But She Wanted Me to Go Tornado Bicycling With Her!

Guy to friend in a bar, after woman suddenly departed: What happened? Where'd she go?
Friend: I'm pretty sure she left. She kept on telling me she has no self-esteem at all and that she has a huge nose. So I just told her, "look, you really don't have a huge nose--you just have a Wicked Witch of the West nose."
Guy: Fuck. Why do I even bother trying to fix you up with my friends?

Franco's Bar
Highland, Indiana