Chives Are the Respectable Republican Cloth Coat of Herbs

Customer: I'll have a large hot chocolate, a chocolate glazed donut, and a plain bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese on the side.
Drive-thru grunt: What did you say for the cream cheese on the side?
Customer: Smoked salmon.
Drive-thru grunt: Oh, we don't have that kind.
Customer: What kinds of cream cheese do you have?
Drive-thru grunt: We have chive. Chive is like smoked salmon.
Customer: Uh…yeah. Bangor, Maine Overheard by: just wanted a coffee

So Do We.

20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about. Overheard by: burrhead

Nobody Understands Polish Romantic Comedies

Guy #1: So is she your girlfriend now, or what?
Guy #2: Well, I've told her I love her a couple of times…
Guy #1: Okay…
Guy #2: But then she just starts speaking in polish and tells me her mum is watching her.
Guy #1: Good, that's not a 'no'! Copenhagen, Danmark