Shiny, Though

Girl #1: That Zodiac movie looks pretty good...
Girl #2: Of course! It has Jake Gyllenhaal in it. Everything he touches turns to gold.
Girl #1: Oh, I know!
Girl #2: Mmm, I'd like him to touch me.
Girl #1: But it would be so uncomfortable to be all gold down there.
Girl #2: [Silence.]
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: God, you're stupid

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com