I'm Like, "Look at All These Dishes-- What's Your Problem?"

Drunk 40-year-old dude #1, standing in line for the bathroom: Well, there are four sinks. We only need two with the number of people I've seen wash their hands.
Drunk 40-year-old dude #2: Yeah. There was this one time I was peeing in the sink at home, and my wife walked in. She was pissed. Good times.

Shout-out: feeds.feedburner.com

Overheard by: slight overshare