Celebritywit

Yeah, Indirectly

Girl: No, isn't Macbeth the one where she gets her husband to kill Macbeth?

Shout-out: community.livejournal.com

Overheard by: Stu


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Especially Not Child-Sized Ones

Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Particularly the One with the Retractable Razor Blades

Guy on cell: And all I could say was: "Thank god I have my surfboard with me!"

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

And Drove Past Your House. And Made Cardboard Cut-Outs of You...

Bimbo #1: Hey I remember you! Oh my god! I haven't seen you in ages!
Bimbo #2: Yeah, I know! I totally stalked you on myspace!

Sydney
Australia


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-09 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Then Wouldn't "Tight Asshole" Be Kinder?

Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he'd take it as a complement...
Guy: I get it! It's because he's gay!

University of Alabama
Alabama


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If Platitudes Won't Sway Me, Nothing Will

Guy #1: Well, they do say life's short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Where Only the Strong Survive Into Adulthood

Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I'm back in Jersey again.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

It's Not Technically a Violation of the Restraining Order If She Boards the Plane

Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of '68? [silence] I always ask. I'm hoping at some point I'll find my old girlfriend.

JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania


Overheard by: Ladle


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Or Striptionary?

MIT frat boy #1: I'm just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um... Sure.

Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts


Overheard by: Brian


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Jesus: Mooom, They're Starting With the Gay Thing Again!

Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said "Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow." Isn't that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you're supposed to think about Jesus when you're having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh... I get it now.

Piscataway, New Jersey

Overheard by: .... I don't think anyone gets it.


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

Still, It's a Violation of the Standard Creepiness Rule for Dating Age Differences

20-something #1: Your boyfriend is 61, right?
20-something #2: My boyfriend is 60. Our father is 61.

Colorado


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook

If Beauty Is Truth, I'm Not Interested

Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.

Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania


Categories: | Posted 2008-05-08 EmailQuoteLinkDel.icio.us Facebook