You Sound Like Someone Worth Working Hard For

Old hag: Sometimes I forget I’m married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn’t forget about him, but he not.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/no-wonder-he-is-fucking-your-friend.html

Overheard by: anonymous

Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.

Subway restaurant
New Zealand

Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

Man to friend: Let’s play the handicapped game — paralyzed, or just lazy?

Epcot Park, Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Mom reading book: This says ‘odd.’ Do you know what ‘odd’ means? It means something is funny or weird. Like when you said you wanted to eat a rock — that was odd.

Red Line train
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Sitting behind them trying not to laugh

Girl #1: Oh, man, I still have to contribute money for the grad gift.
Girl #2: Yeah, I had to do that yesterday.
Girl #1: What sucks is that you have no say as to how the gift is used. I mean, a portrait of Professor Erickson* is nice, but a statue of Professor Erickson fighting a bear… Now that would be amazing!

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/plus-it-would-probably-embiggen.html

Professor: I guess one lesson we can take from this book is to never slap a Chinese warlord.

20th Century World Novel class, Mississippi State University
Mississippi

Overheard by: blondie

Bimbette #1: Let me turn on the flash — it’s dark in here.
Bimbette #2, after picture: Oh my god, that was so bright! That was like when the cop shined the flashlight in my eyes at my DUI.
Bimbette #3: Could he see your brain?

Movie theater
Ridgefield Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: Big J

Teen: So, there is this shirt that says ‘Florida: Where America goes to die.’
Friend: I wouldn’t want to move to Florida when I get old — it’s too hot. Especially in August.
Teen: But that’s only one month out of 11.

New Jersey

Overheard by: Miss Fabulous

New bride: Should I get this bag for my mother-in-law?
Friend: Will it make her love you?
New bride: No… Fuck that bitch.

Saratoga Springs, New York

Overheard by: louise