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...Given the Painful Inflammation Of My Chamber Of Secrets

Angry British guy on phone: My name's 'arry. No! 'arry! 'arry! Dammit, no! 'arry, like 'arry Potter! Thank you.
Girl nearby: You just made my life a little better.

Arizona

Overheard by: Meg:)


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...With a Little Plastic Bride and Groom Stuck Inside.

Young boy #1: I want a wedding cake snowball.
Young boy #2: What does a wedding cake snowball taste like?
Young boy #1: Like wedding cake.
Young boy #2: I've never been to a wedding.
Young boy #1: Then it just tastes like cake.

Snowball Stand
Louisiana


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Fair Enough. Solitary Confinement It Is, Then.

Newly admitted psych patient: I'm here because I'm crazy! What the hell is art therapy going to do for me?

Highland Park, Illinois


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hugh Grant Sparkles in Four Curries and a Ridicule

Man to patiently smiling girlfriend: Well...uh...I make quite a *mean* tuna fish curry. Uh...*or* a sardine curry. Uh...and have been *ridiculed* for it.

Clifton
Bristol
England


Overheard by: Sarah


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

...Without My French Maid Outfit On!

Man on cell: I can't dust your house today, I'm dusting Amanda's. (pause) No, I'm dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don't know why I'm carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!

7-Eleven
Dallas, Texas


Overheard by: Madeline


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Nag, Nag, Nag. Jesus.

Girl to roommate guy: You should really clean the blood out of your clown shoes.

Colby-Sawyer College Dorm
New London, New Hampshire


Overheard by: Jess


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Penny-Pinchers Are Born, Not Made.

Little girl reading plastic bag: "Value village." Value village? Do you know what that is?
Mother: It's a store.
Little girl: It just makes me so happy.

Toronto
Canadia


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-04 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come..." Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Alyssa


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

... We're High

Heathen #1: That's awesome...like Jesus on a stick.
Heathen #2: Haha! Ooh, that's funny because...you know...

Santa Cruz, California


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If It's Not a Potential YouTube Video, Why Look?

Girl sitting by window: Oh, John, come here!
Guy: What? Why?
Girl: Because there's a male and female cardinal sitting on the same branch!
Guy: Are they fucking?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Camera Loves You, by the Way

Reporter to bodyguard for racist, fascist political party holding a press conference: Can you tell us why we're not being allowed to enter?
Bodyguard: You've printed repeated and insidious lies about our party.
Reporter, after long pause: We're a tv station.

Manchester
England


Categories: | Posted 2009-07-03 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

She's Always Regretted Not Attending Finishing School

Girl #1: Wait, your mom is 50?
Girl #2: No, she just pees a lot.

Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Aubree


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