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Fine-- Pop Quiz, Bitches!
German instructor: Today is a bad day to ask me questions.
Several students at once: What's the meaning of life?
Montevallo, Alabama
Further Evidence That Missouri Loves Company
Middle aged man power-walking with friend in the park: I wake up, I drink, and I smoke. Then, I go to work, come home, and drink and then smoke. You wanna know why I do this?
Friend: Why?
Middle aged man: I'm fucking depressed, that's why. So I wake up and do it all over again the next day.
Forest Park
St. Louis, Missouri
I Believe the Technical Term Is "Manure"
9-year-old boy, biking: Yo, what kind of flowers are they?
13-year-old brother, also biking: They be poppies an' calla-lilies an' peonies an' oleanders an' hydrangeas an' shit.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Phanatic
Let Him Wonderbra for a While
Teenage girl to friend: Ugh! Eric gets mad at me when I tell people things, you get mad when I don't tell you things...just tell him to fuck off and leave my boobs out of it!
Rumson, New Jersey
Ten to One, Her Phone Is Turned Off
Preteen girl #1: Do you see all these blondes on the boxes? They should all be me. I should be on all these boxes.
Preteen girl #2: Did someone start a rumor about us? Because I haven't gotten any calls all day.
CVS
New Jersey
Ooo, or Hand Puppets!
Gay man, pensively: I bet vaginas make excellent hand-warmers.
Disneyland
Anaheim, California
Bet You Don't Know About Her Meth Problem!
Mother: Do you know about the tooth fairy?
Toddler: Yeah!
Mother: No, you don't.
Fleetwood, New York
Overheard by: Deek
...It's Deep
Women studies professor, waving arms: We all have the same vaginas!
Student: I love this class.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Tri
...So No Standards Apply to You
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
You'd Best Not Be Bringing That Bag to Our Next Orgy!
Sorority girl #1: That whore stole my coach bag!
Sorority girl #2: Did you call her out on it?
Sorority girl #1: Well, no, it wasn't actually mine yet, but I told her that I was going to get that one like a week ago, and now she's carrying it. (walks past coach girl, who has iPod headphones in one ear, phone up to other ear) Whore!
Central Michigan University
Overheard by: Central Girl
So I'm Sure You All Appreciated the Delay
Vaguely thuggish flight attendant: Aiiight, y'all, welcome aboard United Airlines...don't know the flight number, but we're going to Detroit, and that's all that matters.
Delayed Flight from Washington, DC
Overheard by: keeeeem
Unless You Got Johnny Depp to Lick It Out.
Mayo hater: If you kill one of my pets I'd be able to forgive you. If you put mayonnaise in my belly button, I would never talk to you again!
Universal Studios
Florida
