Rock or a Little Rock?
Girl on cell: I love you. I do. I love you more than weed. Do you believe me? You know how much I love weed, right? Well, I love you more... If you had the choice between me and a rock, what would you choose? Me, I love you more than weed. I really do.
Overheard by: miss_jaffacake@lj
Categories: Drugs | On the phone | Relationships | Posted 2007-06-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When the Veil Lifts, Revealing the Male Mystery
Girl: So, I was here yesterday and there was this, like, gorgeous guy standing in front of me. And then guess what he did? He let one go! Seriously! It wasn't quiet, either -- more like someone ripping carpet off a floor. I wondered if he'd messed himself... Gnarls Barkley again? Don't they have any other mixed tapes?
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Burping & farting | Overheard at York | Students | Posted 2007-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Thinking Nondisclosure Is the Way to Go
Chick on cell: So there's, like, a 10 percent chance I might get eaten by a cougar... if I do tell my boyfriend I fucked his brother.
Virgin Festival
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: T-T-T- Taylor
But Was It Carrie-Canyon Classy?
Drunk girl #1: Hey, Ken! How huge was that vagina I drew?
Ken: Yeah, it was pretty big.
Drunk girl #2: It was classy, though.
Kransky's Bar
St. James, New York
Overheard by: Gette
He's Still Bitter about the Toilet Training
Three-year-old boy yelling at goats: Stop pooping! No more pooping! I said no more pooping!
Mom: Stop yelling at the livestock.
Petting zoo
Long Island, New York
Categories: Moms | New York | Poop | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Although I Have Enough Beaded Necklaces to Last Me the Rest of My Life
Angry girl to man: No! It was when you pulled down the top of my dress and exposed my breasts to everyone that it became a problem!
North Avenue
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Lisa
I Don't Care What That Judge Decided
Professor: Her motto was, 'Forget the pill, it's all God's will.' So nature had its way and this young lady got pregnant. And just so you know, I had nothing to do with it.
Philosophy lecture, Melbourne University
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: sleepy philosophy student
Huggy Bear: My Pimp Sense Is Tingling!
Liberated woman: I don't know what I'll do until I get married... I'm just so not into, like, doing taxes and stuff.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: disillusioned
Categories: Bimbettes | Gripes | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's All I've Ever Needed
Grad student: Do you still need your rocks warmed?
Vanderbilt University
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Whereas "Socrates" Means "Slip Me a $50 and You'll Get an A"
Third year student #1, about exam: What the hell was up with the reference to Aristotle?
Third year student #2: That's code for, 'I cordially invite you to bullshit.'
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Education | Overheard in Law School | Students | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Really Needed a Place to Hang My Hammock
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Categories: Frat boy types | Hawaii | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Pictures of You Are What Count
Dad to little boy: If it comes between your life and this camera, save the camera!
Animal Kingdom, Walt Disney World
Florida
You Might Want to Consider a Laxative
Queer on cell: I think I broke my nail inside your asshole.
Augusta
São Paulo
Brazil
You're Lucky I'm Coordinated Enough to Thrust
Annoyed guy: You want me to talk to you during sex?! Let's do it on the kitchen counter! That way I can make you an omelet, too, while we're at it!
Cypress Run apartments
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: likes it in the kitchen
Not the Worst Graduation Photo I've Ever Seen...
Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It's me with no shirt on... And I was rubbin' m'nipples.
Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey
Categories: Couples | New Jersey | Nipples | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucy's a Frog
Six-year-old: You know my friend, Lucy? Well, before she was a girl she was a boy.
Mom: What? That's not possible. You can't change from being a girl to being a boy.
Six-year-old: But Lucy did.
Mom: No, she didn't. Why are you saying this?
Six-year-old: She did! She was a boy and now she's a girl! She told me!
Mom: She's lying. It doesn't happen that way.
Six-year-old: But she did! You don't know anything! She was a boy and now she's a girl!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: just over the fence
Categories: Australia | Gender issues | Kids | Moms | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... I Tried Her with Mayo
Chick: Well, I was going to rub the peanut butter all over Maureen*, but that didn't happen, so...
Gateway High School
Colorado
Overheard by: Pilbur
Why Do Any of Us Go to Camp?
Camp counselor: Do you know if Bill has a Jack, offhand?
Camp Cory
Penn Yann, New York
Overheard by: i refuse to speculate
Categories: Counselors | New York | Questions | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Once You've Got That Down, We'll Move on to Exfoliants
Teen boy #1: Ouch.
Teen boy #2: Oweee! Did you break a nail?
Teen boy #1: Yes!
Teen boy #2: You should get manicures like I do so that won't happen so often.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Overheard by: I get them too
Categories: Advice | Guys | Overheard in Minneapolis | Posted 2007-06-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Steven Segal Is: Out for Vagina
Brunette: Why are you laughing?
Redhead: I have this thing I do in video stores where I replace one word of the movie title with 'vagina.'
Brunette: So?
Redhead: Dude, where's my vagina?
Video store
São Paulo
Brazil
What Girl Wouldn't Want a Liquid-Metal Lover?
Chick #1 watching Terminator II: The bad guy in this is so hot...
Chick #2: Totally. In, like, a blond, blue-eyed, Nazi S-and-M porn kind of way.
Chick #1: So hot...
Chick #2's boyfriend: What the fuck is wrong with you two?!
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Categories: Beauty | Chicks | Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Notice: Headline Delayed Due to Vomit on Keyboard
Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.
Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota
From the Pilot Episode of Ugly Friends
Co-ed: This is just like a Friends episode, except we're all ugly.
Poolside
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Jenn
Categories: Missouri | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Mi Gasa Es Su Gasa
Man #1: Are these seats taken?
Man #2: No, they are not, but I have to warn you -- we both had Chinese food for dinner, so we are going to have some major gas in a little bit.
Man #1: That's fine, we had Thai.
Man #2: Oh, then we're even. Have a seat.
Consolidated Theaters
Silver Spring, Maryland
Overheard by: feeling a little gassy myself
Categories: Burping & farting | Maryland | Strangers | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Man Hopes; the Woman Knows
Old man: Are you going somewhere exciting?
Girl with suitcase: Not really. But when I get there, I'm getting laid.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: aaron
Categories: Gossip | Old folks | Overheard in PDX | Tourists | Posted 2007-06-16 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Happened to Sean Connery in Goldfinger
30-ish blonde: Yeah, my three o'clock appointment canceled, so I lasered off my pubes.
Bar
Newcastle, Oklahoma
Just Smile, Nod, and Back Away
Dude #1: I hate coming in during the middle of girl conversations.
Dude #2: Oh, God -- I came in on the wrong end of a tampon conversation the other day...
Dude #1: Is there a good end of a tampon conversation?
Herndon High School
Herndon, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
When the Hudson Brothers Won the Nobel Gay Prize
World History teacher: The Nazis imprisoned more people than just the Jews -- handicapped people, homosexuals--
Bimbette, interrupting: --They had homos back then? I thought they didn't invent that until, like, the '70s.
Osbourn High School
Manassas, Virginia
Overheard by: This is the last time I take a class that isn't Honors
Gotcha!
Girl: I'm not a nerd.
Boy: Yeah, you are.
Girl: Well, if I'm a nerd, you're a nerd.
Boy: No, I'm not.
Girl: Yes, you are.
Boy: No. Being a nerd is not a transitive property!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not a nerd
Switch Hands!
Drunk girl: I don't need a man. I need a sex toy. Shit, I got carpal finger.
433 4th Street
Columbus, Indiana
The Police Escort Was Another Hint
Nurse: I didn't even bother checking the urgency, but I guess if there are stab marks it's urgent.
Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com
Overheard by: funvill
Categories: Nurses | Office politics | Overheard in Vancouver | Posted 2007-06-15 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Join a Less Ridiculous Subculture?
13-year-old goth boy: Hey! You look like a hippie!
Hippie: Yeah...
13-year-old goth boy, offering hand: My name's Jason*. I thought I should introduce myself since I said you looked like a hippie and all.
Hippie: Okay...
13-year-old goth boy: You know, you look like a Tim. I've got a friend named Tim who looks just like you, only his face is mousier.
13-year-old goth girl: Oh. My. God! That's it! No snowball for you!
13-year-old goth boy: Christ! I can't play with dead squirrels, I can't talk to the hippie...! What the hell can I do?!
Snowball stand
Stewartstown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Amused Girlfriend
Categories: Goths | Gripes | Hippies | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Loser Ends Up in the Trunk
Girl on PA: Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers. We need Dan Smith* to return to automotive for a confrontation on your vehicle.
Wal-Mart
Kentucky
And Well-Deserved
Gym bunny #1: ... So then he said I must not be paying attention to my practice if I had so much to say about his.
Gym bunny #2: Oooh, that's a yoga slap if I've ever heard one!
Donkey Coffee
Athens, Ohio
Overheard by: Lisa
Maybe You Should Think about Having That Removed
Passenger to Muslim agent lady: People must get freaked out when they see you.
Ticket counter, Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: OOC
Categories: New Jersey | Race | Tourists | Posted 2007-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shit, No, It's Jafar!
Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy -- it's Aladdin.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!
Categories: Glad the condom broke | Movies | Virginia | Posted 2007-06-14 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I See Previously-Unsuspected Connections between Ideas
Scholar: I fucking love going to finals wasted!
University of Colorado
Denver, Colorado
When Everything We Do for Them Fails
Nerd #1: Everything men do in their lives is for women.
Nerd #2: Except masturbation -- that's for us.
Gainesville, Florida
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Florida | Masturbation | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then Can I Be Your Greeter?
Bossy little girl: No, no, no! You can't play with us!
Normal little girl: What? Why?
Bossy little girl: Because we want to be unicorns and you want to be Wal-Mart!
Johnstown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: amy
Categories: Insults | Kids | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But It Turned Out to Be Just a Tube Sock
Chick #1: What took so long?
Chick #2: We were so close to getting the squirrel, you have no idea...
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Was That Nietzsche?
Man to another, letting him board bus first: I always say, 'Age before beauty.'
Bus driver: I always say, 'Somebody get on the damn bus.'
Bus, Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Categories: Bus drivers | Illinois | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Snow All Over His Mustache
Loud woman: Yeah, Santa was all fucked up on drugs.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Ohio | Santa Claus | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gays: Oh, Honey, Nobody Would Steal Any of That!
Sorority girl: Guys! Anybody! Help! I just woke up on a couch and I can't find my jacket, my purse, my shoes, my phone, my wallet, or my gays!
Sorority house
Texas
Categories: Gripes | Sorority types | Texas | Posted 2007-06-13 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Where She's Decreased Thumb-Sucking by 15 Percent
Employee: She was my supervisor at the one daycare... Then they fired her, so now she works for the government.
Target
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: absent
Categories: Employees | Jobs & Careers | Maryland | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
All Religions Have the Same Basic Premise
Beggar girl to lady: Miss, look at you. You're so beautiful! Give me money and God will bless you. Your boyfriend will marry you.
Man: We're already married.
Beggar girl: Then you will be blessed with many, many babies.
Man: But I don't want any babies.
Beggar girl: What?! Shame on you for not wanting babies! God will smite you for this! Unless you give me money...
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: Mirchi
Categories: Couples | Homeless | India | Panhandling | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Lucky Guess, Mister
Teacher: Jordan*! Can you tell us the answer to the problem on the board?
Student talking in back of class: Um... No, sir.
Teacher: You are interrupting the class! What were you talking about?
Student: Petroleum lightsabers.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Education | Overheard in Minneapolis | Students | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then Shit, As in... Shit
Chick: I got so much shit to do this week!
Dude: Shit as in projects or finals?
Chick: What? Oh, no -- shit as in drugs.
Washington State University
Pullman, Washington
Overheard by: Kevin
Categories: Drugs | Friends | Washington | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Dudes Are the Frogs?
Teacher: So, who do you think tells us what to do in this country?
Boy: Jesus.
Teacher: No. Remember, in the Constitution there is a separation of church and state.
Girl: I know -- the frogs. You know, those old-looking dudes, the frogs?
Boy: I liked Jesus better. At least he don't look like no frog.
Teacher, shaking her head: Oh, my husband is gonna love tonight.
Mountain's Edge Elementary School
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: I want to be a teacher
And Only a Rough Estimate on the Hos
Distressed girl: I don't know how many bitches I have!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: queer engineer
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-12 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like When the Girl Spends an Hour Building a Fuck Machine
Dude: It's like... you know when you watch geek porn and it's just uncomfortable?
Kitchener
Ontario
Canadia
Except Now I Need a Ride
Student on cell: So, I was going to call you back, but I didn't want to call you.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Insults | On the phone | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight -- I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don't you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Categories: Advice | Bimbettes | Delaware | Family ties | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Impossible Not To
Princess at front of bus: ... And I went through seven laptops in high school.
Passenger: Oh, yeah? I went through ten laptops in high school!
Princess, offended: It's rude to eavesdrop, you know!
5 bus
San Francisco, California
Categories: Gossip | San Francisco | Strangers | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Damn Hopheads
Serious man: You don't want to fuck with a kangaroo.
Cortland, New York
Overheard by: adrienne?!?
In the US You'd Be a Superfund Site
Chick: I mean, I looked down at my underwear and I was like, 'Toxic stuff really shouldn't be down there.'
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-06-11 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Her Orgasm Faking Is Sub Par
Chick: Is she a good actress?
Dude: Well, she gives good blowjobs.
Café Pequeno
São Paulo
Brazil
It's Her Best Feature
High school girl to friend: Uh, I'm sorry I didn't say much to her -- I was entranced by her fucking zit-covered bosom.
West Plains, Washington
Categories: Rack | Students | Washington | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
... Who's Due in June
Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, 'cause after that it's bad for the baby.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Overheard in Minneapolis | Preggers | Pregnancy | Smoking | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
When Anthropologists Don't Get Research Grants
Teen boy: Whenever I go to your house you make me run around naked with your mom standing right there.
Teen girl: Oh, she doesn't mind!
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Categories: Canadia | Couples | Family ties | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes, Please Say Yes
Animal technician: Oh, did she pipette her hoo-hah yesterday?
Research facility
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Jessica Bessica
Categories: Medical personnel | Questions | Tennessee | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Forget by Whom
72-year-old lady: The last time I was carded buying alcohol I was 35 and pregnant.
Kohl's
Dunedin, Florida
Categories: Florida | Memory lane | Old folks | Posted 2007-06-10 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But for God's Sake, No "Down Low / Too Slow!"
Girl #1 at sink: You know, Nicole is bringing a guy here tonight.
Girl #2, shocked: Shut up!
Girl #1: Yeah, his name is Aaron, and he likes high-fives.
Women's room, Philly Roller Derby
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Miss Carrie
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Pennsylvania | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Pass Me the Sports Page, Would Ya?
Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it -- you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam -- you're shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.
Shout-out: www.overheardinminneapolis.com
Categories: Hobos | Overheard in Minneapolis | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Then He Had to Leave to Feed the Holy Spirit
Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: cherrynwhite
Categories: Jesus | Overheard in Philly | Servers | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Can Smell Cop on You a Mile Away
Eight-year-old: I believe the fanny dance is in order here.
Amused passerby: Awww, what is the fanny dance?
Eight-year-old: Wouldn't you like to know.
Dallas, Texas
Categories: Dancing | Glad the condom broke | Texas | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Ass-Maintenance 101 Was All Full This Semester
Male student: My GPA doesn't mean shit if I can't wipe my own ass, you know?
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Categories: Overheard in Philly | Philosophy | Students | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Stop Laughing -- I'm Serious!
Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I'm gonna rape you!
Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Devon
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Chicks | North Carolina | Threats | Posted 2007-06-09 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
That's the Last Time Mommy Is Taking You to Work
Four-year-old boy, singing: I'm gonna piss in your mouth, I'm gonna piss on your head...
Mom: Sweetie, who are you talking to?
Four-year-old boy: You.
Mom: Oh, okay.
Publix grocery store
Florida
Overheard by: Amused yet appalled
Categories: Florida | Should have used a condom | Stores | Threats | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Try Wearing Stilettos All Day and See How Fun You Are
Suit to another: She's no fun with her shoes on.
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Categories: Gripes | Massachusetts | Suits | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Gluteal Scars? Yeah, We've Got That
Guy: ... So then this girl just starts biting the staples off of her butt!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Gossip | Guys | Overheard at Loyola | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Fantasized He Was Stuart Little
Chick: He was so short and cute -- it was like having sex with a pre-Parkinson's Michael J. Fox!
Caribou Coffee
Des Moines, Iowa
We'll Work on Your Ironic Appreciation of Popular Culture
Toddler: Do you want a piece of me? Do you want a piece of me?
Father: Are you talking to me?
Toddler: Do you want a piece of me?
Father: No, that's okay.
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Dads | Glad the condom broke | Illinois | Threats | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like a Rest Stop on the Jersey Turnpike
Excited girl exiting bathroom: That toilet smells like America!
The Angel Restaurant
London
England
Overheard by: Nics
Categories: Chicks | Cleanliness | England | Posted 2007-06-08 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And My Health Teacher Was Like, "It's Just a Plastic Model"
Girl: ... And I'm like, 'I don't want to look at my own vagina. Why would I want to look at hers?'
West Junior High School
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Categories: Missouri | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Students | Vagina | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unless You Like 'Em Cold and Unresisting
Loud chick: You don't kill someone you are trying to have sex with.
Movie theater
Australia
Overheard by: Jessica
Categories: Australia | Chicks | Philosophy | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, I'm Not a Starfish!
Drunk girl: I have an amazing vagina.
Bartender: Is it an innie or an outie?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: abby
Categories: Bartenders | Drunks | Questions | Vagina | Wisconsin | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Everybody Puts That on the Syllabus
Girl #1: Ugh, I just got raped by another final.
Girl #2: Seems all you talk about these days is getting sodomized by exams.
Girl #1: Why do you always assume it's anal?
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Backdoor | Education | Overheard at McGill | Students | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Just after the Army Haircut
Crazy hobo: You lookin' good, girl! You look like Elvis!
Davis Street
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Overheard by: the queen of rock 'n' roll
Categories: Compliments | Hobos | Michigan | Posted 2007-06-07 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Protect Myself with This Aluminum Foil Hat
Dude: I don't believe in AIDS. I think STDs are just negative energy.
Corda Bar
São Paulo
Brazil
Dude, You Gotta Be Pretty High before That Happens
Scholar: So, at what elevation do deer turn into elk?
Gateway High School
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
That's the Last Heterosexual Bender I'll Be Going on for a While
Girl: Shit! I've been out of commission for, like, one week and there's already three new gay words!
Casa dos Artistas Fashion Show
São Paulo
Brazil
I Would Simonize It All Day Long
Weight lifter to buddy: If I had a vagina, I would call it Simon!
Australian National University Gym
Canberra
Australia
After a Nasty Court Battle, She Got the Egg Back
Crazy English professor: Now, Herrick -- his poems are like eggs... I used to have an ostrich egg... I knew the ostrich, too... Not that it makes any difference.
Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: poetrywhat?
Categories: Alabama | Animals | Colleges & Universities | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Most Thorough Parole Officer I've Ever Had, for Sure
Girl: But, I mean, he was in my lower intestine. I just can't get past that.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: benji
Categories: Chicks | Gossip | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-06-06 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Put the Ralph in Your Cramden
Girl: Oh my god, I can't believe you! You vomited all over their bathroom!
Drunk chick: I'll vomit in your vagina!
Blacksburg, Virginia
By Something That Doesn't Have "Hitachi" Written on the Side
Chick: There comes an age when just kissing won't do it anymore. I'm 22 and I want to be fucked!
Augusta Street
São Paulo
Brazil
Overheard by: Laughing passerby
What History Says of Me Is Another Matter
Queer: At least I can say I did not die naked eating JELL-O.
House of Erika Palomino, Vila Madalena
São Paulo
Brazil
Now I Know What That Sensation Means
Waitress #1: At least you didn't pee your pants like you did yesterday.
Waitress #2: I know, right?
Steak-n-Shake
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: pee bee
Categories: Ohio | Pee | Restaurants | Servers | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Oh, Did I Say That Out Loud?
Eight-year-old boy to self while looking at China teapots: I just love the stuff in here. It's so breakable -- that's what's great about it. That, and it's shiny.
500 Shawnee Street
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Rachel
Categories: Kansas | Shopping | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Why I Didn't Get That Modeling Contract
Girl: I got into the international university in Bremen, but they didn't give me any scholarship money because I'm not Ethiopian and I eat dinner every night.
Washington, DC
Categories: Biotechs | Education | Gossip | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Expect All My Misapprehensions to Be Validated
Smart girl: Obviously 'irregardless' is the wrong word in the sentence.
Dumb girl: Why is that word wrong?
Smart girl: For starters, it's not even a real word.
Dumb girl: Sure it is -- I use it all the time.
Erie Community College
Orchard Park, New York
Overheard by: Smarty Pants
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | New York | Stupidity | Words | Posted 2007-06-05 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
People Say They Lack Focus
Student giving presentation: There's also astigmatism on people who are poor...
Wright State University
Dayton, Ohio
Overheard by: thinks he meant
Who Has Access to All The Sex Manuals Ever Printed
Middle-aged woman to 20-something: I never knew there was that much variety in shape, size, color and girth. I'm talking about butt plugs. Oh, I'm sorry. You look shocked. I forgot -- you're just a librarian.
Wedding reception, Caesar's Palace, 3570 Las Vegas Boulevard South
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sarah
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Nevada | Strangers | Toys | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Happens to Everyone Eventually
Woman #1: I fell down the stairs yesterday.
Woman #2: Oh my god! Me, too! What happened?
Woman #1: I don't know. I just fell.
Woman #2: I guess I'm a little better than you -- a possum was chasing me.
Target
Virginia
I Recommend Interacting with Me to Keep Yourselves Awake
Professor: I love talking about this stuff. I could go on forever. And I'm tenured, so if you have a problem with that you'll just have to deal.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Education | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Talkin' to Me? Well, I'm the Only One Here...
Crazy guy looking at reflection in store window: Man, what the fuck you lookin' at?
Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Categories: Crazies | Massachusetts | Questions | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Educational Legacy of Pusey
Student: I never talked about vaginas nearly this much until I came to Smith.
Cushing/Emerson dining hall, Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Massachusetts | Students | Vagina | Posted 2007-06-04 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Isn't That Kind of Gilding the Lily?
Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.
Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
Categories: Canadia | Hoochies | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Shoes | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Gets Out Blood?
Black lady #1: So I said, 'What are you gonna do, hit me?'
Black lady #2: Mmm-hm.
Black lady #1: Then he really started to trip...
Black lady #2: Mmm.
Black lady #1: That's when I looked him right in the eye and I said, 'One of us is gonna die tonight.'
Joliet Mall
Joliet, Illinois
Categories: Black people | Gossip | Illinois | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
God, That Felt Good. Well, See Ya!
Teen boy: Tell me something I don't know.
Mom: I'm not your real mother!
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Ashley
Categories: Gossip | Massachusetts | Moms | Teens | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Packed into an Intestine
Crackhead bag lady, her face two inches from stranger's bratwurst meal: Is that cake?!
Detroit, Michigan
Categories: Bag ladies | Food | Michigan | Questions | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But Hurrah for Random People Giving Me Ritalin!
Girl #1: Oh, god. It's freezing! Fuck life!
Girl #2: You mean, fuck the weather.
Girl #1: No, fuck life... And fuck random people telling me I have ADD!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dela
Categories: Chicks | Gripes | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Must... Resist... "Widener"... Joke...
Dignified middle-aged foreigner to three students: Excuse me, can you tell me -- where is the pussy?
Grad student #1, while other two laugh: Pusey Library? You want Level D, then make a right and go down the hall.
Dignified middle-aged foreigner: Thank you. How late is the pussy open?
Grad student #1, losing his composure: Um, yeah. You know, man, that really depends on you. If you're good, it's open all night.
Widener Library, Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: A.J.S.
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Foreigners | Massachusetts | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-06-03 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or at Least Pull Up Your Underwear
Airport PA: Will the man with his pants around his ankles please return to Security and retrieve your belt?
Chicago Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Categories: Airports & flights | Clothing | Employees | Illinois | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which They'll Provide in Both the Front and the Tail
Pilot: We'll be flying with our team of flight attendants today, and of course we'll be looking forward to the great service they provide... [Awkward laugh] The great service they provide to you, of course.
American Airlines flight
Overheard by: not that kind of service
Categories: Airports & flights | Jobs & Careers | Pilots | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Made His Millions Off Kant's Death
Philosophy professor: ... And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer's classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
Categories: Class | History | Pennsylvania | Pop culture | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, "Make All Deliveries in Rear"
Guy: You're such a slut.
Chick: That's what my tattoo says!
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Hoochies | Insults | Overheard Lines | Tattoos | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Seemed Pretty Serious at the Time
History student: Seriously? Hitler was in the Second World War?
Ovens Road
Perth
Western Australia
Overheard by: Have You Just Not Been Listening Or What?
Nobody Expects the Chinese Inquisition
Bimbette #1: I think I did okay on the test, but I didn't get any of the locations.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, they were hard to study for.
Bimbette #1: Yeah, like, I put them all in Asia, and I thought maybe something was wrong. I mean... Madrid sounds Chinese, doesn't it?
University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Education | Kentucky | Stupidity | Posted 2007-06-02 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Or Are You?
Teacher to Chinese boy who twisted his pen: How in the bloody hell did you do that?
Students: [Laugh and all try twisting.]
Chinese girl: I can't do it.
Teacher: But you're Asian.
Social Studies class, High school
Connecticut
Categories: Asians | Connecticut | Race | School [Elem., Middle, & High] | Teachers | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also, Sex. That Was Me, Too
Guy: Yeah, that whole pot-smoking thing? I totally started it!
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kate & matt
Categories: Bragging | Drugs | Idiots | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Don't Want to Have to Run You in for Theft, Too
Cop: It better be your own shit you are throwing this time, Martha.
Citadel Theatre
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
I Could Give a Damn How Mom Feels
Creepster #1: You know what's really hot?
Creepster #2: What?
Creepster #1: Sniffing a sexy chick's underwear.
Creepster #2: Yeah, man.
Creepster #1: So you do it, too? I do it after sex when she leaves the room.
Creepster #2: Yeah, me, too... But usually it's my mom's underwear, so my girlfriend doesn't get weirded out.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Creepsters | Family ties | Getting off | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-06-01 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think I'm Winning
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn't understand, so I something you didn't understand right back... God, I'm cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
I Mean, the Only Other Possibility Is That You're a Poseur Idiot
Dude: I thought you could use chopsticks.
Chick: Why?
Dude: Because you have tattoos.
Chick: And that means I can use chopsticks?
Dude: Well, one of them is Chinese...
Noodle Man, Ryrie Street
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Does the septum ring make her part animal?
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