Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin' up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas. Louisiana Overheard by: 2 tables over
Girl: My mom said “Just don't pass out in the port-a-potty.” Baltimore, Maryland
Man: Decaf, please.
MBA guy: Who the fuck orders decaf? That’s like having eyes yet walking around with them closed. http://overheardatkmc.blogspot.com/2006/10/open-your-eyes.html
Student: He called me a bitch. Only my mom calls me a bitch. http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/yeah-were-close.html
Hipster guy: I can't tell if I'm horny or it's just my sinus infection again…
Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven. http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html Overheard by: hah!
Little boy: Look! An end-of-the world watch!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced. http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html Overheard by: the ear
Man in fancy shirt: Oh, my butt's been hurting.
Girlfriend: Why does it hurt?
Man in fancy shirt: There's been something pokin' me all day. Portland, Oregon Overheard by: Brilicia
Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license. http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html Overheard by: newm