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March 2007 Archives
You Said That about My Leg, and It's Still Broken
Dude #1: I have a really bad headache.
Dude #2: You know what cures that? Sodomy!
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Eavesdrop DC | Friends | Headaches | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It's Only a Hall-of-Famer If You Still Scored
Guy #1: Dude, I'm really embarrassed. Last night I peed in her roommate's closet.
Guy #2: Hall of fame! That's hall of fame material!
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Frat boy types | Gossip | Overheard at Loyola | Pee | Posted 2007-03-31 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Neocons Hate Being Called That
Frisbee girl #1 [of five in a circle]: Hey, we form the points of a pentagon! We could do some serious magic here!
Frisbee girl #2, to others: Please forgive her, she just joined a cult.
Idaho
Usually before Naming Them
Boyfriend: I can't believe you weren't there for me when I had to put my dog to sleep!
Girlfriend: I'm sorry, honey. Where I come from, we eat our pets.
Grocery store
Union Lake, Michigan
Your Backpack, for Instance, Holds a Gram of Weak Pot
International Relations professor: If I was to go to San Diego, or any city I've never been to, give me 24 hours and I could tell you what, where, by whom, and how much the drugs are sold for... [Long pause] And, depending on the drug, perhaps even the quality.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Drugs | Eavesdrop DC | Teachers | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'm Saving My Mouth for Marriage
Middle-aged woman to friend: I will text the shit out of your ass, but I will not leave you a voicemail!
The Premiere Grill
Valparaiso, Indiana
Categories: Indiana | Ladies who lunch | Restaurants | Texting | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He Really Knew How to Make Me Feel at Home
Student: He called me a bitch. Only my mom calls me a bitch.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Names | Overheard in Law School | Students | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Think Deep Down I Knew I Would Vomit on Him
Girl: This guy was really rude and annoying, so I decided to make out with him... I was really drunk and somehow that made sense.
Shout-out: overheardatlc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | Overheard at Loyola | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-30 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But My Foot Is My Foot, Okay?
Chick: I can't judge you for what you may or may not choose to stick up your vagina.
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Karla
Would You Like to Borrow My Slinky?
Girl #1: Yeah, and so I threw the Internet cord from the top of the fire escape down to the bottom instead of walking all the way down. It was pretty exciting.
Girl #2: Ummm, okay then...
Girl #1: Well, it was okay! It's like throwing a baby down the stairs -- you know you shouldn't, but you do it anyway!
Girl #2: Okay...
Illinois
Gerald Is Known for His Bizarre Summaries of M*A*S*H
Guy: It would be like The Hills Have Eyes, except with Koreans.
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: alyssa
Categories: Movies | Overheard in College Park | Students | Posted 2007-03-29 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Father! How Nice to See You Again
Guy on phone at leather bar: Yeah, I'm at a church social... doing the Lord's work. I'll be on my knees later.
San Francisco, California
Shout-out: overheardinsanfrancisco.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Kiko
Categories: Bars & Clubs | Liars | Lies | On the phone | Overheard in San Francisco | San Francisco | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Top 10 All Time Scorer on Grand Theft Auto
Guy at ID counter: I'm sorry. Don't shoot the messenger.
Old lady: I'd rather shoot the police...
Shout-out: overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Categories: Old folks | Overheard in College Park | Threats | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Like What a Tonsillectomy Does to Your Singing Voice
Hubby: Man, when I trim my ass hair my farts sound weird!
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Hair | Hubbies | Overheard in California's Journal | Posted 2007-03-28 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Will It Make a Difference If He's Guatemalan?
Chick: Just imagine -- you go home and your mother has a hot Ecuadorian boy stashed in the back bedroom.
University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Gossip | Oklahoma | Students | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Thanks, AA!
Old lady: Nah, he stopped drinking. Now he's just high on the ecstasy... and a little bit of crack.
57 bus
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: pretend I didn't really hear that
Categories: Drugs | Gossip | Old folks | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Who Remembers Who Started It? The Important Thing Is We're Going to Finish It
Five-year-old boy walking past deli: Awww... Why do they have to kill chickens?
Seven-year-old sister: Because the chicken is the natural enemy of man.
Maryland
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Categories: Animals | Other sites | Philosophy | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Why Do Other Guys Get All the Herpes?
Dude: It's weird... All of the girls I dated turned slutty after I dated them. It's totally unfair.
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Frat boy types | Gripes | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Unfortunately, There's Not Enough of Them to Go Around
Hipster girl: Communists love my boobs.
Kent, Ohio
Which, We're Guessing, Is Politics
Dude: I'm the kind of person who does what I do.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Bob
Categories: Idiots | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Yup, Bag Balm
Five-year-old girl in dressing room: Mommy, do you put lotion on your boobies?
Victoria's Secret
Oceanside, New York
Overheard by: Gette
Categories: New York | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-27 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Someone Needs to Hold Up the Score Cards
Grad student #1: Yeah, it is really hard. They have to wait and see how much, like, brain matter they share.
Grad student #2: What does the one twin do while the other twin has sex?
Grad student #1: I think he just lays there and is really uncomfortable.
Grad student #2: Awkward.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: llouie
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Sex | Students | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Be Considerate of the Rest of Us
Jock: No, dude, you totally have to use a condom with a plastic vagina.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hung
Categories: Advice | Condoms | Jocks | Overheard at Cornell | Vagina | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Oh, Crap, This One's a Tattoo!
Dude: Hey, man, do I have any more swastikas on my face? I tried to wash them all off...
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: zak
Categories: Bathing | Idiots | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Think of More Reasons Once I Start
Frat boy #1: I think I'm going to start doing cocaine instead of marijuana. I need to step it down a notch.
Frat boy #2: Uh, how is that stepping it down, exactly?
Frat boy #1: I dunno. I just think cocaine is more practical.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Overheard by: amy
Categories: Drugs | Frat boy types | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
P Diddy: Just Call It 'Sampling'
Client to design agency, regarding their website: For simplicity's sake, we ripped off a few things.
Shout-out: adverbatims.blogspot.com
Categories: AdVerbatims | Clients | Office politics | Posted 2007-03-26 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That's what I'm going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now... [He leaves the room.]
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: Maxwell
Categories: Class | Frat boy types | Masturbation | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is a Fancy Word That Means 'Requiring a Splint'
Sororitard: I mean, he has, like, clinical depression. That's like breaking your arm. It's, like, hereditary.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: dek
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Sorority types | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'd Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn't Intervened
Drunk frat boy: I don't care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: hearing aid
Categories: Drunks | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Rack | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Apparently I've Never Experienced 115 Degree Heat
Freshman girl: It's so much better when it's cold than it is when it's warm -- all you can do when it's 115 degrees out is sit around and air out your vagina flaps!
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: broyhaha
Categories: Overheard at Cornell | Students | Vagina | Weather | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Luckily She Had a Picture of Sammy Davis, Jr. in Her Wallet
Girl #1: It's such a shame. I mean, if only there was some semblance of religious tolerance...
Girl #2: I know. Muslims, Christians, Jews... It's all the same god, but different rules.
Girl #3: Wait, is a Muslim just a black Jew?
Girl #1: ... No. A black Jew is a Jewish person who is black. It's a different religion.
Girl #3: Oh. Okay. That's confusing.
Girl #2: No, no, it's really not.
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Categories: Chicks | Colleges & Universities | New York | Religion | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And Then I'll Have Fewer Exams to Grade
Accounting professor: You should drink champagne and go swimming -- it's lots of fun. Once you're tipsy and get three to four feet underwater you have no idea which way's up.
Shout-out: overheardatkmc.blogspot.com
Categories: Advice | Class | Overheard at KMC | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-25 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I May Have Buttered My Ass and Come As a Parker House Roll
Chick: Do I know you from somewhere?
Dude: Uh... maybe?
Chick: Didn't you come to my Halloween party dressed as the Pillsbury Doughboy?
Dude: No.
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Clothing | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Students | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Loved "Pee-wee's Big Adventure"
Young mother to five-year-old daughter: Morgan! Come here! Do you remember that film we watched about perverts? Now hold my hand!
Clapham Common Post Office
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: Moms | Overheard in London's Journal | Parenting | Post offices | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Note to Self: Buy Candy Corn
Sweet-toothed student: If you put an infinite amount of candy corn in front of me, I will eat until I die. Do you understand that?
Shout-out: overheardatstanford.blogspot.com
Categories: Candy | Overheard at Stanford | Students | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dude, I Remember When You Were Cool
Frat boy: Nah, I'm not going out tonight. I'd rather wake up tomorrow and have a problem set done instead of a fat girl.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
Categories: Education | Frat boy types | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Dr. Phil?
Student #1: Who's that bald guy?
Student #2: That stupid-ass bitch that I want to kill.
Student #1, nonchalant: Oh.
41 West Santa Clara Street
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Argonath
Categories: California | Students | Threats | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
And He's Not Getting Out 'Til He Learns the Combo
Male coworker: So, wassup?! You holding down the third trimester? You got that thang on lock?!
Preggers coworker: Hell yeah!
Oakland, California
Shout-out: community.livejournal.com
Categories: California | Coworkers | Overheard in California's Journal | Pregnancy | Posted 2007-03-24 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Also Known As a White Sale
Guy #1: 'Drinking the Kool-Aid' is such a misused phrase. It's even become corporate speak. Don't people realize that it's a reference to the death of a thousand people?
Guy #2: Yeah, next thing you know they'll be saying, 'We're going to offer a Holocaust of savings.'
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But They Hate for You to Mess with Them
Girl: Well, I mean, skunks do have nipples...
Shout-out: overheardina2.blogspot.com
Categories: Animals | Chicks | Nipples | Overheard in Ann Arbor | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Genetic Engineering Has a Long Way to Go
Preppy freshman chick leaving dining hall: So, life decision for today: I want to become a Gummi Bear!
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Anna Deaton
Categories: Bimbettes | Colleges & Universities | Philosophy | Preppies | Students | Virginia | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Left You a Box of Chocolates in a Locker at the Airport
Office grunt: Valentine's Day lunch is for people who are having affairs. I've worked every Valentine's Day. The nights are all couples, but the days are all people who say they're coworkers but then grab each other's legs under the table.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: mk
Categories: Grumpies | Holidays | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's Now Extinct
Woman: I can't believe my friend pterodactyled me yesterday.
Stumptown Coffee House
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jose
Categories: Chicks | Kink | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Buddy, We've Got It Taken Care Of
Girl in sleeping bag outside music club to stranger walking by: Yeah, okay, we're waiting for a Hanson concert. Wanna make fun of us now?
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: isaac
Categories: Chicks | Music | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-23 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Do You Mean, That's Too Graphic for My Wedding Vows?
Loud girl on cell: I dunno... I mean, it takes a lot for someone to make out with you after you've been puking.
Outside Goldwin Smith Hall
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | K-I-S-S-I-N-G | On the phone | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Even without the Wink She'd Know How You Feel
Adorable professor, winking: See, now, it would be just like I came on Beth* and then winked at her.
Haverford College
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: not beth
Categories: Orgasm | Overheard in Philly | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
As Portrayed in the Screen Adaptation by Willem Dafoe
Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn't he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Christianity | Idiots | Overheard Lines | Santa Claus | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
You Know It's a Leather Apron, Right?
Big black guy on cell: Yeah, I wear the apron. But it comes off at night. Then we'll see who hustles!
301 bus to Shoreline
Seattle, Washington
Categories: Black people | Jobs & Careers | On the phone | Washington | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But a Wise Man Would Have a Paddle Ready
Dude #1: So, you're saying the moon is going to shrink to the size of a ping pong ball?
Dude #2: Yeah, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you how it's going to happen.
Shout-out: overheardlines.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tim
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Gossip | Overheard Lines | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
It Didn't Fit
Man on phone: Where's Joey? [To someone at the table] Where's Joey? [Into phone] He's in the bathroom trying on a dress.
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: bananna lee fishbones
Categories: Coworkers | Gossip | Overheard in PDX | Posted 2007-03-22 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Telepathic Communication Exception
Evidence prof, about hearsay exceptions: When Lebron James makes a three at the end of a game, is it a statement? He's not actually saying anything. Actually, often when I go to games there is a woman with Downs Syndrome who sits behind me. She's a lovely woman... She thinks the players are talking to her.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Categories: Mental illnesses | Overheard in Law School | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I'll Research It and Get Back to You
White construction worker: What was the name of Speedy Gonzales' cousin? The slow one...
Mexican construction worker: Why?
White construction worker: Because I want to start calling you that...
Hamilton Street
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: slowpoke rodriguez
Categories: Construction workers | Insults | Names | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
He's a Lousy Dater but the Best Darned Scarf Salesman in His Jurisdiction
Girl #1, after watching lousy pick-up artist with her friend: So, was that your future husband?
Girl #2: He just gave me this feeling... It was like I'd never be warm again.
London Tap House
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Insults | Overheard at Western | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Last Time You Said That, We Had to Get Extradited from Nepal
Chick: I haven't even showered today.
Dude: If we're going to have a quickie you need to take a shower first.
Chick: I could just douche first.
Dude: I don't want my dick to smell like a tree. I want it to smell like a panther.
American University
Washington, DC
Categories: Chicks | Douching | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Totally Worth It
Man to buddy: She's the one who introduced me to the lesbian that beat me up after sex.
Adams Morgan, DC
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Eavesdrop DC | Gossip | Guys | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-21 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Forgot You Vomit with Your Abdominal Muscles
Foreign student, in Spanish: When I woke up the next morning, my stomach was so sore. Of all the parts of me I thought would get sore after a night of debauchery, the stomach isn't even in the top 10.
Rector Lopez Argueta
Granada, Andalusia
Spain
Overheard by: Kelly
Not Much of a 'Break' at All, Really
Girl: So, what did you do over the break?
Guy: Well, I beat off a lot.
Saugeen snack bar
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: eric
Categories: Masturbation | Overheard at Western | Students | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But This Ruler Is Purely Recreational
Woman in miniskirt: I'm a teacher, yo! Wooo! I'm a teacher! [Starts grinding against the wall.]
Hollywood Canteen
Shout-out: overheardinlosangeles.blogspot.com
Categories: Jobs & Careers | Overheard in Los Angeles | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Without Them, Donald Duck's Too Creepy to Be a Role Model
Guy: Once you've seen him in his underwear you want to be just like him.
Huber's restaurant
Shout-out: overheardinpdx.blogspot.com
Overheard by: rich
Categories: Fashion | Guys | Overheard in PDX | Philosophy | Restaurants | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Am Willing to Pretend To
Mom to child: We are not buying food for imaginary people.
McDonald's, Redcliffe
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Ashley
Categories: Australia | McDonald's | Moms | Philosophy | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
We Replaced Frank's Regular Fellatrix with a Thumb-Sucker. Let's Watch What Happens
Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin' up?
Black woman #2: No, I don't think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suckers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Really?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a party with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well... we went off together and had a test, if... you know what I mean... and he said I was the best -- way better than my friend.
Black man: I'd like to try that test.
Mkt Frankford El subway stop
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: b&n guy
Categories: BJs | Black people | Overheard in Philly | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Are These Not the Hottest Slippers Ever?
Girl: I'm like Mister Rogers -- I change my style twice a day.
Farragut North Metro
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Chicks | Eavesdrop DC | Fashion | Washington, DC | Posted 2007-03-20 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Which Is Why Jurors Can Relate to Them
Evidence professor: You really have no idea how stupid criminal defendants are. Imagine the stupidest person you went to high school with. Now, imagine a person that your stupid high school buddy would consider stupid. That's your criminal defendant.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: kw
Categories: Insults | Overheard in Law School | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Except with a 10-Foot Pole
Horny girl: I'm scared! I don't want to get turned on by a tampon! I don't want to lose my virginity to a tampon... It's just, like, vagina creeps me out so bad, like, I look for excuses not to touch it.
Friend: Yeah, vagina is gross. I avoid touching it.
Stauffer Library, Queen's University
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: andrea
Categories: Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Sorority types | Vagina | Virginity | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Won't Make That Mistake Twice!
Four-year-old: Mommy? When are you going to marry Daddy?
Mom: Shhh...
Trader Joe's
Brookline, Massachusetts
Categories: Massachusetts | Questions | Should have used a condom | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
I Beholdin' a Gram
Beholder: You are not a beholder, buddy.
Non-beholder: Nah, dude. I'm pretty sure I behold.
Duffield
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: benji
Categories: Dorks, Geeks & Nerds | Games | Overheard at Cornell | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
What Really Happened at Hiroshima
Hungry person: I would sacrifice a million Asians for 10-dollar sushi.
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Crazies | Food | Overheard at McGill | Threats | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Global Warming Just Strikes Some People Harder
Guy: Do you guys ever get giant puddles underneath you in class?
Weary friend: Yes.
Guy: Mine always seems to be so much bigger than everyone else's.
Becker Dorm
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: ad'a
Categories: Health & Hygiene | Overheard at Cornell | Questions | Students | Posted 2007-03-19 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
'I Believe You Have My Stapler,' He'll Say
National Science Foundation lady #1: He said my behavior was willful professional misconduct.
National Science Foundation lady #2: And then what?
National Science Foundation lady #1: I told him to suck my fat black dick.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Creative. What'd he say to that?
National Science Foundation lady #1: He was real calm. He said, A) my comment was vulgar, rude, and highly unprofessional, and B) completely illogical.
National Science Foundation lady #2: Well, he's got a point, yeah.
National Science Foundation lady #1: If he says another word to me, I'm gonna bust him with a stapler...
Food court, Ballston Mall
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Okay, How Did the Fridge Do on the Test?
Bimbette: So, how'd you do on that test?
Man wheeling gigantic yellow fridge down hallway: Oh, pretty crappy.
Bimbette: Oh. Well, see you in class!
Man wheeling gigantic yellow fridge down hallway: Aren't you even gonna ask why I have a fridge?!
University of Winnipeg
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Bree
Categories: Bimbettes | Canadia | Colleges & Universities | Questions | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Shhh, They're the Fuzz!
Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what's they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium...
Homeless man: But what's they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene...
Homeless man: Peaches, what's they job?
Farmer's market, Union Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: I don't know, either
Categories: Food | Homeless | Jobs & Careers | New York | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
In Memento Whori
Girl #1: So, how long has it been?
Girl #2: Hmmm... about seven months or so.
Girl #3: What are you gonna do about it?
Girl #2: Hold a funeral for my vagina.
Prince Albert's Diner
Shout-out: overheardatwestern.blogspot.com
Overheard by: al
Categories: Chicks | Overheard at Western | Vagina | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Cleaned a Drain, Most Likely
Professor: Can you tell us about the conversion of Ireland?
Student: I dunno. Something about Saint Patrick and a snake? I'm not sure what he did with the snake.
Shout-out: overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com
Overheard by: jw
Categories: Overheard in Law School | Students | Stupidity | Teachers | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
On the Plus Side, They Make Great Stress Balls
Dude: Man, I've dated two chicks with fake boobs. I mean, what's up with that?
GW party
Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
Categories: Colleges & Universities | Eavesdrop DC | Guys | Rack | Posted 2007-03-18 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Monkeys and Vanilla Jews Are Fair Game
Bubblehead: Well, it's inhumane. I don't think they should keep them in cages... The, you know, what-do-they-call-em... kinky Jews.
Frat boy: Dumbass, they're kinkajous. It's a small, monkey-like animal, not a person.
Bubblehead: Oh. That's different, then.
Shout-out: overheardinphilly.blogspot.com
Overheard by: crankyprof
Categories: Animals | Bimbettes | Frat boy types | Jews | Overheard in Philly | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Could I Get Some Thanks-a-Lots without Further Autobiography?
Girl Scout: Hey, you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies? I'm gay!
Safeway
Gilroy, California
Categories: California | Kids | Sexuality | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
But I Was Cleaning My Fist and It Went Off
12-year-old: It's my birthday! You said you would be nice to me today!
9-year-old sibling: No, I said I wouldn't hurt you today.
Washington, Illinois
Overheard by: Laura
Categories: Illinois | Should have used a condom | Siblings | Violence | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
Okay, What Is My Motivation Here?
Girl: I don't like to be licked out of context.
New Rez common room
Shout-out: www.overheardatmcgill.com
Categories: Chicks | Licking | Overheard at McGill | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Divine Messenger's Calling from Inside the House!
Girl #1: This package is anonymous... But how did they know I would find it here? And it looks like they printed out my applications for me!
Girl #2: Maybe you have a stalker.
Girl #1: Wouldn't that be so cool -- to have a stalker that never showed his face but always helped you out?
Girl #2: They have those.
Girl #1: They do?
Girl #2: Yeah, they're called angels.
Girl #2: True.
Tech center
Shout-out: overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com
Categories: Bimbettes | Overheard At The Mecca | Stupidity | Posted 2007-03-17 | Email | Quote | Link | Del.icio.us | Facebook
The Saddest Words: 'It Might Have Been'
Asian chick: If I wasn't wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.
Shout-out: overheardatcornell.blogspot.com
Overheard by: doug
But That's What the Virus Wants!
Obnoxious chick: ... And I was like, 'Yo, get your STD blood off my shoe! You lick it off!'
DRT bus
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
I Have Standards -- I Just Don't Know What They Are
Blonde to friend: You know that guy I was going out with? He told me he was going out with me because he liked blondes, and I thought, 'I'm not a blonde,' but then I remembered I was... But that's not a good enough reason to go out with me.
National Art Gallery
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: Dr Hackenbush
