Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck. Rye, New York Overheard by: Grizzzly
Guy on cell, very angrily: Fuck you! (then suddenly calm) Well, that's what I was thinking of saying to her…
Happy man: Fred* and I really had fun last night. We fed Stumpy a cupcake!
Friend, after long pause: Christ, I hope that’s not a euphemism… Chicago, Illinois
Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Tattoo artist: It's just like that, except you're the girlfriend. Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia Overheard by: Clarissa St. Tacocrotch
Girl, surprised: A naked man??
Guy, after introspective pause: No…I prefer them in tights. St. Paul, Minnesota
Guy in subway: "can anyone give up a seat for this pregnant woman?" and points to door. Everyone looks at large woman who just enters.
Large woman: "I am not pregnant"
Actual pregnant woman behind her: "but I am!" Buenos Aires, Argentina Overheard by: Murphy
Communications major: What the hell is a palindrome?
English major: No, it isn't. California State University
Fullerton, California Overheard by: SixPackReich
Boy to friends: C'mon, we're going to watch Johnny pee! New Jersey Overheard by: CS
Old lady hooked up to portable oxygen machine: I need a cigarette!
Grandkids: Grandma, nooo! Restaurant
Chicago, Illinois Overheard by: martha
Middle-aged woman shopping with husband: If we weren't so old, I would say “let's go into the parking lot and make a baby.”
Hackensack, New Jersey