Would-be pilosopher: So I've come to the realization that, sadly, my body requires food in order to function…I don't live to eat, I eat to live.
Ditzy blonde: Oh my god, that is so true, very deep!
Overheard by: sarah
20-something pregnant girl to baby daddy: I don't think we can handle a pet.
Overheard by: babies are way easier.
Slacker student boy, after teacher has announced half the class will have to take summer school: Yeah! Summer school!
Serious student girl: What's so great about summer school?
Slacker student boy: You get to get out earlier and you can do all sorts of shit without getting in trouble.
(serious student girl rolls eyes and shakes head)
Slacker student boy: Why don't you like summer school?
Serious student girl: I don't find the idea of waking up early through the summer appealing.
Slacker student boy: Have you ever had summer school?
Serious student girl: No, and I don't plan on doing so.
Slacker student boy: Don't be so sure of that, because one day you're going to start doing drugs.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: inoursecrets
Man to wife: The only reason it's an aphrodisiac is because it takes huge balls to cut the penis off a tiger.
Overheard by: Justyn Egert
Girl to friends (while reading horoscope page): I guess it means that, as an Aries, I should just embrace the fact that I'm better than people! (pause) Well, not better, just cooler.
Metro Red Line
Overheard by: felonaz
Woman: … And he walked down the church aisle and just started licking himself!
King of Prussia Mall
Overheard by: Zofie
Flight attendant: As you depart the aircraft, please check your area for any personal belongings. If you leave anything behind, please make sure that it can either be split three ways or that we can sell it on eBay. Thanks for flying Southwest!
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: robyn
Bimbette: But if we buy more Nike stuff, won’t the kids making it get more money?
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.
Metro State College
Heathen #1: That's awesome…like Jesus on a stick.
Heathen #2: Haha! Ooh, that's funny because…you know…
Santa Cruz, California
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