Celebritywit

Or They'll Get the Business-End Of Our Canes!

Seriously old lady: Tell the oil companies to piss off... We're taking over!

Melbourne
Australia


Overheard by: skeeta


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Everybody's Dated a Mustache Girl-- Just Not Publicly

Boyfriend: Baby, you have to shave that mustache.
Girlfriend: Shut up! I keep telling you I'm getting it waxed.

New Jersey

Overheard by: Rebecca


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Old Is the New Dead

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Business in the Front and Party in the Back?

Girl waiting for bus: A skort is like a mullet for your ass.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

In Wisconsin, That's a 1-900 Number

Tween boy with arm around girlfriend: So, he actually tried to use my phone to call Hitler...

Wisconsin


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Ryan Seacrest Was Pissed, Too

Man: Yeah, so the whole night he kept telling us that he had trapped this "goblin" and had locked it under the stairs. So finally, at the end of the night, we went to go check, and found that he had locked a midget in the crawlspace.

Boston, Massachusetts


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The First Rule Of Play-Date Is...

Girl #1: I just got a betta fish.
Girl #2, way too excited: Oh my gosh, I have one of those! You should bring yours over for a play-date!

Bellingham, Washington


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.

Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners... right?

Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York


Overheard by: Ldawg


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Jigsaw Killer from Saw Sings "Blue Suede Shoes"

20-something hipster guy: There was the big drill for the alcoholic... Then they busted out the small drill and it was like... woah!

Coffee Shop
Colorado Springs, Colorado


Overheard by: Vanessa


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Tonight on Ask Nurse Ninja

Woman on cell: You know what you should do? You should punch her in the temple. (pause) Well, you need to punch her in the temple so you can resolve this in a professional manner.

MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-07 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Wanna See My Needlpoint Thong?

High school freshman, examining friend's boot in hallway: These are like hooker boots, except crochet.

High School
Pennsylvania


Overheard by: One fine piece of needlework


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

The Best Possible Kind

Girl: A vagina is a delicate flower!
Guy: It's a fucking hole!

Bayonne, New Jersey


Categories: | Posted 2010-02-06 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook