My Diet Regimen: A Jerk for Breakfast, a Jerk for Lunch, and a Sensible Breakup

Slightly drunk friend: I hate Valentine's Day!
Slightly drunker friend: Me too. Anyway, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm just going to convince myself that I'm in love with him. That way, when he breaks my heart, I'll drop 20 pounds.

Volta Taverna
Oxford, Mississippi

Overheard by: that's the only diet i know...