If You Want Me to Listen to That Shit, You Gotta Buy Me Bacon

Redhead punk: Oh, God, the first guy I ever had sex with did that to me... Well, actually, that's not true. He took my technical virginity. I actually lost my anal virginity first to another guy.
Blonde hipster friend: [Silence.]
Redhead punk: Yeah. So anyway, what happened was--
Blonde hipster friend, suddenly eating vigorously: --Mmm, French toast!

Denny's
Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: lost my appetite