Girl #1: Owww!!
Girl #2: What? What!?
Girl #1: Something hit me!
Girl #2: Oh, was it the bible?
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Savannah
Woman: She can't work, she has a bladder problem. It leaks.
Man: Well, she should just get a job where she sits down all day.
Nashville, Tennessee
10-year-old boy: So I went over to my neighbor's house, but she chased me around with a big stick.
10-year-old friend: You're a real ladies' man.
Edmonton
Canadia
Overheard by: Alex
Barista #1, packing a box of just-glazed donuts: Ew, they're all slimy.
Barista #2: Yeah, all that glaze.
Barista #1: It's like they're covered in semen.
(barista #2 giggles)
Barista #1: Seriously. It's like I'm cleaning up after an orgy on the streets of Louyang. I'm too gay for this shit!
Chesapeake, Virginia
Old man at bank counter: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Erm... Sorry?
Old man: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Sir... This cheque was written in 1958.
Old man: I'm 96 years old! I just want to cash my cheque.
20-something female cashier: I appreciate that sir, but the pound has been decimal for around 40 years now... It's 2012. This is in pre-decimal currency... I don't know if we can cash it.
Old man: I'm 96, I don't need any hassle! I want to see the manager!
Bank manager, coming over: Is there a problem, sir? (cashier explains situation) Ah... Right... Erm... Ok. (pause) Well, if you'd like to step this way sir, we'll see if we can deal with this over a cup of tea.
Old man, disappearing into office with manager: I'm 96! I fought in World War II and you tell me I can't cash a bloody cheque!?
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Psychology professor, introducing himself: I could pull down my pants and show you my tattoo on my ass if you really wanted to get to know me.
Student: What is it?
Psychology professor: It's the Green Bay Packers symbol, the 'g.'
Students: (giggles)
Psychology professor: Yeah, my wife calls it my g-spot.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: rustybeard
Guy: The best you can do is jumping off the Eugene Hotel and landing on some old dude.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
High school senior: I've been told that my voice sounds like a cross between Fergie and Jesus.
Baltimore, Maryland
Teen to mother: First of all, I object vehemently to anything that has anything to do with my putting on pants?
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: Lester T.
College guy: Dude! I just pre gamed before math!
Student Union
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Guy: The sky is pretty emo.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
Man drinking coffee: And that's why I always treat everything like it's going to kill me.
Ohio