Oh Honey, I Would Put Your Marlboro Out With My Tongue

Obviously-not-18-year-old girl, handing man money: Go get me a pack of Camels number nine, please.
20-something man: Are you serious? They're going to think I'm fruity. (walks into store, immediately walks back out) I can't buy them. That girl is working.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: I'm sorry, would you like me to buy Marlboro Reds? That's a manlier cigarette.
20-something man: That'd be great. (goes back in and returns with Marlboro Reds): Sorry about that. Uh, if I don't get my type of cigarettes then I think they'd get suspicious.
Obviously-not-18-year-old girl: You don't even smoke. Akron, Ohio

The Way I Do When I Think Of Our Faculty Meetings

Political science professor to class, explaining the term “political actors”: Political actors can be political parties, politicians, organizations of different kinds…and by organizations I do not think of a group of pedophile carpenters gathering in a living room. NTNU University
Norway Overheard by: Amused student