First Shoot the Person Who Gave a Kid a Megaphone

Little nine-year-old kid with megaphone: You are going to go to hell, you know! The Apocalypse is coming! Are you ready? If you are drinking, you are a bad mother!
Army man #1, standing nearby: Do we have permission to fire?
Army man #2: I wish.

The Kentucky Derby

Overheard by: Kdub-ya