Celebritywit

As Long As She Passes the Talent Portion

Teenage girl walking with friends: Oh, she's pretty, I can be friends with her.

Denver, Colorado


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-21 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

An Unexpected Artifact Of Our Romantic Interlude

Girl #1: My uterus! Oh god, my uterus!
Girl #2: My god, the raptor is going into my uterus.

Dining Commons, UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Beth


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's the Guardian of Our Collective Chastity

Girl on cell: Why are you going to the gynecologist? (pause) Everybody has discharge!

Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: CoRri


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Since Your Sister Got Crushed by That House, You're All I've Got!

Drunk guy outside window: I didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!

Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland


Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Mike Hunt Fights the Temptation to Change His Name

Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.

Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

They're Even Set to the Same Music

Girl #1: So, how do orgies work? I don't really get it.
Girl #2: I dunno. I think if you see a hole, you just fill it with whatever you've got.
Girl #3: It's like Tetris!

Gold Coast
Australia


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Just Lucky, I Guess

Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If Evolution Is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right!

Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink...just...they're all in your face!

Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio


Overheard by: Laureen


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

So Listen Up, Ladies

Male British literature prof: Today, Alexander Pope and I are going to tell you what it's like to be a woman.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia


Overheard by: reb


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-20 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And All These People Were Lying on Me

Sorority ditz: It's not that I didn't want to do the homework, I was just too drunk.

USC
Columbia, South Carolina


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

We Have a Winner

Girl #1: I'm 20-orgasms horny!
Girl #2: I'm 100-orgasms horny!
Girl #3: I'm masturbate-in-my-class horny!
Girl #1: I'm stick-a-banana-in-my-ass horny!

Syracuse University, New York

Overheard by: gelatinous


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Michigan State AA Chapter Didn't Quite Get the Point

Frat boy on cell: I am going to get so wasted! I'm going to get wasted on water. I will drink so much water that I'll be like, "Ahhh, I'm drowning in water!" I will be that fucking drunk, bro. With water!

Michigan State University


Categories: | Posted 2008-11-19 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook